


(Yours Under our New) Always

by amaxingbaek



Series: YUN [2]
Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Kris - Freeform, Mentions of Luhan, Mentions of Zitao, Multi, Polyamory, References to Depression, Slow Build, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Untagged Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 44,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7489071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaxingbaek/pseuds/amaxingbaek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite all of the heartache and pain it took to make this work, Baekhyun knows that this, having two soulmates, is right where he’s supposed to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Yours Under our New) Always

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** (Yours Under our New) Always  
>  **Pairing(s):** Baekhyun/Kyungsoo, Baekhyun/Joonmyun, Joonmyun/Kyungsoo, Baekhyun/Joonmyun/Kyungsoo, and MANY other UNTAGGED pairings.  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Word count:** 44.7k  
>  **Warning(s):** angst, allusions to depression, polyamory, mentions of Luhan, Yifan, and Zitao as characters, more angst  
>  **Author’s Note:** First, I want to say thank you so, so much to the mods for their endless patience in dealing with me and all my last minute extensions. You are both amazing and I really appreciate everything you've done for me!
> 
> And second, thank you to H, my beta for last round and part of this round, who unfortunately couldn't stick around with me until the end. And to J, who has been incredibly sweet and amazing over the last few days as they looked over my entire story in record time. Thank you so much, both of you, for helping me!
> 
> This is finally the end of this series, and I still can't believe it's finally over. 2 years of working on this but!! This still isn't the end because I have a lot of bonus scenes that unfortunately weren't able to make it due to lack of time.
> 
> Also, the song that Baekhyun sings to himself is "Soulmate" by Natasha Bedingfield.
> 
> For Shanti <3

_Yours_.

Under the black night sky, Baekhyun thinks.

New stars greet him today, although he isn’t sure if they’re actually new or if he just thinks they’re new because his terrible human eyesight can’t see things as beautiful as stars as well as he wishes.

 _Yours_. The word keeps ringing in his head, reminding him of why he’s even sitting on the lawn in front of his house in the first place.

Earlier that week, after he had come to the realization that he had _two_ soulmates instead of one, Baekhyun had been ecstatic, giddy even. It had taken Yixing a tremendous amount of effort to calm Baekhyun down so he would stop causing a scene, but Baekhyun had just been so _happy_ that he couldn’t help but yell and tell anyone who was willing to listen.

All his life, Baekhyun had thought that he would only have one soulmate - one person to love, one person to hold, one person to cherish - and that had been perfectly fine. Now, though, to know that there isn’t one person, but _two_ people who are made for him? Baekhyun never knew he had this dream until it came true. This is his shot at forever and he’ll be damned if he lets this one little thing get in the way of it. Baekhyun’s heart had swelled thinking about how he’ll get twice the love and how he’ll be able to give twice as much back.

There had been a permanent smile on Baekhyun’s face after parting ways with Yixing. Yixing had been wary of letting him leave, only agreeing after Baekhyun had assured him that he really was okay and that the smile on his face was _not_ as creepy as Yixing made it sound.

It was more perfect than anything he could’ve imagined.

Now, sitting on his front lawn, Baekhyun wonders how his mood could have spiraled down so quickly in just a matter of days. For someone who has been enamored with the idea of soulmates since he understood what the word soulmate meant, Baekhyun is quickly withering, a broken shell with no hope of ever becoming whole again.

The truth is, Baekhyun is _scared_. Logically, he knows that he should tell Kyungsoo and Joonmyun, if they don’t already know. Sitting here and staring at the stars isn’t going to do him any good, but is talking to them going to be any better?

Baekhyun doesn’t know. There’s not a lot he knows at this point.

But what he _does_ know is that he has two soulmates, he feels something for both of them, albeit not equally, and he needs to get off his ass and do something about it because wallowing in self-pity isn’t going to do him any good.

Something is stopping him, though. Several things, actually, but there is one main question he’s been trying to figure out for the last good five or six hours. Baekhyun doesn’t know what is worse – not knowing the answer or knowing that he _has_ to find the answer.

Baekhyun has known right from the start – from that very first pull in his chest – that Kyungsoo was his to be with, his to hold, his to love. Falling in love with Kyungsoo was as inevitable as anything could ever be in his life, the one thing that he was, is, and will always ever be one-hundred percent sure of. 

But was it pre-programed in him to love Kyungsoo or does he really love Kyungsoo? He wants to say it’s the latter, but he can’t confirm something he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know and he feels sick thinking about it.

And then there’s Joonmyun. Sweet, lovable Joonmyun. This is different from when he met Kyungsoo. He found out he and Kyungsoo were soulmates before anything even happened; it was something he’d known from day one. Joonmyun, though...with Joonmyun, Baekhyun knew nothing – might _still_ know nothing – but he got to know him on a personal level that he’s never going to have with Kyungsoo simply due to a difference in circumstances.

That sets off a whole new flood of questions. Does he really like Kyungsoo the way he thinks he does or is it something that was always supposed to happen? Would he ever have noticed Kyungsoo if not for the pull? Would he have felt like something was missing his whole life? No, he wouldn’t have because there would have been nothing to _be_ missed. He would’ve met, dated, and married Joonmyun and he never would have thought about Kyungsoo and that’s fucking terrifying.

They’ve gone through so much and yet it might not have happened at all. Bile rises in Baekhyun’s throat at the thought. He can’t imagine his life without Kyungsoo, but he also can’t imagine it without Joonmyun, either.

 _Am I a terrible person?_ he asks himself. Because how could he do this? How could he break everything he’s ever had with Kyungsoo just like that?

Tears are trailing down his cheeks before he knows it and that only makes him cry harder. He’s a terrible person. He doesn’t deserve either of them.

He thought he would be happy once he figured out why he felt the way he did with Joonmyun, but he’s not. He’s not happy. More than anything, he feels sick to his stomach with grief.

All he’s ever wanted was a happy ending, but he’s the one who ruined it for himself.

☆ ☆ ☆

Baekhyun had attempted to tell Kyungsoo the news last week. It had been hours after his realization in the cafe with Yixing, body still buzzing with the new information.

He couldn’t _wait_ to tell Kyungsoo. He wasn’t stupid enough to ask both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun to meet him at the same time, though. As much as he would like to do this with both of them just once, the last and only time Kyungsoo had seen Joonmyun hadn’t exactly gone well. If Baekhyun is being honest, he also doesn’t want to experience that pain in his chest again, whatever the hell that was.

It’s a bit chilly when Baekhyun arrives at the park. He rubs his hands together for some semblance of warmth as he waits for Kyungsoo to arrive. It’s a miracle that Kyungsoo was even free at all. Baekhyun had texted him suddenly, after all, a product of his excitement and his endless bounds of energy.

The last time Baekhyun had been in this park was when he was in middle school, back when he didn’t have homework to do and teachers breathing down his neck every other second of the day. It’s nice here, the quiet air of innocence that Baekhyun feels as he gazes at the old playground he used to call his, settling over him like a warm friend and calming his nerves. This is the first time he’s going to talk to Kyungsoo in a week. He hadn’t tried much after Kyungsoo had bolted after their date and while it still stings, Baekhyun knows when to recognize when it’s not a good time to talk to Kyungsoo.

Part of him doesn’t think Kyungsoo is going to show up, but he trusts his soulmate far more than he doubts him. Kyungsoo had agreed to meet up and he’s always kept his word.

Time seems to think that now is a good moment for Kyungsoo to walk over, and Baekhyun flinches in surprise when Kyungsoo calls his name.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo murmurs softly.

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun replies. Despite how uncertain he felt before, just seeing Kyungsoo in front of him causes a smile to spread on his face. Kyungsoo is only wearing a pair of black sweatpants, a black shirt, and a black baseball jacket, but he’s never needed to wear fancy clothes to make Baekhyun’s heart race.

“You look nice,” Baekhyun blurts out before he can stop himself, shrinking back slightly. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so nervous around Kyungsoo. Maybe it’s because this is the first time they’ve talked in a week. Maybe it’s because Baekhyun is still a little skittish that Kyungsoo is going to leave abruptly like last time. Maybe it’s because Baekhyun is about to pass out from how excited he is to tell Kyungsoo everything. Whatever it is, Baekhyun doesn’t like it much, the butterflies in his stomach fluttering around and distracting him.

Kyungsoo smiles, a little soft around the edges, and even though Baekhyun knows it hasn't been that long, he misses that smile, misses _Kyungsoo_. “Thank you.”

Baekhyun smiles back, knowing that it’s bright and square and probably takes up half of his face.

Kyungsoo sits next to Baekhyun and he barely resists the urge to grab Kyungsoo’s hand. Sometimes Baekhyun still isn’t sure what Kyungsoo likes or doesn’t like in public - they usually go to restaurants or other food places, so if Baekhyun is discreet with his affection by tapping Kyungsoo’s feeing under the table cloth, he usually can get away with it. Holding hands in public, though, Baekhyun isn’t so sure about. Considering the fact that Kyungsoo barely lets Baekhyun hold his hand in the comfort of Baekhyun’s apartment, Baekhyun doesn’t think Kyungsoo would appreciate the touch at the moment.

“So,” Kyungsoo starts, and Baekhyun is surprised that Kyungsoo is the one to initiate conversation, but he’s pleased regardless. “You sounded pretty excited on the phone.”

And Baekhyun perks up, suddenly reminded of why they’re even sitting in the park on a random Wednesday in the cold. “Yeah! I’m not really sure how to say this because I’m still kind of wrapping my head around it myself, but...” Baekhyun pauses to smile, absentmindedly running a thumb over the inside of his right arm.

Baekhyun’s head is quite a mess most days, these past few days more so than usual. There are too many thoughts swirling around in his head, one after another competing for his attention, and he just wants to tell Kyungsoo everything. Through the haze, though, he registers one thing: being straightforward with Kyungsoo is always the best approach. But when he looks up and into Kyungsoo’s eyes, he feels all the words get stuck in his throat.

It’s not often that Kyungsoo looks at him like he’s something special, or if he does, Baekhyun never notices it. This is one of those times. In this moment, Baekhyun thinks that maybe Kyungsoo has missed him as much as he had missed Kyungsoo, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips at the thought. Kyungsoo seems to come back to himself then, clearing his throat as he peers to the side and decidedly does not at Baekhyun, but Baekhyun doesn’t mind. It’s easier to clear his mind when Kyungsoo isn’t looking at him and distracting Baekhyun by simply existing.

Wiggling around to get comfortable, Baekhyun says, “Okay, I’m ready.” He pauses again to smile, heart beating against his chest. “After talking with Yixing, he kind of knocked some sense into me and I realized that we have two soulmates!”

Baekhyun beams, looking at Kyungsoo expectantly. He definitely wasn’t expecting Kyungsoo to jump for joy, because that’s not who Kyungsoo is, but Baekhyun also definitely wasn’t expecting him to freeze, to shut down like a robot.

His smile wilts slightly. “Kyungsoo?”

Baekhyun doesn’t even recognize Kyungsoo when he turns towards him. This is nothing like the first time they met, nothing like when Kyungsoo was ignoring him, nothing like last week. It’s _worse_ than last week and Baekhyun is stunned into silence. This is the last thing he thought Kyungsoo was going to do.

“No,” Kyungsoo whispers, and Baekhyun’s not out of it enough to not notice that Kyungsoo’s hands are shaking. He wants to hold them, wants to comfort Kyungsoo, but he is so stunned himself that he can’t focus on anything but the sound of his heart breaking and Kyungsoo’s continuous mumbling. “No, no, no that’s not possible. It _can’t_ be possible.”

Baekhyun crumples further, but he pushes on because he has to. After all, he was in the exact same position hours ago, so he can somewhat understand what Kyungsoo is going through. “I didn’t think it was possible, either, but don’t you remember when you came to my work? I know you felt it, too, Kyungsoo. I know you felt the pain when all three of us were in the same area. Doesn’t it remind you of the first time we met?” Baekhyun had only come to this conclusion after leaving Yixing in the cafe, had felt like a genius when he figured it out, and it only made him want to tell Kyungsoo even more. Now, though, Baekhyun isn’t so sure he should’ve been excited in the first place considering how broken the news seems to make Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo is still shaking his head, staring down at the ground. It’s like Baekhyun hadn’t said anything at all with how Kyungsoo is resolutely not looking in his direction.

He wants to say something, wants to continue talking to fill the silence because it’s driving Baekhyun insane, but one look at Kyungsoo’s hunched over form and he can’t find the words. Baekhyun doesn’t think he's ever seen Kyungsoo so broken, so beaten down before. There’s an urge in him to protect, to hold, to kiss, but Baekhyun also knows it will make things worse. It’s difficult, sitting there, watching Kyungsoo fall apart right in front of him.

“Kyungsoo,” he croaks, unable to keep it in. Seeing Kyungsoo in pain is hurting Baekhyun, too. Baekhyun wants to tell Kyungsoo they’re still soulmates, that Joonmyun being his soulmate doesn’t change that, and that Baekhyun thinks Kyungsoo and Joonmyun might be soulmates as well, but everything hurts, like there’s water in his lungs and he can’t breathe properly even if he tried.

“I can’t,” Kyungsoo says, only to gasp after. He’s trying to hold it in, Baekhyun can tell. A selfish part of Baekhyun wants Kyungsoo to let it out, wants to be able to comfort Kyungsoo but it’s hard to comfort someone when you’re being broken at the same time.

Kyungsoo suddenly stands up, a startled gasp leaving Baekhyun’s throat. “Where are you-”

“I have to go. I can’t do this,” Kyungsoo repeats and then he’s sprinting away. Baekhyun is left to sit on the bench, one arm uselessly reaching towards Kyungsoo’s retreating back. He doesn’t even put his arm down when Kyungsoo is out of sight, tears streaming down his face as he wonders how his perfect forever could’ve possibly gone wrong.

☆ ☆ ☆

Going to work on Monday is always hell, but this week, it’s Baekhyun’s personal hell. After crying for almost an hour the day before, Baekhyun knows that he looks like absolute shit. It also doesn’t help that he had skipped work on both Thursday and Friday, knowing that there was no way he was going to get himself together in time after the park incident with Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun’s heart pangs just thinking about him. There had been so many times over the last few days where Baekhyun found himself typing out a message to Kyungsoo, an instinct bred from almost two years of constant contact. It’s difficult, not being able to text or call Kyungsoo whenever he wants, when he knows the silence from Kyungsoo would hurt more now than when they barely knew each other. Because now, they know each other, have each other so woven into their lives that they can’t possibly be away from each other. Or at least that’s what Baekhyun feels. He’s not sure Kyungsoo feels the same, at least not now.

His feet are heavy as they take him from the parking lot to the building. It’s now or never, but he’s never going to be ready. The wounds are still too fresh, but Baekhyun has to forge on. He’s strong, he can clear his mind for a few hours.

He keeps his head down when he leaves the elevator, sending Seungwan a somewhat chipper greeting even though his head is down. She responds back with her own greeting, but Baekhyun doesn’t stay around long enough to figure out why her voice sounded a little odd. It’s a good thing that there isn’t anyone in the hallway yet, Baekhyun slinking around the corner and into his office in record time. He’s so focused on getting to his desk unscathed that he doesn’t take note of his surroundings, and he almost trips over his chair when someone very loudly proclaims, “I see you’ve finally decided to drag your ass out of bed. What took you so long? Hot date last week?”

Under any other circumstances, Baekhyun would’ve been comforted by Sooyoung’s teasing. Now, though, he simply doesn’t have the energy to fire back that no, it’s quite the opposite.

“No,” he replies. It’s more out of necessity than an actual desire to reply, because Sooyoung is nothing if not demanding.

Sooyoung doesn’t say anything and that’s even worse than if she were to keep talking and badger him with question after question.

“Baekhyun?” she calls, but Baekhyun refuses to look at her, eyes empty as they stare at the white screen that indicates his computer is booting up.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Except it’s not and they both know it.

Miraculously, she doesn’t push, merely sighs and gets back to work with an, “Okay. Feel better soon.”

Baekhyun knows he won’t feel better any time soon, but he still appreciates the sentiment.

It’s obvious that he isn’t the same after that. He goes to work, but only physically, the rest of him too mentally drained to stay on task for more than ten minutes without drifting off again. Baekhyun can tell that his mood is affecting his two officemates as well and it makes him feel even guiltier. Chanyeol hadn’t tried talking to him after Monday, when he had bounded in and practically attacked Baekhyun with hugs. Baekhyun hadn’t responded at all, simply let Chanyeol do as he wished, as if Baekhyun were a doll to push around. That was when Chanyeol realized something was wrong, but before he could ask about it with his booming voice and let the whole hallway know, Sooyoung had interrupted and asked Chanyeol to go get something for her. After Chanyeol had left, albeit with a cute, worried pinch to his brow, Baekhyun had mumbled, “Thank you, Sooyoung.” He didn’t get a response, but he knows that Sooyoung had heard him.

Over the next three days Baekhyun is a corpse, and he barely gets any work done in that time. The beginning of the fourth day is when someone even _tries_ to talk to him.

It’s Sooyoung, an uncharacteristically soft, sad look on her face. Baekhyun can’t look at her expression without feeling tears well up in his eyes, and he hates it because it causes him to want to cry even more.

Tears trail down his cheeks before he knows it and Sooyoung’s sad look turns to one of shock.

Baekhyun laughs, the sound full of self-pity. “I thought that I would have run out of tears by now,” he tries to joke, because that’s just who he is.

Sooyoung simply wheels her chair over to Baekhyun to put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Baekhyun breaks.

He doesn’t say anything, simply wraps his arms around her and cries into her shoulder while she rubs soothing circles onto his back. She doesn’t pry even after all this time, which Baekhyun is extremely grateful for.

“Maybe you should take a few days off,” Sooyoung murmurs.

“I can’t,” Baekhyun murmurs back. Going to work is really the only thing motivating him to get out of bed these days, even if he doesn’t do a very good job.

“Baekhyun, please. I’m worried for you.”

“I appreciate your concern, but it’s okay.”

“It’s obviously not okay,” Sooyoung says, an edge to her voice.

“It will be.” But Baekhyun doesn’t even believe himself, and it’s obvious that Sooyoung doesn’t either with the way she sighs.

“Fine, Baekhyun. I’m not going to ask, but you have to promise me that you’ll let me hug you if you come in looking like shit next week.”

Baekhyun laughs, the sound soft and scratchy, a product of him crying incessantly over the last few days and from lack of use.

“Okay, whatever you want.”

“Good.” Sooyoung pats his thigh. “Now get to work.”

Baekhyun manages to crack a smile. “Aye aye.”

Baekhyun actually does manage to get through a few files that day and even manages to send Chanyeol a smile when he walks through the doorway later. It’s obvious that Chanyeol isn’t expecting it, since he blinks owlishly before breaking into a signature Chanyeol grin that Baekhyun has missed so much.

“Baekhyunnie! Hi! Hello,” Chanyeol yells, looking like an overeager dog. It pulls a laugh out of Baekhyun, and now Chanyeol looks practically radiant at his feat.

“Hello Chanyeol,” Baekhyun whispers.

“I missed you,” Chanyeol says with a pout. Baekhyun’s heart drops, the former guilt that he had suppressed for a while coming back full force.

“I’ve been here the whole time,” Baekhyun jokes, or at least attempts to. They both know that while Baekhyun had physically been sitting in his chair this past week, that’s all it really was. It’s clear that Chanyeol isn’t buying it with how his face scrunches up, but bless him for not saying anything other than, “Sure Baekhyunnie.”

That day, Baekhyun gets more work done than he had all week, but it isn’t like that is a miraculous feat. Still, it makes him feel a little better.

His somewhat positive mood crashes down when someone knocks on the frame of their workspace. Baekhyun looks up with curious eyes, but when he sees who is in the hallway, he finds a person he’s never seen before. She’s pretty, chestnut hair pulled back into a bun and when she smiles, her cheeks bulge out slightly. She’s cute and the minimal eyeliner around her eyes gives her a soft look.

“Seulgi unnie!” Sooyoung cries, surprise seeping into her exclamation.

Baekhyun almost falls over, stunned that this woman in front of him is his _boss_. He’s never met her before, but he had heard from Sooyoung that she rarely leaves her office unless she has important matters to handle. Baekhyun can’t fathom why she would be here standing in their doorway, and his heart plummets when she turns her sweet smile to him after greeting Sooyoung. “Hello, Baekhyun. May I see you in my office?”

Baekhyun nods dumbly, still in shock and now a little afraid. There aren’t very many positive scenarios flitting through his head at the moment.

“Sooyoung, what do I do?” Baekhyun hisses once Seulgi walks away, presumably back to her office to wait.

“Go to her office, stupid,” Sooyoung responds. Baekhyun turns towards her, eyes wide and more alert than he has been all week.

“She’s going to fire me,” he almost hisses. He knew his less-than-productive week would come to haunt him, but he thought it would bite him in the ass at the end of the month, not within the same _week_.

Sooyoung snorts. “No she isn’t. She rarely comes out of her office, but she’s not malicious when she does decide to come out.”

The feeling is becoming less rare, but Baekhyun trusts Sooyoung. He knows that she would never lie to him, especially after the things he’s been going through in the last week and how much she’s helped him through it.

“Okay, I’ll get going then.” Despite his claim, he’s slow to get out of his seat.

“Her office is on the fifth floor,” Sooyoung supplies happily, Baekhyun grumbling out a thanks as he shuffles out of the office.

The elevator ride isn’t as daunting as Baekhyun thought it would be all but five seconds prior. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t have enough energy left to give or maybe it’s because the part of him that trusts Sooyoung to not lie to him is larger than the negative part of him. Either way, Baekhyun manages to make it up to the fifth floor, the nameplate next to the door reading _Kang Seulgi_. Almost robotically, Baekhyun knocks on the door, thankfully managing to open the door and step into her office without embarrassing himself.

Seulgi is still all smiles as Baekhyun sits down in front of her, Baekhyun practically melting into the seat with how plush it is. He has half a mind to ask her where she bought it from, but he has enough self-preservation to hold it in.

Seulgi hasn’t stopped staring at him, a soft tilt to her lips, and Baekhyun hopes the smile he sends her isn’t too strained around the edges, but he wouldn’t put his money on it. It’s nerve-wracking, sitting here in front of his boss, whom he’s never talked to before. Her friendly demeanor and smile help him calm down, but Baekhyun can’t help but still be a little on edge – it’s always the friendly-looking ones who can be the most cruel.

“Do you happen to know why I asked you to come up here?” Seulgi asks. Her smile doesn’t falter; Baekhyun would find it slightly creepy if it wasn’t so disarming, so open.

“Because I’ve been looking like crap over the past week and you’re going to fire me?” Baekhyun guesses, unable to hold himself back from joking. It’s what he’s best at, right after completely throwing himself into situations without thinking about it (like with Kyungsoo and perhaps with Joonmyun as well).

Seulgi laughs, the sound warm and bright, like the feeling of seeing flowers sprout from the ground after a particularly harsh winter. Her eyes curve into crescents, and if Baekhyun wasn’t extremely gay and didn’t have two soulmates, he would be entirely smitten.

“While I have noticed your working hours haven’t been as productive, I’m not going to fire you. I don’t believe in punishing people without first understanding why, and even then, it would still take a lot for me to fire you.”

After the initial panic that comes from Seulgi admitting to watching over his productivity (he has to remind himself that of course all bosses do that, it’s only normal), Baekhyun feels himself fully relax in his seat. The motion earns him another soft laugh.

“You aren’t?” he asks.

Seulgi raises an eyebrow. “Did you perhaps want me to?”

“No, no!” Baekhyun quickly exclaims, heart leaping in his throat at the prospect. He genuinely enjoys working here, and he’s not sure what he would do if he were to get fired this early into the job or at all, ever. “I would definitely prefer it if you don’t fire me. I would promise you that I’m going to be better next week, but I’m not sure I would be able to keep that promise...”

Baekhyun probably shouldn’t be so honest around someone who holds part of his future in her hands, but Baekhyun trusts Seulgi enough.

This time when Seulgi smiles, there’s another emotion in the curl of her lips. It’s not pity, but it’s something akin to understanding, although Baekhyun highly doubts that Seulgi could possibly understand what he’s going through at the moment. That doesn’t mean he appreciates it any less, though.

“I appreciate your honesty,” Seulgi says. “There aren’t that many people in this building that would have told me that.” Her eyebrows furrow here, Baekhyun’s breath catching in his throat. “Although I have to wonder, are you okay? Seungwan has been telling me about how you’ve been looking worse for wear in the past week.”

Despite just being completely honest, Baekhyun isn’t sure if he should continue to be. There are some things that he wishes to keep private, but now more than ever, it’s clear that his work is being affected and that he’s letting Seulgi down. He doesn’t want to feel obligated to tell her via some misplaced feeling that he has to because she’s his boss, but at the same time, it had felt good to tell Sooyoung earlier, to be selfish and share part of his burden with someone else.

So he settles with the middle ground, not too much but not too little. “I...not really.” Baekhyun pauses to laugh, but even to his own ears, it lacks the spark of life it used to hold. “I actually just recently found out that it’s very possible I might have two soulmates and one of them rejected the idea. I haven’t told the other person yet.”

Seulgi’s eyes widen. He knows that it’s uncommon to have two soulmates – hell even after hours of research, he hadn’t found anyone else who claims to have two soulmates – so her shock is understandable.

“Oh my,” Seulgi breathes. “I definitely never thought I would ever hear something like that.”

Baekhyun smiles wryly. “Neither did I.”

Seulgi blinks, slowly coming back to her senses. Clearing her throat, she reaches a hand out, lightly placing it on top of Baekhyun’s. The warmth feels lovely, Baekhyun unknowingly craving human contact from having next to none in the last few days.

“I had already thought this over before asking you to see me,” Seulgi starts, “but now I know that it’s necessary. Please take a few days off in order to have some time to yourself. I’m not insinuating that you’re unstable, so please don’t take it that way. I just want you to be healthy. Even though this is your job, it really isn’t supposed to feel like one.”

Her smile is so soft, so giving, that Baekhyun knows he’s about to start crying. When his tears do spill over, Seulgi is still as gentle as ever as she hands him a few tissues, not once laughing at him unlike Baekhyun himself, who lets out a laugh at how pathetic he must look.

“I’m sorry about this,” Baekhyun gets out once he gets his sniffling to a minimum.

“Don’t be sorry for being human.”

Seulgi continues to be gentle with him, but not to a point where Baekhyun feels like a child. It’s comforting. Seulgi has that kind of smile that would make anyone happy on any given day. Baekhyun has never felt more thankful than he does in this moment, at not being fired or being judged. Seulgi is the kind of person he wants to be, just a little, and now he understands why she’s the boss and why she’s held in such high regard.

“Thank you again and sorry for the mess,” Baekhyun sniffles minutes later, one hand on the door.

Seulgi pats him on the back. “Like I said, don’t worry about it. Just promise me that you’ll rest at home and when you come back, there will be a smile on your face.”

Baekhyun isn’t sure he can promise that, but a break does sound nice. Maybe he can finally cry everything out and possibly get his life a little bit more together in that time.

“I’ll try,” Baekhyun mutters, unsure whether or not he believes it himself. Seulgi doesn’t seem to believe it entirely, either, but pats him on the back again anyways.

The trip back down to his office is short. Baekhyun is almost entirely on autopilot as he turns his computer off and gathers his belongings. It’s quiet, Sooyoung nowhere to be seen, and although Baekhyun is a bit saddened that he can’t say goodbye to her, it’s probably for the best. He doesn’t want her to see his post-crying face again – it was embarrassing enough the first time.

Baekhyun shuffles out with his stuff, nose still red and eyes feeling puffy. Right before he turns the corner, he spies Joonmyun coming out of his office, his haggard face lighting up only to furrow in concern when he looks at Baekhyun longer. It’s the first time that Baekhyun has seen Joonmyun in weeks, a small miracle in Baekhyun’s book because he’s not ready to see Joonmyun, at least not until he gets himself together and stops feeling the burn of Kyungsoo’s ice cold rejection.

Baekhyun simply scurries to the elevator without acknowledging that he saw Joonmyun at all. The last thing he sees before the doors close is Joonmyun looking at him, a frown on his pretty face.

☆ ☆ ☆

Baekhyun wakes up on the second day of his mini vacation feeling like someone kicked him in the gut and then threw him to the floor. His head is pounding, a result of all of the crying that he did the day before. It was hard thinking about Kyungsoo and Joonmyun, separately and then together, but Baekhyun had no other choice. Left to his own devices in an empty house, it had only been natural for his thoughts to drift to two of the most important people in his life. Despite the fact that Baekhyun had wanted to put off his deep thinking for at least another day, his brain had decided that yesterday was as good a time as any.

Now he’s paying for it.

Baekhyun is no closer to thinking of a way to talk to Kyungsoo to help him try and understand than he was a week ago. The pounding inside his head certainly isn’t helping matters. Baekhyun stumbles out of bed with the intention of getting Advil and some water, groaning when some of his limbs snap into place after his initial movement. Considering he had been curled up in bed the majority of yesterday, Baekhyun supposes that the soreness in his muscles could’ve been worse.

Something black catches his eye when he reaches for the pain medicine, and Baekhyun instinctively looks to the inside of his right arm. He hates his reaction, his incessant need to check his tattoo everyday to see if there’s anything different, whether it be a good different or bad different.

The usual letters are there, the y, u, and n in a perfect forty-five degree angle slanted to the left as well as the-

Baekhyun drops the bottle of pills on the counter, mouth agape as he stares down at his arm. There’s another letter, an “o” and it doesn’t follow the pattern at all. Instead of being in the same line as the other letters, the little circle is exactly to the left of his “y.”

If Baekhyun had any doubt about having two soulmates, it’s completely gone now, blown away like a grain of sand in a desert. If he only had one, then the line would start to fill itself in more. He would have a perfect line instead of one line that started off perfect and a new line to the side. Through the haze, Baekhyun registers that he should call Kyungsoo and Joonmyun to tell them the news, only to feel his entire body freeze when he realizes he can’t do either.

Unbidden, a sob makes its way out of Baekhyun’s throat, and he clutches at his arm as he slinks to the floor, tears trailing down his face. His headache is already getting worse, but Baekhyun just can’t stop crying. This is the most perfect reminder that nothing is perfect, that there is nothing good in Baekhyun’s life at this moment, and that nothing can help him. One of his soulmates wants nothing to do with him and the other one is completely in the dark. Baekhyun refuses to think about how Joonmyun had looked in the office right before the elevators closed and cut Baekhyun’s vision off.

Baekhyun doesn’t even notice that he’s on the verge of hyperventilating, chest rising and falling as it tries to get oxygen into his body. Baekhyun takes deep breaths, but that only makes it worse, the air getting trapped in his lungs. It sets off a round of coughs that, mixed with the sobs, leave Baekhyun feeling like absolute shit. Here he is, sobbing on the cold tile floor of his bathroom, tears streaming down his face and heart heavier than it has ever been. He’s pathetic. It’s no wonder that Kyungsoo wanted nothing to do with him.

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun gasps, the hole in his heart reopening for probably the fifth time in two days.

Feeling like absolute shit, Baekhyun starts singing. It’s the first time he’s done it in awhile, the only time he does it when he’s so emotionally strung out that he _needs_ to find an outlet before he goes insane.

It’s not pretty, the tears and the hiccupping sobs preventing him from singing as smoothly as he normally would, but Baekhyun gets the words out anyways, an old song that is perfect in this moment.

“Who doesn’t long for someone to hold?” Baekhyun sings, no one around to answer the question. Every single broken piece of him breaks even further, and Baekhyun curls in on himself to try and keep himself together.

“Who knows how to love you without being told?”

Another sniffle, Baekhyun finding comfort in the haunting melody, words that he never dreamed of resonating with leaving his lips.

“Somebody tell me why I’m on my own, if there’s a soulmate for everyone.”

Baekhyun curls into himself further, wrapping arms around his legs and placing his head on his knees, blank eyes focused on the wall. He faintly registers that he’s no longer crying, and he feels more empty than ever.

“Somebody tell me why I’m on my own...if there’s a soulmate...for everyone.”

☆ ☆ ☆

Someone knocks on Baekhyun’s bedroom door, but he doesn’t answer it. He knows his mother is going to open the door regardless of his response, or lack thereof.

Baekhyun’s already anticipating the sigh his mother is going to let out and while it tears at him, he really can’t find the energy for anything at this moment. He feels dumb, weak, like he should be stronger than this at his age. All he has been doing in the last week is stay in bed and cry, mind trying to wrap itself around what his life is and where he went wrong. All of the positivity he had in the past has left him, but Baekhyun is too tired to try and get it back.

As expected, his mother lets out a soft sigh that she thinks Baekhyun can’t hear when the door creaks open. Baekhyun doesn’t want to see the expression on her face, isn’t sure if he’s able to stomach seeing the disappointment and pain there.

“Baekhyun-ah,” his mother calls out softly. Her steps are light, almost like a fairy with how she doesn’t seem to touch the floor as she crosses the room to place a hand lightly on his head. Baekhyun nuzzles into it with a happy sigh. He misses his mother even though she’s done this on all four of the days he’s been home.

When Baekhyun cracks his eyes open, he’s met with the sight of his mother’s face, for once without a teasing smile or an amused laugh. Baekhyun wants that, wants his mother to joke with him and tease him, but he also knows that he wouldn’t appreciate it in this state.

“Baekhyun-ah,” she repeats and Baekhyun can’t handle the pity in her voice. He simply snuggles into the blankets further, but still makes sure to nudge his head against his mother’s hand a little more as well. She sighs, but Baekhyun can tell that this time it’s indulgent, and seconds later, she’s running her fingers through his hair with a small hum.

They stay like that for a while, Baekhyun content to stay curled up in bed with his mother soothing him, but there’s a reason that she came into his room in the first place and Baekhyun knows she isn’t going to leave until she talks about it. Wiggling in place, Baekhyun struggles to sit up despite how much his mind is telling him not to and to instead snuggle back into the warmth he had.

“I know you need something,” Baekhyun jokes weakly, lips twitching when he hears his mother laugh.

“There’s no need to be smart about it,” his mother replies, lightly tugging on his hair and Baekhyun gives her the whine he knows she’s looking for.

“Knowing your habits is not being smart,” Baekhyun says, amusement creeping into his tone without him thinking about it. Even though Baekhyun has been doing nothing for the past four days, it’s exactly the kind of nothing that he has desperately needed (disregarding of all of the crying of course).

His mother simply pulls his hair again and this time the whine he lets out is from surprise. She smoothes his hair down after the tug and Baekhyun feels so safe, so warm like this.

“I know that you aren’t ready to talk about whatever it is that has you so torn apart,” she starts. Baekhyun freezes, a million and one thoughts running through his head borne out of panic and nerves. She’s never been one to beat around the bush, a trait that he had inherited from her. “but I’ve noticed how miserable you’ve been and you haven’t told me what’s wrong.”

It’s not accusatory, but Baekhyun understands the meaning anyways. _I’m worried about you_.

He nods to show that he’s listening and that he’s acknowledging the statement. It’s not like he can deny it when he’s been cooping himself up in his room for days.

“I know this probably isn’t the best time to spring this on you, but I’ve talked to your father a bit and we’ve both been thinking about looking at apartments nearby, if you wanted to move out? There are a few places that look promising, but we can always extend our search if you want.”

Out of all the things that Baekhyun thought this mother was going to say, that was definitely not it.

There must be an expression of distaste on his face, since his mother is quick to explain. “It’s not that your father and I don’t want you here. You know how much I miss you, but we need to let you spread your wings and fly. Home is comfort, but comfort doesn’t let you grow. You’ve been home for a while now and whatever is bothering you obviously isn’t going away as you stay here so we thought that maybe a change in scenery would be beneficial. Like I said, you can think about it. Don’t feel pressured to do it – you know that we would be more than happy to let you keep staying here. I know that I wouldn’t mind making fun of you in person rather than through the phone.”

She smiles, wide and happy, and Baekhyun laughs at how random she can be at times. It figures that his mother would never change, and he’s glad for the constant in his life.

“Okay, mom. I’ll think about it,” he promises. She leaves with another pat to his head, Baekhyun feeling a myriad of emotions swirling within him. He was calm yesterday, his body finally deciding that it was done with the tears and the fear and the worry. Baekhyun had only gotten out of bed to get food, but it had felt like his body just gave up, too tired physically and mentally to do anything.

Baekhyun himself isn’t even sure how this came about. He’s never felt so weak, so broken in his life and he’s wondered more than a few times if this is what having a soulmate is supposed to be like. Growing up, he had thought that having a soulmate meant finding the person who filled the empty hole in his heart, thought it was living happily and knowing that no matter what, there would always be one person there for him, who would love him, who would cuddle him, who would kiss him.

Baekhyun had that for a blessed year and few months, but now that he has two soulmates, he ironically has less than what he had when he had one. Hell, right now it’s like he doesn’t have a soulmate at all, let alone two. But whose fault is that? He might have Kyungsoo had he not said anything, but that wouldn’t have been fair to either of them. He might have Joonmyun had he said something, but there was no guarantee of that either.

Baekhyun feels stupid for having that little bit of hope that things would go well. He had always dreamed they would be together and have nice, large snuggle piles in a fort of blankets like kids and do a bunch of stupidly domestic stuff. But at the same time, Baekhyun hadn’t, and quite honestly still doesn’t, see anything wrong with his dreams. Sure, they’re abnormal, but have they ever been normal in the first place?

Baekhyun’s head is a mess, too many thoughts trying to claim center stage in his mind, brain bouncing idea after idea around until he’s almost dizzy with it. If there are two things he knows for sure though, it’s that one, despite the pain he’s in right now, he feels that this is _right_ , he does have two soulmates, and that two, his mother is right.

Baekhyun hadn’t realized exactly _how_ miserable he’s been in this house and it’s not the house itself, not really. Baekhyun needs a positive change to counteract the recent negative incidents in his life. He’s not sure when he turned into this negative person and he’s sure that anyone who sees him now would ask where the hopeful Baekhyun went. He would only be able to respond with, “You mean the naïve Baekhyun who thought he could have everything on a silver platter? He’s gone now.”

Exhausted, Baekhyun falls back and curls under the sheets. He’ll think about it later, when he doesn’t have a million and one thoughts in his head.

☆ ☆ ☆

Baekhyun’s chest heaves as he flops back onto his bed. Moving is such hard work and even though he’s done it multiple times in the past few years when he went to college, it feels different this time. This is more permanent, like he might possibly be here for more than a year. He might spend the next four or _five_ years here, shuffling into the kitchen and making a cup of hot chocolate before snuggling into Kyungsoo and Joonmyun’s sides.

Sighing, Baekhyun closes his eyes to try and stop the images from attacking him, but it’s no use. After Baekhyun had forced himself to just sit and think, he had somewhat come to terms with everything. It was going to take a lot to make this work, that much was obvious. It was just a matter of when and how Baekhyun wanted to try because, from experience, he knows that Kyungsoo will come around eventually. It’s just a matter of how much patience Baekhyun has left and how Joonmyun reacts.

Baekhyun, however, has been in constant hell due to his brain thinking up every domestic scenario possible since his personal revelation. Sometimes it isn’t much, a simple flashback to when Kyungsoo would run a hand through his hair as Baekhyun dozed with his head in his lap. Sometimes it’s a flash-forward to when they wake up together, all three of them, Baekhyun snuggled in the middle because he knows he’s the most needy when it comes to affection.

Regardless of whether it’s the past or something he hopes will happen in the future, Baekhyun doesn’t appreciate his mind betraying him like this. Thankfully, though, he’s been better, the doom and gloom slowly lifting from him, but still not completely gone, some parts clinging to him like cobwebs. Even if Baekhyun doesn’t want to admit it, he knows that he’s changed. It’s only a matter of time until he figures out if it’s a good or bad change.

His phone vibrates next to him, Baekhyun throwing an arm out to pick it up and read it.

 _Make sure you eat something!_ is what the message says, Baekhyun snorting because of course his mother would text him literally ten minutes after leaving his apartment.

His mother must be psychic, because within a few seconds, Baekhyun’s stomach is growling. He looks towards it in disbelief, like he can’t believe that his stomach picked now of all times to make a noise. His mother isn’t there to laugh at him while saying that she’s right, but Baekhyun can imagine it clearly enough. He grumbles as he pushes himself off of the bed, already missing the plush feel of it.

Baekhyun still doesn’t know how to cook much of anything, but he can at least forge through making fried rice, absentmindedly stirring the ingredients together as he looks around his apartment.

It doesn’t taste nearly as good as when his mother makes it, but nothing can ever compare to a mother’s cooking. It’s a bit lonely, sitting in his tiny kitchen as he eats, but Baekhyun figures he’ll get used to it eventually. He survived college in an apartment by himself, so this really shouldn’t be any different.

In a way, the silence is comforting as much as it’s suffocating. Baekhyun already feels the urge to go knock on the door to his right, an old habit from when Kyungsoo lived next to him.

Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo. It seems that his brain and heart had made a unilateral decision without Baekhyun knowing, where his brain would think about Kyungsoo all the time and his heart would pulse with warmth whenever he thought about Kyungsoo. Although, the warmth is only present half of the time, after Baekhyun’s brain supplies a happy memory or a disgustingly domestic scenario. The other half of the time, Baekhyun feels ice work its way through his veins, a byproduct of thinking about the look in Kyungsoo’s eyes at the park or a despairingly dim future without either of his soulmates.

Right now it’s the latter, Baekhyun chewing his lip to prevent the soft sob from leaving his lips. He misses Kyungsoo. Baekhyun misses Kyungsoo like he’s never missed anyone else before, and Baekhyun selfishly hopes that Kyungsoo misses him as well. Even though this has happened a few times, this time it’s worse because Baekhyun knows what it’s like to hold Kyungsoo’s hand, knows what it’s like to kiss Kyungsoo, knows what it’s like to have a taste of happiness. On the other hand, now he knows what it’s like to watch television alone, know what it’s like to stare at his phone and not have any messages, knows what it’s like to have a taste of loneliness. Logically, Baekhyun knows that it isn’t healthy to be feeling this way, for someone to have such a large impact on his life, but Baekhyun also thinks _to hell with that_ because Kyungsoo is his soulmate and none of the rules really apply to the three of them.

But if Baekhyun feels the most sorry for any of them, it’s for Joonmyun. Sweet, wonderful Joonmyun. He never asked for this, none of them did. As far as Baekhyun knows, Joonmyun has never once encountered the kind of happiness Baekhyun has, nor did he have the pleasure of meeting his soulmate for the first time while actually _knowing_ they were his soulmate. Baekhyun isn’t sure whether Joonmyun has figured out that Baekhyun might be his soulmate or not, but his fear of knowing is stronger than his curiosity.

Baekhyun knows that they could all be good together, though. He doesn’t have a definite reason yet, but he can tell that it’s supposed to work out, soulmate marks or not. Fate and soulmates are interconnected, that’s what Baekhyun likes to believe. He hopes that, in some other lifetime where soulmates exist but aren’t dictated quite so obviously, he finds Kyungsoo and Joonmyun and loves them, hopes that in that alternate universe things go much smoother than the one he’s currently in.

Baekhyun’s phone vibrates, and he’s so shocked that he drops the device, flinching from the discordant sound it makes when it clatters to the table. It’s another message from his mother, a simple frowny face that oozes disappointment.

 _I’ve eaten!_ is what Baekhyun responds with, chuckling when his mother replies with a happy face emoji within five seconds.

Baekhyun exits from the chat, going motionless when he notices Kyungsoo’s name right under his mother’s. The date on the side reads back two weeks ago. Baekhyun looks at the screen solemnly, finger hovering over the chat before he hastily locks the screen and places the device face-down on the table

Time. He needs more time. They both do.

But how long is too long when they have another soulmate waiting and they themselves are still broken?

☆ ☆ ☆

On Monday, a full two weeks after Seulgi had told him to take some time off, Baekhyun returns to the office, car keys in hand as he gets out of his car. It’s odd, not being dropped off by his father at the front of the building, but he had finally gotten his baby back from his older brother. His brother had gotten the better end of the deal, though, with a new car sitting in his driveway while Baekhyun has his old Kia Optima back. Baekhyun doesn’t mind, really. He only had his Optima for his first year of college before his brother convinced him of how much he didn’t need a car in college. It didn’t take much convincing, the lack of mileage on Baekhyun’s car proving it much more than his brother’s words ever could.

Baekhyun hasn’t even completely stepped into his office yet, foot still in mid-air, when Sooyoung screams his name.

Baekhyun screams back out of some sort of misplaced self-preservation, eyes wide as he holds a hand over his panicked heart.

Sooyoung is out of her chair, face carefully blank as she approaches Baekhyun like an actual predator. Baekhyun’s frozen in place, wondering why he doesn’t have any self-preservation when he _actually_ needs it, but it’s too late. He closes his eyes when Sooyoung is about two steps in front of him.

“What the hell?” Baekhyun asks when arms wrap around him. It’s a bit frustrating that Sooyoung is taller than him, heels or not, but he forgets the thought after she steps back, face still blank like she hasn’t done anything.

She doesn’t even answer his question. Instead, she smiles before turning around and going back to her desk. The only reason Baekhyun knows that actually just happened is due to the light floral scent that Sooyoung leaves in her wake.

“What the hell?” Baekhyun asks again, more to himself this time. Sooyoung has always been unpredictable, but that was out there even for her. Usually her unpredictability comes from her scathing or sweet words, never from soft actions like that and Baekhyun is completely thrown for a loop. He faintly registers that that’s probably why she did it.

“Are you going to keep standing there or are you going to get work done?” Sooyoung enquires. She doesn’t even spare him a glance.

Baekhyun can only stand there in the middle of the doorway in disbelief. He’s kind of missed this, the familiarity of Sooyoung’s quirkiness which in itself is never constant enough for Baekhyun to think he knows what to expect from her. It’s perfect, though, Baekhyun feeling some sort of weight on his shoulders lifting, albeit only marginally.

“Baekhyun?” Sooyoung asks, and this time she actually spares him a glance.

Baekhyun snorts. “That’s Baekhyun oppa to you.”

Sooyoung smiles, bright and sunny and Baekhyun can just tell that this is going to be a good day. Maybe not the best, but certainly better than the last time he was here.

“You still don’t deserve it yet.”

A few days later, Baekhyun’s sitting in his seat typing away. He’s finally starting to get back to where he was before his slump hit, although it’s still an uphill battle. Every once in awhile, Baekhyun will quickly look up towards the door in hopes that he’ll see Joonmyun. Baekhyun misses their little meetings, the times when Joonmyun would drop by just to say hi or pick him up to go to lunch. He misses the way Joonmyun laughs, how his eyes scrunch up when he’s truly happy, how he looks so carefree when they’re out eating together. Baekhyun misses Joonmyun period. He knows that he could easily walk down the hall and find Joonmyun, but Baekhyun’s still not completely healed yet, still a coward despite how much he wants to fix this situation.

Selfishly, Baekhyun wants to wait until he’s a little stronger, until he’s built up a little wall around his heart on the off chance that Joonmyun will react the same way Kyungsoo had. Baekhyun doesn’t know Joonmyun well enough to be able to determine how he will react and that uncertainty scares him more than the fear of rejection. He likes to think that Joonmyun would be more positive; after all, Joonmyun has been nothing but positive ever since they met. But Baekhyun knows all too well how easy it is to put a face on, to be so overwhelmingly positive only to come crumbling down.

☆ ☆ ☆

Baekhyun leaves Seulgi’s office feeling entirely overwhelmed.

When she had called him into her office earlier that day, Chanyeol looking wide-eyed and a little panicked as he turned Baekhyun’s attention to the doorway where Seulgi stood, Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to feel. He knew that Chanyeol’s panic was unwarranted, but that still didn’t stop his heart from dropping from nerves.

It turned out that Seulgi had simply wanted to ask him how he was doing, Baekhyun melting entirely at how sweet she was. For a brief second, Baekhyun wondered if she would be bothered to meet him outside of work just for a meal or something, but pushed it down for a much later time.

That, however, wasn’t all that Seulgi had wanted to tell him as Baekhyun had found out when he started to get up out from the chair to get back to work.

Baekhyun still can’t believe it, the words ringing in his head to keep in time with the dings of the elevator as it goes down to his floor.

“I’m promoting you to a full-time employee.” Seulgi had said it clearly, and yet Baekhyun still stuttered his way through a hesitant, “I’m sorry?” Literally nothing he has done in the last few weeks has been grounds for him to deserve a promotion. And yet, there Seulgi sat, smiling at him like she wants to pat his cheeks.

“You’re no longer going to be an intern.”

And even though she had said the same thing with different words, Baekhyun still couldn’t believe it. Through his astonishment, Baekhyun managed to spew out thanks after thanks, bowing so much and so swiftly that he quickly became dizzy within seconds, but that didn’t matter. Seulgi had laughed, gently putting a hand on his head so he wouldn’t hurt himself, and whispered a very sincere, “Congratulations.”

The elevator dings, startling Baekhyun out of his thoughts. In his daze, Baekhyun had accidentally pushed the button for the ground floor, blinking at the familiar fancy front lobby. It’s not as familiar as the lobby on his floor, but he had to come through this one everyday to get to the elevators. The woman behind the desk smiles at him, Baekhyun waffling for a few seconds before making a quick decision to head towards the front door lest he look like an idiot. Unfortunately for Baekhyun, he has nothing to do outside.

A thought quickly comes to mind, Baekhyun smiling as he steps off to the side, fingers reaching into his pants’ pocket to fish out his phone so he can tell Kyungsoo the good news. Baekhyun has the keypad open, fingers poised over the first digit to a number he knows by heart only to deflate, the reality that he and Kyungsoo aren’t on speaking terms weighing him down. His arms falls limp by his side, the sound of his phone locking echoing in his ears despite the thrum of traffic out on the street.

With a sigh, Baekhyun runs a hand through his hair. Every time Baekhyun thinks he’s starting to slowly resemble his old self, something always brings him back down. But he refuses to be weak. He knows he’s going to have to fight, both against some parts of himself and against the part of Kyungsoo that Baekhyun doesn’t understand.

Baekhyun walks back into the building, a determined set to his shoulders. He doesn’t look at the receptionist, but instead trudges right to the elevators and jabs the button for his floor. It’s amazing what a small pep talk can do...not that Baekhyun is really going to do anything about it right now. Maybe later, when he doesn’t have three hours left of his workday to trudge through.

“Hi Baekhyun,” Seungwan greets when the elevator doors open, her usual smile in place.

Baekhyun smiles back and Seungwan blinks a little in surprise. It’s probably the most sincere smile he’s given her in weeks. “Hi, how are you?”

Seungwan overcomes her surprise quickly enough. “Wonderful, thank you for asking. How are you?”

“Better,” Baekhyun replies. It’s true for now at least, the happiness still thrumming through Baekhyun’s veins from his new promotion. For the moment, he’s content.

“I’m glad,” Seungwan says, eyes soft as she looks at him. “I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit side-tracked lately and I didn’t want to ask, but I’m glad you’re better.”

Side-tracked is an understatement, but Baekhyun isn’t going to be an asshole and correct her. Instead he laughs and says, “Me too.”

After bidding Seungwan goodbye, Baekhyun walks down the hallway with a small skip in his step. He runs into Jonghyun on the way, exchanging pleasantries before Baekhyun stops dead in the hallway. Seeing Jonghyun had reminded Baekhyun of his officemate. Suddenly, images of blond hair and pretty pink lips come to Baekhyun’s mind and he takes a step towards Joonmyun and Jonghyun’s office to tell Joonmyun the good news only to stop short. Shoulders falling, Baekhyun lets out another sigh. He can’t even tell Joonmyun the good news, a knot forming in his stomach when he thinks about how he’s been avoiding Joonmyun for weeks. It’s not fair to Joonmyun, to leave him completely in the dark, and the guilt sinks lower in Baekhyun’s gut, taking up a semi-permanent residence.

Spinning on his heel, Baekhyun quickly scurries to his own office before he sees Joonmyun. Or worse, Joonmyun sees _him_. Baekhyun doesn’t want to think about what could come out of his mouth if they were face to face.

“Hi Sooyoung,” Baekhyun rushes out once he speeds through his office door. Chanyeol isn’t present and, not for the first time, Baekhyun wonders how the hell Chanyeol does his job so efficiently when it seems he’s never _there_ to do it. The worse part is that Baekhyun doesn’t even know where Chanyeol goes. He once entertained the idea that Chanyeol could be with Yifan, but never bothered to scope the office out to find where Yifan’s desk was.

“Hello?” Sooyoung sounds confused. Baekhyun realizes his mistake too late, praying to whatever deity who will listen that Sooyoung doesn’t turn and try to sink her claws into Baekhyun. He’s never the first one to say hi, oddly enough. Sooyoung always manages to do it and it’s only in this moment, his heart beating at a faster pace due to his brisk walk and his nerves, that he remembers that fact.

Unfortunately for Baekhyun, Sooyoung always seems to know when Baekhyun is most vulnerable for an attack. The only thing that gives away his impending doom is the squeaking of Sooyoung’s chair as she gets up.

“So,” Sooyoung breathes, lips mere centimeters away from his ear, Baekhyun scrunching his shoulders up on instinct. Fuck, he wasn’t expecting her to get that close that quickly. “Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to resort to other measures to get it out of you?”

It’s not like Baekhyun _doesn’t_ want to share his happy news. After two failed attempts, he needs to tell someone before he vibrates out of his chair. He doesn’t want to give Sooyoung the satisfaction of being the first one he tells, but Baekhyun spills anyways. “I’m a full-time employee now.”

“Congrats!” she exclaims happily, blessedly pulling away from his ear first and clasping her hands together. “Now this means I can continue to bother you for many years to come!”

“Thanks,” he replies. It’s a bit stupid, though, how suddenly Baekhyun feels himself slump after telling her the news. He knows he should be happy – hell, he _was_ happy literally seconds ago – but it seems that even this kind of good news can’t get him out of the pit he’s dropped into for very long before the webs cling to him again. It’s not Sooyoung’s fault at all. Under other circumstances, Baekhyun knows that he would’ve laughed at her joke and then responded with a jab of his own.

It’s quiet and then suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder, Sooyoung with a soft, understanding smile on her face. “You aren’t happy.”

Baekhyun wants to say yes, of course he is because now he has stability and he’s starting to get his life back together. But when he opens his mouth, all that comes out is, “No.”

Arms wrap around his shoulders, Baekhyun blinking at the sudden warmth. 

Before he can ask Sooyoung what she’s doing despite how obvious it is, Sooyoung beats him to it. “This is for not coming in looking like shit two weeks ago. I couldn’t give you a hug, then, so I’m giving you one now.”

Baekhyun laughs, surprised, shoulders shaking from the force of it and causing Sooyoung’s arms to lift as well. “Are you sure you don’t just want an excuse to hug me? What about Joohyun?”

Sooyoung pulls away and flicks him on the forehead before he even has a chance to take another breath, a cry leaving his lips at the sting.

“I love Joohyun unnie very much, thank you. That’s the last time I ever do something nice for you,” she grumbles. The sound of her heels is muted due to the carpet as she walks back to her desk.

“I liked it,” Baekhyun coos, snickering slightly when Sooyoung curls in on herself.

“Liked what?” Chanyeol asks, his booming voice no doubt traveling out the door and down the hallway. It doesn’t help that he was still in the hallway when he asked the question and Baekhyun swears that Jonghyun, who is all the way down the hall, could’ve heard him.

Baekhyun simply laughs again, not minding Chanyeol’s dumbfounded expression or Sooyoung’s unhappy hiss. It’s amazing how his mood can change simply after talking to these two and he’s never been more grateful for them than he is in this moment.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun simply says after he sobers up.

Chanyeol still looks a little confused, but now there’s a smile on his face. “Anytime! I guess.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun repeats, a smile on his face as he turns back to his computer. Despite the bumps in the road, Baekhyun knows that the rest of his day is going to go well.

☆ ☆ ☆

There’s someone standing outside of Baekhyun’s apartment door. Baekhyun freezes, thinking for a split second that Kyungsoo had come to visit him, but immediately discards the idea. Kyungsoo has no idea that Baekhyun even moved. Besides, Kyungsoo would never wear a red sweater and light wash skinny jeans; they’re too bright for his taste.

Curious but wary, Baekhyun approaches. “May I help you?”

The person jumps, and when they turn to face Baekhyun, the first thing Baekhyun notices is the plate in their hands. His eyes wander from the plate to their face, eyes widening a bit when he sees that it’s a male. He’s cute, round cheeks even rounder when he smiles, a dimple appearing on his left cheek. As Baekhyun steps closer, the height distance between them gradually lowers until Baekhyun has to look down slightly in order to maintain eye contact.

“Hi!” he chirps. “We noticed that you moved in last week, but we haven’t been able to make you anything until now...and even now I’m the only one here. But! I hope it’s okay and we both send our welcomes!”

The plate is pushed into his hands. Thankfully, it’s light so there’s no fear of dropping it. It doesn’t smell familiar, but then again, Baekhyun really can’t say he’s a food connoisseur, and he’s never one to turn down a free meal just because he doesn’t know what he’s eating.

“Thank you...” he trails off.

“Oh! Sorry sorry, sometimes I get too excited so I forget my manners. My name is Henry.” He smiles again, holding out a hand that Baekhyun easily takes. Baekhyun already feels comfortable in Henry’s presence, smile a little bit brighter due to Henry’s obvious positivity. “Amber couldn’t be here right now, but she told me to extend her welcome to you.”

“Thank you, both of you,” Baekhyun replies. This is certainly a surprise, but definitely not an unwelcome one. Meeting new friends is always nice, and from the minimal information Baekhyun knows, it doesn’t seem like living next to Henry and Amber is going to be difficult.

“I hope you aren’t allergic to brown sugar,” Henry says, pointing down at the plate. “We made Chinese fortune cakes...hopefully you’ll like them! We already ate a few and we’re healthy, promise!”

Baekhyun can’t help but laugh. Henry really is as adorable as he looks. “I’m not allergic, and thank you for the reassurance, but I’m sure it isn’t necessary. Anyone’s baking or cooking is better than mine, so I can’t judge.”

That gets Henry to laugh, his eyes starting to turn into crescents. Baekhyun’s sure that if Henry were to laugh harder, his eyes would turn into crescents completely.

“What’s it called? I don’t know Chinese food very well, but I know some.” Being friends with Yixing meant that Baekhyun was introduced to many different new foods. He’s never been able to pronounce the names, though, no matter how many times Yixing had tried to teach him; Baekhyun’s tongue just can’t produce the sounds that he needs to make. It’s a shame, really.

Henry blinks like he hadn’t expected the inquiry. “Oh, it’s called _fa gao_.” Baekhyun’s instantly jealous of how beautiful the syllables sound, but if his assumption is correct and Henry is Chinese or at least knows Chinese very well, it would make sense.

Baekhyun snaps his fingers, making an exaggeratedly sad facial expression. “Darn, don’t know that one.”

Henry chuckles at the display before he asks, “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know about Chinese dishes?”

Smiling, Baekhyun replies, “My best friend is Chinese. Maybe I can call him over one day and we can hang out.”

Henry’s eyes sparkle at the offer. “Oh that would be fun! Amber and I don’t meet many other Chinese people in Seoul.”

“Is Amber Chinese as well, then?” Baekhyun blurts out. He hopes he hadn’t offended Henry with his quick assumption; it wouldn’t be the first time Baekhyun’s lack of a brain to mouth filter has gotten him in trouble.

Henry shakes his head, the easy set to his shoulders telling Baekhyun that no harm had been done. “She’s Taiwanese-American. I’m actually Chinese-Canadian.”

“Oh wow,” Baekhyun breathes. “That’s really cool. I don’t meet many non-Koreans that often.” He doesn’t ask more, knowing that standing outside his front door during their first meeting isn’t the right time to be asking life questions.

Henry’s smile this time is smaller, softer. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“I’ll give Yixing a call,” Baekhyun promises, knowing how much it could mean for them. Baekhyun’s sure Yixing would have fun as well - Yixing is often hit with pangs of homesickness that Baekhyun can never fully help with.

A silence settles over them and Baekhyun begins to fidget. He has never been good with silence, even if it’s comfortable.

Henry seems to pick up on it, looking a bit worried. “Oh, you must have things to do. Sorry for keeping you for so long.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Baekhyun is quick to assure. The last thing he wants is for Henry to think that Baekhyun’s an impatient asshole. If only Henry knew how patient he actually is, Baekhyun thinks wryly. “I only have this empty apartment to go back to so it’s not a problem.” It’s a bit of a struggle to smile like nothing is wrong and Baekhyun is sure that it shows on his face.

“Alright,” Henry says, uncertainty in his tone. But then a smile quickly makes its way onto his face again. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around more often. Hopefully you can meet Amber soon, too!”

“I’d like that. Thanks again for the food!”

Once Baekhyun closes the door behind himself, he sighs, running a hand through his hair as he places the plate down onto his counter. It’s been a great day, one of Baekhyun’s best in weeks, but his apartment is lonely, and knowing that he doesn’t have anyone to share his happiness with sucks the life right out of him.

 _No,_ he tells himself. Stay positive, stay strong.

But it’s hard when the number of reasons to stay strong are almost nonexistent.

☆ ☆ ☆

“There’s a new intern down the hall,” Sooyoung comments right as Baekhyun walks into the office a few days later.

Baekhyun hums noncommittally, jabbing the ‘on’ button on his computer before setting his stuff down.

Chanyeol suddenly gasps. “You know what we should do? Throw a joint congratulatory party!”

“In here?”

“No, idiot,” Sooyoung says. Baekhyun doesn’t even have to look to know she’s rolling her eyes.

“We can set it up in the kitchen!” And Chanyeol gets this look in his eyes that resembles craziness that Baekhyun has come to learn to be excitement, like a happy puppy getting its belly rubbed.

“We can use a lot of streamers and balloons and I think Yifan still has some glitter left over from that one Halloween a few years ago and catering won’t be that hard to get and-”

“Okay, woah,” Baekhyun interjects. “Why so much effort? Do you even know the other person’s name?”

Chanyeol looks at him like he’s an idiot. Baekhyun bristles because he gets that look enough from Sooyoung - he doesn’t need to add another person to the list. “Well, a few months ago I didn’t know you, either. There’s this thing called socializing. Besides, it’s not like we won’t ever see them; we’re going to find out who they are eventually.”

“Fine, fine,” Baekhyun grumbles. A party actually sounds like a good idea. Amidst Chanyeol’s victorious yodel, he dutifully ignores the rolling of his stomach at the thought that Joonmyun will no doubt be there, too. Baekhyun’s still been unsuccessful in getting his shit together and talking to Joonmyun in the last week, and he knows he needs to do something, but the weakness that Baekhyun tries so hard to mask keeps resurfacing whenever he thinks about trying.

As Chanyeol keeps talking about dates and times, Baekhyun blankly watches his computer warm up. Hopefully he’ll find enough strength soon.

☆ ☆ ☆

“Bye Yifan, bye Chanyeol,” Baekhyun calls as they walk off to get lunch.

“Why did you say bye to Yifan first?” Chanyeol exclaims indignantly, Baekhyun snickering as Yifan drags him down the hallway by the elbow.

“Hey Baekhyun,” Sooyoung calls not a second later.

“Yes?”

Sooyoung sniffs. “You could at least give me the decency of turning and looking at me when I talk to you.”

“But why would I give you the decency of that when you don’t have any decency at all?”

“Fine!” Sooyoung cries, Baekhyun trying to hold his laughter in at her exasperated tone. “That’s the last time I try and be nice to you.”

Baekhyun is sure that Sooyoung has said that exact same line multiple times in the past, so he doesn’t think much of it. When Sooyoung is nice, however, she really means well, so Baekhyun swivels in his chair after saving the document he was working on.

“Okay, I’ll bite. Shall I be graced your good deed of the day, princess?”

Sooyoung sniffs again, but Baekhyun knows how much she likes being called a princess. He’s proven right when he sees the quick smile she lets slip before turning expressionless once again.

“I’m not sure. Do you deserve it?”

Baekhyun hums. “Well considering you’re going to tell me regardless, does it really matter if I deserve it or not?”

“You’re the worst,” Sooyoung replies, Baekhyun laughing at spoiling her fun. “But fine, if you _must_ know, I invited Mark over for a lunch date.”

Baekhyun raises his eyebrows. He doesn’t know what that has to do with him. Hell, he doesn’t even know who Mark _is_ so he isn’t sure why Sooyoung would want him to know this.

“Good for you?”

Baekhyun swears he can hear Sooyoung rolls her eyes. “It isn’t for me.”

Baekhyun likes to think that he can figure things out pretty quickly, but it still takes him a moment to understand what Sooyoung is saying. “Why?” he squeaks. “Sooyoung, I’m already having enough trouble with my _two_ soulmates, why would you think that adding another guy into the mix would be a good idea?”

“You idiot,” Sooyoung says, but there’s no real bite to it, just exasperation. “I’m not going to say anything else, but it’s a friend date. I’m not stupid.”

She might not be, but Baekhyun sure feels stupid right now, the panic that had ballooned in his chest popping and leaving confusion behind. Getting Baekhyun to meet more people isn’t the kind of thing that he would consider a good deed at the moment, but Baekhyun had learned very quickly while working with Sooyoung to never question her methods. 

“I...aright,” Baekhyun acquiesces. He’s still confused, but one quick glance at his computer for the time – 11:47 AM – and he knows that he’ll get his answer soon enough. Hopefully Mark is on a relatively similar eating schedule as him and eats around noon.

Sure enough, not two minutes later, there’s a knock against their doorframe. Baekhyun can’t help but gasp when he looks up at who he assumes is Mark. His hair is platinum blond, some stray strands hanging in his large, almost doe-like eyes. His lips twitch at the sound, causing Baekhyun to flush.

“Hi Mark oppa,” Sooyoung chirps.

Baekhyun nearly bangs his hand against the top of his desk drawer as he reaches for his wallet when Mark replies with a deep, “Hello Sooyoung. How are you?”

There are many things that Baekhyun hadn’t expected about Mark in the minuscule amount of time he was able to think about what Mark might look like. Even though Mark isn’t the most Korean name, Baekhyun knows that he shouldn’t stereotype or assume. And yet it hadn’t stopped his mind from conjuring up an image of a foreigner to match the slightly foreign name. Baekhyun certainly hadn’t expected Mark to have blond hair, and after looking at his face, definitely hadn’t expected his voice to have the deep timber that it does. Then again, Kyungsoo’s stature and face don’t match his voice either, so Baekhyun really should’ve known better. It’s human nature to assume, though, and no matter how damaging assumptions are, Baekhyun unfortunately can’t help it.

“Are you ready to go?”

Startled, Baekhyun looks up at Mark to see him smiling slightly. It’s a nice smile despite how small it is, no teeth showing whatsoever.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m ready,” Baekhyun replies, already feeling a little out of it. It’s going to take a while to get used to the timber of Mark’s voice.

“Have fun!” Sooyoung calls. “Don’t do anything stupid!”

Baekhyun snorts before he can help himself. “Who does she think I am? Besides, the things she considers stupid are things I consider normal.”

Mark chuckles softly and Baekhyun swears that he can feel the vibrations of it running through his chest. “I’m not surprised.”

Throughout the time they’re walking together down the street to a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that Baekhyun never knew existed, Baekhyun learns that Mark doesn’t talk much. Almost everyone talks less than Baekhyun himself, so he’s used to filling in most of the conversation. Mark, though, Mark has to be one of the quietest people Baekhyun has ever met. Baekhyun might not know an incredibly large amount of people, but he knows enough to be able to compare, like with Jongin. There’s no denying that Mark is more soft-spoken than Jongin. But whereas Jongin is adorable and sleepy, therefore leading to a lack of responses, Mark seems to be the type of guy who listens and only ever interjects with thoughts of his own when he deems necessary. As Mark burst into a loud round of laughter from something Baekhyun says, Baekhyun remembers that he _really_ shouldn’t assume, and that he literally just met Mark. It could just be that Mark is shy when he first meets people.

They arrive at the quaint restaurant quickly, Baekhyun only a little sweaty from the exercise, all of the talking he did, and the sun beating down on his face. Inside of the restaurant is slightly cooler, fans attached to the walls and ceilings working overtime to provide a cooler atmosphere, but Baekhyun has always been weak to the heat and he’s panting by the time they’re standing in line.

“Are you okay?” Mark wonders.

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun reassures. “It’s just that I’m not the most tolerant of heat and all of that talking certainly didn’t help anything.”

Mark still seems a bit worried, bless his kind soul, but he lets it go, instead choosing to look over the handwritten menu on the wall ahead of them.

As he scans the menu, Baekhyun asks, “Have you ever been here before?” It only makes sense; Mark had been the one to lead the way after all.

Mark nods, putting his hands in his pockets. “It’s a place that I used to come to when I was starting out at the company. It’s small enough that it’s comfortable but still helps me feel like I can be alone for a while.”

“Thank you for sharing it with me, then.” Baekhyun knows how special places can be, so he feels the sentiment in the gesture. They could’ve gone anywhere and Baekhyun wouldn’t have minded, yet Mark had led them here.

Mark doesn’t respond, but despite just meeting each other, Baekhyun thinks he understands Mark’s answer anyways.

After ordering, the owner’s face lighting up with a brilliant smile when he had recognized Mark, they head over to a table in the corner. There’s a level of privacy in this little restaurant that Baekhyun doesn’t think he’s seen anywhere else before. It’s not that each table is separated by a wall or stand, but there’s enough space between each table that, despite the fact that the lunch rush is starting to arrive, Baekhyun feels comfortable that their conversation won’t be heard by anyone else.

Baekhyun looks around as they wait for their food, eyes roaming over the walls that have a plethora of pictures spread out on them. While this place doesn’t seem to be the most well-known, there’s no doubt that it’s well cared for. Baekhyun can see it in the way there are so many memories spread throughout the walls, in the way there’s a relaxed, family-like feeling, in the way each table is different from each other but all still match perfectly. It kind of reminds Baekhyun of the noodle shop that he and Kyungsoo so often frequented last year. Baekhyun already likes it a lot and he hasn’t even tried the food yet.

“This is a really nice place,” Baekhyun says. “Nice” doesn’t cover it, not at all, but it had been the first word Baekhyun could think of.

Mark smiles, like he’s proud of Baekhyun’s observation and as if the restaurant was his own. “I’m glad you like it. I promise you won’t be disappointed by the food, either.”

Baekhyun side-eyes him. “We’ll see about that.”

Mark smiles cheekily. “It’s a good thing I’m paying then, isn’t it?”

Dumbfounded, Baekhyun can only blink at Mark. “What? No, it’s okay, you don’t have to.”

Mark just waves him off, though. “It’s okay. Sooyoung basically scolded me ten times over in order to drill it into my head.”

That sounds like such a Sooyoung thing to do that Baekhyun can’t help but laugh in disbelief. “I’m sorry that you were on the receiving end of that. Thank you, though, really. I’ll make sure to pay next time.”

“Next time?” Mark asks with a raised eyebrow.

Baekhyun fumbles, hands flapping through the air. “Well, I mean, eating with someone is always fun and you don’t seem like a bad person?”

Mark laughs so hard his eyes crinkle up, almost immediately dispelling the panic that had welled up inside Baekhyun. “I was kidding. You talk a lot, but I’m slowly getting used to it.”

“Not sorry?” Baekhyun offers sheepishly, to which Mark simply laughs again.

“I’m kind of used to it. When Jinyoung gets on a roll, it’s impossible to stop him.”

“Is that the name of your soulmate? Jinyoung?” Baekhyun blurts out, face burning from his lack of filter.

Mark’s smile is soft as he stares at his hands. “Yes,” he answers simply but doesn’t offer any other information.

A server appears with their food just then. He’s swift and efficient, leaving with a bow after placing their plates and bowls down.

Baekhyun eyes the plate in front of him in curiosity. The meat smells delicious and well-seasoned and he only hopes that it tastes good as well. Mark seems to be waiting for his opinion, and Baekhyun, not one to pass up the opportunity to be dramatic, exaggerates for Mark, taking his utensils out with a flourish and blowing the steam away from the meat with gusto. Mark’s lips twitch at the display but he’s otherwise looking back and forth from his own food to Baekhyun, like he wants to see Baekhyun’s reaction but doesn’t want to be caught staring. Baekhyun’s stomach grumbles in hunger, then, and Baekhyun takes that as his cue to drop the act and eat.

He isn’t disappointed; the meat is tender and delicious. “This is good,” Baekhyun almost moans, and through the way his tastebuds are having a party in his mouth, Baekhyun notices Mark smiling and finally picking up his chopsticks to eat.

They eat in relative silence, but Baekhyun can only sit still for so long, even when he’s eating. Small talk comes relatively easily mostly because Baekhyun always has something to say and Mark is incredibly indulgent.

It isn’t until Baekhyun is relatively finished with his meal that Mark clears his throat.

“There’s actually another reason why I chose this place,” Mark says. “It’s true that I like it because it’s small, but it’s also secluded. No one will be listening to our conversation.”

The atmosphere changes, then, Baekhyun fidgeting in his set. He won’t lie – he’s been curious as to the reason for this meet-up, but Mark is wonderful company so it had slipped his mind. Now, though, being reminded that there was a purpose for Sooyoung setting this up, has Baekhyun’s stomach dropping.

“I hope we’ll be having a good conversation,” Baekhyun tries to joke.

Mark gives one of his small smiles. “Depends on your definition of ‘good’.”

That’s not really helpful. Baekhyun bites down on his lower lip, fingers twirling in his lap. He doesn’t offer a response, but Mark doesn’t seem to mind as he stares down at the tabletop.

Baekhyun takes this time to look at Mark, eyes once again focusing on the almost off-yellow of Mark’s hair. Even though Joonmyun’s hair is also blond, there’s a difference between his and Mark’s. The colors are practically the same, but Joonmyun’s hair is shorter, bangs styled in a neat side sweep whereas Mark’s hair is longer, some strands curling around his ear when Mark pushes his hair back. Mark’s hair doesn’t look as soft as Joonmyun’s, but it still has its own shine. It’s amazing as much as it’s weird how two things can look so similar yet be so different.

Mark fidgets, Baekhyun’s eyes snapping back to Mark’s face. His eyebrows are a little pinched, and he’s still not looking Baekhyun in the eye, and there’s a square set to Mark’s shoulders that is hard to ignore.

“I’m just going to start, I guess,” Mark mumbles. Baekhyun isn’t sure if he was supposed to hear that or not, so he doesn’t respond. He feels a little better, though, knowing that Mark is somewhat nervous about this. At least he isn’t alone.

“Sooyoung didn’t really say anything about your personal life, just that you were having a hard time with something. I wasn’t sure what she meant at first, and she knows I’m not the most talkative person so there are only a few things I can help with. I think I figured out what it was, though, and I really hope I’m right.” Mark stops, seeming to collect his thoughts and himself, cheeks puffing out before letting out a breath. “I have two soulmates.”

Baekhyun feels his heart actually skip a beat, eyes widening so much he starts to feel a slight strain. Out of all the things he expected Mark to say, that wasn’t even _close_ to making the list.

“I...what?” Baekhyun gets out. He’s so confused. So, so confused. Baekhyun isn’t sure he even heard that right, isn’t sure if he’s dreaming right now, or if he made the whole thing up.

Mark looks somewhat worried at Baekhyun’s response, lower lip caught between his teeth. “Was I wrong in telling you this?”

And now Baekhyun’s heart breaks, mouth pulling down into a frown because the last thing he wants is for Mark to feel like he made a mistake telling Baekhyun something so personal. Even though the few people Baekhyun has told about his two soulmates had reacted positively (sans one very important person), Baekhyun can imagine just how painful it would be to be laughed at, ridiculed, told he’s making things up.

“No!” Baekhyun blurts, his heart now picking up speed in a panic. “No, no, I...I have two soulmates, too.”

Mark visibly relaxes, slumping back into his chair and running a hand through his hair. If Baekhyun looks hard enough, he can see the way Mark’s hands shake. It’s only then that Baekhyun notices that his hands are shaking as well.

And throughout the confusion swirling throughout his whole body, Baekhyun feels a tiny bit of warmth in his chest. It’s not the kind of warmth he had from holding Kyungsoo’s hand or from eating out with Joonmyun. But it grows, moving around Baekhyun’s ribs and expanding to his toes and he recognizes it as _hope_. He’s not _alone_. That thought hits him full-force, enough for it to feel like Baekhyun can’t breath for a second before all the air is rushing out of his lungs in a deep exhale and then he’s laughing.

Baekhyun doesn’t know why he’s laughing, but the urge just takes over him until he’s almost delusional with it. The only thought swirling through his head right now is that he isn’t as abnormal as he had thought, that there are other people out there like him, like them.

“I’m not alone,” Baekhyun manages to say through his laughter. He knows he probably looks a little maniacal, but Baekhyun gives about zero fucks right now.

At this point, Mark looks a little amused, hand reaching out to grab onto Baekhyun’s.

“No, you aren’t.”

It takes a while for Baekhyun to calm down. Half of him is still in disbelief, but the other half of him, the part of him that burns bright with hope, feels light.

“I can’t believe it,” Baekhyun breathes. “I never thought...well I never thought I would have two soulmates. But I also never thought that there would be others as well.”

Mark’s smile is a tad wry. “That’s what I thought as well until a few days ago.”

Baekhyun simply sits there and breathes, mind racing to fully accept the fact laid out in front of him. It’s just so surreal. Nothing is turning out to be like what he dreamt of when he was a kid, but Baekhyun can feel himself slowly starting to come to terms with it.

“Can I tell you a story?” Mark asks. He seems hesitant, fingers squeezing Baekhyun’s hand harder than he probably realizes.

“Of course,” Baekhyun says. Now that Baekhyun has calmed down, he has a million and one questions for Mark, but he holds them back in order to let Mark speak.

“I was the last of the three of us to join,” Mark says softly. His eyes are a bit distant, no doubt probably thinking back to the past. “I felt wrong, like I was intruding. Jaebum and Jinyoung had been together for four years before I met them and everything about them seemed perfect. They were kind towards each other and if soulmates didn’t exist, I still would have described them that way. ‘Soulmates’ seemed like the only way to describe how perfectly in sync Jaebum and Jinyoung were.” Mark pauses here to smile, just a soft curl at the corners of his lips. “Even to this day, I would still describe them like that. But then there came a point where they started to be kind to _me_. Me, some kid who had come from America on a whim and thought that everything would be fine. Miraculously, I found a job and an apartment, and it was fine for a while. Then one day, I realized how dull my life was, so I got dressed up and went to a club. Very unoriginal and very stupid, I know.” Mark laughs, and Baekhyun is caught on every single word leaving Mark’s lips, as if he’s in a trance.

“I barely knew Korean proficiently and here I was standing outside of a club at eleven at night. I finally got in, and I’ll let you know that I’m not the best dancer, but I can sure keep a beat. But there was this guy in the middle of a circle and I just couldn’t look away. He was gorgeous, from his light blond hair to his piercings, and he knew he was if the smirks he threw were anything to go by. Just as I was working up the courage to try and talk to him, someone danced right up to him and they fell into place perfectly. I could tell they weren’t strangers, that they weren’t two halves of a whole, but that they were one entity, together.”

Mark shakes his head with a smile. “I felt so stupid. Of course a guy as gorgeous as that would be taken. Somehow, I lost track of time and the next thing I knew, they were both sliding up to the spots next to me at the bar. Jinyoung was actually the first to notice me. Later on he told me that I looked like a deer in headlights when they sat next to me, but I still don’t believe him. Anyways, we spent what felt like hours together, talking in that little bar downtown and then that transitioned into meeting up days later, and then days after that, and days after that until I was pretty much seeing or talking to at least one of them everyday. It was an odd feeling, knowing that they were together yet they kept talking to me like I was someone important. I only started to figure it out once the first letter appeared.” Mark pauses to roll up his sleeve with the hand that isn’t clasped in Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun gasps when the beginning of one of the letters appears, fighting the urge to reach out and run a hand over it. Mark doesn’t show more, just that one letter before he’s letting his sleeve go.

“Then I felt confused. I’ll spare you my emotional rollercoaster, but we, obviously, worked things out. Sometimes I still feel like the one-third that doesn’t fit with their whole, but the letters don’t lie right? Or course there were rough times, but we’ve worked through them and came out stronger. Every once in a while I dwell on the fact that our names don’t match perfectly, but I feel right when I’m with them.”

Baekhyun only now realizes that Mark and Jinyoung’s names don’t match and he’s left stunned. If there’s one thing that Baekhyun knows about soulmates, it’s that their names must match with at least one letter. But no matter how many times Baekhyun spells both of their names out, he can’t find a matching letter.

And they had been even more broken than Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Joonmyun are currently, so if they can work, Baekhyun selfishly wonders why his situation can’t as well under better circumstances.

It’s like a punch to the gut, the sudden understanding that he’s being selfish in wanting everything to go his way. He knew it was going to take effort to have things work out, but it’s in this moment, clasping Mark’s hand and seeing the sincerity in Mark’s eyes, that he _realizes_ it as well.

“I know how hard it is,” Mark says, breaking Baekhyun out of his thoughts. “But I also know how magical it can be and that’s why I’m telling you that it’s completely worth it. Every ounce of effort you put in is going to be worth it.”

Baekhyun knows he’s going to have to think through this all again when he gets back to his apartment. For now, though, there are too many ideas and thoughts swirling in his head, so he settles for focusing on Mark’s words, smiling despite his inner turmoil.

“I’ve never talked this much at once before, not even with Jinyoung and Jaebum.” Mark laughs sheepishly and Baekhyun appreciates both the story and the effort to dispel the heavy atmosphere.

“I’ve never talked this little before,” Baekhyun replies, lips quirking. “I like your voice, though, so I wouldn’t mind if you talked more. You’re thoughtful and I appreciate how you indulge me.”

Mark simply smiles shyly.

Later, when they’re back in the office and after they’ve traded numbers, Baekhyun bids Mark goodbye with promises of next time and heads towards his own office.

Baekhyun still doesn’t understand how Sooyoung has an uncanny ability to know when someone steps into the office despite having her back facing the door, but she does. “How did it go?” she wonders before spinning around in her chair.

Humming, Baekhyun takes note that Chanyeol still isn’t back from his lunch date, rolling his eyes a bit to himself because it really is a wonder how Chanyeol keeps his job, fast worker or not.

“It’s a small world,” Baekhyun muses in lieu of a specific answer.

“It’s a smaller world than you think,” Sooyoung agrees. When Baekhyun glances at her, Sooyoung has a soft smile on her face. It prompts Baekhyun to send her a smile of his own.

“Thank you. Really.”

Sooyoung waves him away. “It’s not a problem. I’m glad you have someone who understands you.”

And that, more than anything, is one of the most powerful things anyone can have.

☆ ☆ ☆

Today is the day of the party and Baekhyun feels himself starting to sweat. For a second, Baekhyun blames it on the fact that it’s still summer and the air is a little more humid than normal, but Baekhyun is tired of lying to himself.

He promised himself yesterday that he would talk to Joonmyun today and it’s a bit terrifying.

After listening to Mark’s perspective, Baekhyun thinks he can understand Joonmyun’s position a little more. Of course Joonmyun hasn’t even seen Baekhyun and Kyungsoo together other than that one time near the elevators, so the situations aren’t completely the same. But at least Baekhyun can try and understand how Joonmyun must have felt in that moment after Baekhyun introduced Kyungsoo as his soulmate. If Joonmyun had been feeling anything around Baekhyun like Baekhyun has felt around either of them, then it must have been the biggest slap to the face for Joonmyun to hear something like that.

Maybe this is why Joonmyun hasn’t come to talk to Baekhyun, maybe not. It doesn’t matter, though, because it doesn’t dispel the fact that Joonmyun deserves an explanation.

“Baekhyun-ah! Finally, you’re here. I need you to help me carry some stuff to the kitchen,” Chanyeol says right as Baekhyun walks into their office. Baekhyun blinks, not expecting the sudden request. Chanyeol’s looking at him in anticipation, Baekhyun’s eyes flickering down to the boxes on the floor and back up to Chanyeol before he nods.

“Great! These two by my feet need to go. They aren’t that heavy.” Chanyeol beams, nudging aforementioned boxes with his foot.

Baekhyun huffs. “I’m not that weak, okay.”

Sooyoung snorts from where she’s leaning against her desk. Baekhyun hadn’t even noticed she was in the room. Suspiciously, there aren’t any boxes in her arms and Baekhyun raises an eyebrow. “And why aren’t you carrying anything, princess?”

“I need to make sure the two of you don’t crash into unsuspecting passersby.”

“So you’re a babysitter,” Baekhyun deadpans.

Sooyoung sniffs. “I prefer to say ‘overseer of efficiency and safety,’ but you can call it what you want.”

Groaning, Baekhyun just drops the subject, knowing that he isn’t going to get anywhere. Besides, Chanyeol is still holding his two boxes and waiting for Baekhyun, so the faster he picks the boxes up, the better.

Baekhyun grunts when he lifts the two boxes, dutifully ignoring Sooyoung’s happy cackle in the background.

“Please lead the way before I drop these on Sooyoung’s feet,” Baekhyun says to Chanyeol, smiling when Sooyoung lets out an affronted noise. “You were asking for it,” Baekhyun calls over his shoulder as he follows Chanyeol out the door.

“And you’re asking for a foot kicking out the back of your knee,” Sooyoung hollers, the sound of her heels getting louder and louder as she catches up to them. Baekhyun doesn’t bother turning around to find out how far away she is, simply swerves around Chanyeol with more grace than he thought possible with two large boxes in his hands.

“What the-” Chanyeol starts, stopping short so he doesn’t run into Baekhyun. The boxes in his hands wobble from the motion, but Baekhyun is too busy trying to see around Chanyeol to determine Sooyoung’s position so he doesn’t get hit.

Sooyoung huffs, arms crossed over her chest as she glares at Baekhyun. He simply smiles, flashing his nicest, squarest smile at her.

“Nuisance,” Sooyoung mutters. “This is why you need me to watch over you.”

“I think you’re just making excuses,” Baekhyun sing-songs, laughing as he steps closer to Chanyeol when Sooyoung takes a menacing step forward. “Am I lying?”

Sooyoung huffing is the only answer Baekhyun needs and his smile is cheeky when he peers around Chanyeol.

“Are we...going to continue any time soon? My arms are starting to hurt,” Chanyeol says, and when Baekhyun looks up at him, he’s smiling but Baekhyun can see the wobble in his arms.

“Lead the way!”

Thankfully, Sooyoung doesn’t try anything the rest of the way to the kitchen. Baekhyun’s a bit surprised by that, as well as the fact that no one came out into the hallway from all of the noise, but he doesn’t dwell on it too much.

The next hour is spent organizing the kitchen. Other people wander in from time to time, but then leave fairly quickly with comments of how nice everything is coming along. Baekhyun is, once again, dumbfounded by how much Chanyeol gets done. He had made flyers and gone to every office on the floor to tell everyone about it in the days leading up to the party. Chanyeol could’ve just sent an email instead, but Chanyeol is so outgoing and hardworking when he’s passionate about something that Baekhyun really isn’t surprised he went through all that trouble.

And it’s worth it. By the time eleven rolls around, there are at least ten people in the kitchen area. Baekhyun’s surprised at the turnout already – considering the fact that not many people on this floor know him (and he’s assuming they don’t know much about the new intern, either), it’s odd that so many people came out to congratulate them. But then again, there’s free food and Baekhyun may not be in college anymore, but free food is always the best incentive for all ages. That, and a chance to procrastinate a bit on some of the work they have to do. Chanyeol had informed Baekhyun as they were setting up that Seulgi would be down as well, and if that wasn’t the last excuse Baekhyun needed to enjoy himself and not worry about work, he didn’t know what was. 

Baekhyun meets so many people in such a short amount of time that his head is starting to spin. They’re all nice, congratulating him with a smile that is more fit for friends who have known each other for years instead of some random colleague who got promoted, but Baekhyun doesn’t mind at all. A little while into the party, Baekhyun realizes that sometimes, people are just genuinely nice and that they all were no doubt in his position at one point in time. His smile becomes more bright after that realization, the subtle urge to recoil from a nameless face coming up to him with congratulations on their lips disappearing.

Everyone seems to be having a good time, and there’s been a permanent smile on Baekhyun’s face for a while now, the positive energy clinging to him. He’s yet to meet the new intern, but he figures they still have time.

“Baekhyun!” a familiar voice calls out. When Baekhyun turns, he’s met with Seulgi’s smiling face and she pulls him into a hug before he knows what’s happening.

“O-oh, hello,” Baekhyun responds. His hands hang limply at his sides, unsure what to do with them.

Seulgi laughs near his ear. “Have you never hugged someone before, Baekhyun?”

“I-I, no of course I have.” Someone like Baekhyun, who literally needs physical contact to survive, has definitely been on the receiving end of a hug before. It’s just never been his _boss_.

“Just because I’m the boss doesn’t mean I should have to do everything around here,” Seulgi jokes. In Baekhyun’s confusion, Seulgi grabs onto his arms and wraps them around her own waist. “There, that’s how you hug someone.”

Stunned, Baekhyun can only laugh, squeezing just a little bit to let Seulgi know that he got her point.

They talk for a little while before Seulgi leaves with another hug after she spots someone else in the crowd. Baekhyun is entirely amused when Seulgi walks up to Chanyeol, for Chanyeol’s eyes go wide and he trips over himself to get a bow in.

Suddenly, there’s a shout from somewhere behind Baekhyun and his eyes go wide as he turns around. There’s a small crowd that has formed and Baekhyun can’t see much, but he thinks that he can make out a figure lying on the ground.

Before Baekhyun can rush over to possibly help, there’s another person - a male - with a hand pressing against his ribs attempting to squeeze through the crowd. He’s limping a bit, lip bitten in concentration as he tries to breach the circle but no one is moving.

“Excuse me,” Baekhyun hollers, not fully knowing what he’s doing until he’s behind the man who is hunched over, placing a hand on his back to steady him, “please let this man through.”

The crowd parts easily, then, and the male shoots him a small smile even though the movement causes him to wince a bit.

Now that Baekhyun’s closer, he’s able to look at the person on the floor. It’s a male as well, and he’s panting while holding onto his left wrist. His light red hair falls into his eyes, but Baekhyun can still tell that his face is scrunched up from the set of his jaw.

It doesn’t take much more for Baekhyun to figure out what’s happening. He just witnessed two soulmates finding each other.

It’s like slow motion the way he watches the male clutching his ribs stop in front of the one on the floor. He barely hears their introductions, the names “Hoseok” and “Kihyun” going in one ear and out the other.

Everyone starts clapping once they hug each other and Baekhyun wants to feel happy as well, wants to congratulate them on such an important life event, but he just can’t. Baekhyun selfishly only feels sadness, mind transporting back two years ago when that was him, when _he_ had a soulmate to call his own. These two just found each other and Baekhyun has never felt so disconnected from an event before, the knowledge that he has two soulmates but isn’t talking to either of them weighing him down.

Speaking of soulmates, Baekhyun hasn’t seen Joonmyun at all. Baekhyun’s heart sinks, thinking that maybe Joonmyun didn’t come at all.

Looking at how happy Hoseok and Kihyun already seem, Baekhyun knows that he could have that again, too. When Baekhyun turns away, stomach rolling in jealousy and sadness, he freezes when he makes eye contact with a familiar face across the room. He could identify that blond hair and face anywhere.

Joonmyun looks even more beautiful than Baekhyun remembers, his hair soft as it slightly falls into his eyes, lips a pretty pink, and eyes warm. It isn’t the look that Baekhyun had been expecting, certainly not when it’s aimed at him. At first, Baekhyun thinks that Joonmyun is staring at the new couple on the floor, but his eyes are level with Baekhyun’s and not trained towards the ground. This is it, this is his chance to get his shit together and fix the gap he’s created between them.

Slowly, Baekhyun takes a breath and steps towards Joonmyun. He keeps standing there, the tiny twitch of his lips the only indication that he has acknowledged Baekhyun’s movement. Hope starts to sprout in Baekhyun’s chest, hope that maybe Joonmyun doesn’t hate him entirely after all.

“Hi,” Baekhyun breathes once he’s within hearing range.

There’s a soft smile on Joonmyun’s face. “Hi, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun shivers, can’t help the reaction of his name coming from Joonmyun’s lips. It’s been entirely too long since he’s heard it and he misses it, he misses it so much. He misses everything about Joonmyun, the way he laughs, the way he smiles, the way he indulges Baekhyun, the way he drives as he takes Baekhyun to lunch. Baekhyun misses so much, he aches with it. He can’t help his reaction, pulling Joonmyun into his arms and burying his face into Joonmyun’s shoulder.

Joonmyun clearly isn’t expecting it, a little gasp escaping his lips at the contact. Baekhyun panics for a split second – this is the first time they’ve hugged and it had been quite sudden, what if Joonmyun doesn’t like physical contact? – but the tension drains from him when Joonmyun returns the hug. Baekhyun feels so warm in Joonmyun’s arms, and he can already tell that he’s not going to want to let go soon, if ever.

They still need to talk, but for now, this is enough for Baekhyun.

☆ ☆ ☆

This is the fifth time that the same guy has passed by their door in ten minutes. Normally Baekhyun doesn’t pay attention to the hallway, long since accustomed to not letting his eyes wander every single time he sees something out of the corner of his eye. It’s normal for people to be walking around, either to go to a meeting, to lunch, to drop something off, anything. But what isn’t normal is the same person slowly walking by their door over and over, looking like he’s waiting for something.

Baekhyun finally looks over to see the guy’s back as he passes their doorway for the umpteenth time. Baekhyun doesn’t recognize him, so if whoever this guy is set up a meeting place outside of their office space, it would be kind of odd. He’s just about to go back to his work, thinking that maybe that was the last time the guy would walk by, when he passes by _again_. Their eyes meet through the open frame, Baekhyun’s eyes widening in recognition. This is the guy who met his soulmate at the party they had last week. Sure, Baekhyun hadn’t seen much of his face, Kihyun too busy with meeting his soulmate and Baekhyun too busy somewhat reconciling with his own, but the shade of light red hair isn’t something he sees everyday.

It’s kind of cute how Kihyun stands there, eyes wide and frozen. He actually flinches when Baekhyun moves to wave him in, but Kihyun follows the silent offer anyways.

Baekhyun makes sure to smile his best smile, the one that isn’t too square since Yixing had told him that one is a little scary. “Hi. Kihyun right?”

“R-right,” Kihyun stutters, cheeks turning a light red.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“Ah.” Kihyun scratches the back of his neck, eyes flickering around before landing on Baekhyun again. Scratch Kihyun being kind of cute – he’s _adorable_. “Not really? It’s just that Hoseok told me you were the last intern and I was wondering if you had any tips? I feel a bit lost, to be honest.”

The puzzle pieces come together then, Baekhyun exclaiming, “Oh! You’re the new intern!”

Baekhyun had never met the new intern at the party, too busy talking with Joonmyun for the rest of the time. It’s almost laughable that Kihyun is the new intern, for Baekhyun had, in a way, met him.

Kihyun smiles and it kind of reminds Baekhyun of sunshine. “That’s me.”

“Come in, come in,” Baekhyun says quickly. He knows how scary it can be on the first week – hell, even now Baekhyun has this spike of fear that he’s going to fuck up any day now, but Sooyoung had told him once to be confident in his skills, and it’s something that he likes to think about whenever he gets down. If he can do the same for Kihyun, if he can mollify his worries even a little bit, Baekhyun is be more than happy to help.

They spend the rest of the day going over certain things. Sooyoung and Chanyeol come back less than an hour after Kihyun arrives, bickering over something or another and Kihyun goes adorably wide-eyed as they don’t even spare him a glance, just continue bickering as if no one else is there. It takes Baekhyun clearing his throat and then a loud, “Yah!” when the previous attempt at gaining their attention doesn’t work.

“I know you’re always this rude, but can you at least tone it down enough to introduce yourselves?” Baekhyun asks in amusement.

They both blink and it’s a bit scary how they look at Kihyun at the exact same time. If Baekhyun didn’t know they already had soulmates, he would think they were each other’s with how in sync they could be sometimes.

Things are easy after that, Baekhyun continuing to explain things to Kihyun with the occasional comment from Sooyoung about Baekhyun’s intelligence, or lack thereof.

“Ignore her,” Baekhyun says easily. “It’s what I do.”

Kihyun doesn’t looked sure, but when Sooyoung lets out an indignant noise, Kihyun laughs before he can stop himself.

Baekhyun beams. “You learn quickly.”

☆ ☆ ☆

Baekhyun is a nervous wreck. It’s stupid, really, since he’s gone to get lunch with Joonmyun so many times in the past, but Baekhyun knows that this time isn’t like all of the other times. This time, Baekhyun has the knowledge that they’re soulmates lingering around in his head, prodding him every few seconds to make sure he doesn’t forget. Not that he _could_ forget something like that.

He still hasn’t told Joonmyun yet; something keeps holding him back. Whether it’s the crushing fear of rejection or the pitiful lack of strength to say something, Baekhyun doesn’t know. It’s probably both to a degree.

Baekhyun’s nervous energy ends up causing him to pace in front of their office doorway. He knows he looks pretty stupid, but he honestly couldn’t stand to sit any longer. Thankfully, or not thankfully depending on how one looks at it, Joonmyun calls him name soon enough, a beautiful smile on his face when Baekhyun looks up.

“Are you ready to go?” Joonmyun looks absolutely radiant as he walks over and Baekhyun almost feels blinded.

He isn’t ready in the slightest, but he’s not about to chicken out now, not when he has made it this far. And it’s far in the metaphorical sense, Baekhyun finally on speaking terms with one of his soulmates after almost a month of no contact with either.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun replies, hoping his smile isn’t as shaky as it feels.

It must be okay, or Joonmyun must ignore it if it isn’t, for Joonmyun smiles wider, if possible, and then turns to head towards the elevators.

“Are we walking or driving today?” Baekhyun wonders. It doesn’t really matter to him, but Baekhyun feels the usual need to fill the silence.

Joonmyun hums. “Driving. I’m feeling a bit lazy today.”

Baekhyun laughs. “Join the club.”

“I would rather not, thank you.”

“Why not?” Baekhyun whines. “It’s kind of fun, doing nothing.”

“But walking is free and gas costs money,” Joonmyun points out.

The elevator dings just as Baekhyun is about to respond, and they step out into the parking garage, easily falling into step. “So everything is about money,” Baekhyun teases.

“Of course,” Joonmyun responds with a blank face. Baekhyun blinks, not having expected such a response. But then Joonmyun is sputtering out a laugh. Baekhyun blinks again. “You should’ve seen your face!”

“My face is perfectly fine,” Baekhyun sniffs. Internally, his heart is beating at a rapid pace and he hopes he’s inconspicuous when he raises a hand to press down on his chest in the hope that it will help slow the beating. It doesn’t, Baekhyun frowning down at the general area of his heart before dropping his hand lest Joonmyun notices and thinks he’s weirder than he already is.

“Sure it is.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun cries. “I take offense to that!”

Joonmyun raises a bemused eyebrow. “Do you now?”

“Yes, I do. But if you don’t find my face cute, you _have_ to at least find my hips nice,” Baekhyun counters. No one has ever been immune to his hips. They’re works of art and Baekhyun knows it.

Joonmyun casts a look over at Baekhyun, eyes lingering on his pelvic area a little more than necessary, before looking into Baekhyun’s eyes. Baekhyun stumbles at the intensity of the stare, but he can’t look away. “Okay,” Joonmyun eventually says. “They’re pretty nice.”

Baekhyun lets out a non-human sound, some odd mix between a happy cat and a distressed whale. Joonmyun turns towards his car, then, but not before Baekhyun sees the amused smile he lets slip. Baekhyun makes the noise again. He’s happy that Joonmyun is teasing him, but he’s distressed because of the dark look in Joonmyun’s eyes.

“Are you coming?” Joonmyun calls. Baekhyun startles, only then noticing that Joonmyun is standing next to his car, passenger door open and waiting for Baekhyun to climb in.

Baekhyun walks quickly, flushing when Joonmyun closes the door behind him like a gentleman before heading over to the driver’s side.

Being with Joonmyun is so comfortable. Baekhyun doesn’t know how he’s lived without Joonmyun’s company for this long. Having lunch with Joonmyun had become part of his weekly routine and then to suddenly have it all halt had been more painful than anticipated. He’s here now, though, and that’s what matters.

☆ ☆ ☆

It’s now been a few weeks since the party and Baekhyun has a little spring in his step as he walks to the elevator after parking his car. He has another lunch date with Joonmyun today and the giddiness of that fact overshadows the guilty rolling of Baekhyun’s stomach. He still hasn’t told Joonmyun anything yet, but his life is finally starting to look up again and he doesn’t want it to all come crumbling down so soon.

Seungwan smiles at him as he steps out of the elevator, Baekhyun reciprocating with a smile of his own and a, “Hi!”

When Baekhyun turns into his office, he stops short when he sees a head of silver hair on the person sitting in Chanyeol’s seat. Baekhyun had always joked that Chanyeol couldn’t possibly do his job properly while being away as often as he is, but Chanyeol was always so _efficient_. Baekhyun never thought he would see the day Chanyeol was replaced, but it seems the day has come.

“You okay, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun turns towards Sooyoung, a frown no-doubt on his face. “I was, but...” He doesn’t continue, not wanting to be rude to their new officemate.

“Are you sad again, Baekhyunnie?”

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun blurts out. That had certainly _sounded_ like Chanyeol’s voice from the general vicinity of Chanyeol’s old chair, but that can’t be right.

Baekhyun looks back over, only for his mouth to fall open in confusion. Staring back at him is Chanyeol, a concerned frown pulling his lips down.

“Your hair!” Baekhyun cries.

Chanyeol’s face smoothes out then, and it’s a mix of disgruntled and sheepish.

“I lost a bet,” he grumbles.

“A bet,” Baekhyun starts slowly. The reason he had a mini-panic attack at the thought of Chanyeol getting fired was a bet. Unbelievable.

“Yifan is savage when he wants to be,” is all that Chanyeol elaborates with. When it seems Chanyeol isn’t going to say anything else, Baekhyun simply accepts it with a shrug and heads to his desk.

“You thought Chanyeol oppa got fired didn’t you?”

“Did not!” Baekhyun replies immediately. Sooyoung cackles, Baekhyun’s cheeks heating up in embarrassment the longer she keeps laughing.

“Oh,” Chanyeol says, dragging the word out as understanding dawns on him. “Sorry, Baekhyunnie, you can’t get rid of me that easily!”

“Should I tell Yifan hyung that?” a new voice chirps by their doorway and people _really_ need to stop appearing out of nowhere and scaring Baekhyun. Even though Baekhyun can recognize Joonmyun’s voice easily, he still doesn’t appreciate the surprise and resulting jolt of Baekhyun’s heart each time it happens.

Joonmyun looks handsome today, the light blue button-up he’s wearing clinging to his chest. The fabric shifts as Joonmyun leans against the doorframe and Baekhyun can’t stop staring.

“No!” Chanyeol exclaims.

“Are you sure?”

“Hyung!” Chanyeol is pouting now. Joonmyun simply laughs and Baekhyun really likes his laugh and how his eyes curve with his mirth.

“I’m kidding,” Joonmyun answers. Then he turns towards Baekhyun, brilliant smile and all. “If Chanyeol keeps bothering you, let me know.”

Chanyeol squawks out another “Hyung!” while Joonmyun bursts out laughing at Chanyeol’s affronted expression. Baekhyun finds himself laughing along.

“Okay, hyung, I will.”

Joonmyun winks at Baekhyun and his heart beats with affection for the man in front of him.

☆ ☆ ☆

_You better be ready soon! No more bailing on me!_

Baekhyun rolls his eyes at his phone, but he feels a smile starting to form. It’s been a while since he’s seen Yixing, but it’s not his fault that the one time Yixing wanted to come over, he had already had plans to meet Amber and Henry. Of course, Baekhyun still remembers his promise to have them all meet-up, but his neighbors had been due to come over within ten minutes and Yixing lived too far for him to make it in that timeframe.

Amber had been hilarious, all playful expressions and a no-nonsense way of speaking that Baekhyun really enjoyed. It’s rare to meet someone like Amber, who doesn’t really have a problem with saying what she wants to say, but who still knows when to hold back and think her words through.

This time, Yixing is the one coming over, but his neighbors are the ones who aren’t in their apartment. Baekhyun had asked them after Yixing had texted him, whining at Baekhyun that they hadn’t spent time together in so long. It was just unfortunate that they were going to a wedding for one of their friends a few cities over.

_No one is coming today but you >.>_

Baekhyun sets his phone down on his stomach once he finishes sending his message, eyes focusing back on his tiny television. He’s not really into the show, probably couldn’t tell anyone what was going on if they asked, but he had needed to find a way to kill the time before Yixing came over. 

When his phone vibrates again, Baekhyun’s caught off guard, wiggling when the device moves on his stomach. 

Baekhyun actually laughs at the message Yixing sends back, warmth filling his chest at how it’s like he and Yixing never stopped talking, no matter how brief the period of time was. 

_Yay! I get your attention all to myself :p_

_I’m all yours~_

Baekhyun chuckles again, missing his interactions with Yixing. Every so often, they fall into talking to each other like _they’re_ soulmates, teasing and sending messages that sound almost sexual in nature. Baekhyun misses this, misses simply talking to Yixing. It really has been too long since he’s talked to his best friend. 

Someone knocks on the door a little later, Baekhyun springing up and rushing to the door. Yixing’s smiling face is the first thing he sees when he opens the door and Baekhyun can’t help himself, launching into Yixing’s arms with a yell. 

They almost go tumbling over, but Yixing thankfully manages to catch his balance in time, since Baekhyun proves to be completely useless as he clings to Yixing with everything he has in his tiny body. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed Yixing until now, and he nuzzles his head against Yixing’s neck out of the sheer need to be closer. 

Yixing pats Baekhyun on the butt with a laugh. “I’ve missed you, too, but did you really need to jump me? I don’t think I would have liked landing on the floor with you on top of me.” 

“Are you saying that you don’t enjoy me being on top of you?” Baekhyun asks cheekily. 

Yixing shivers due to the burst of air against his neck from Baekhyun’s words. “Not unless we’re napping.” 

Baekhyun pouts, but relents. He doesn’t let go of Yixing, though, forcing them to waddle back into Baekhyun’s apartment and to the couch. 

Sighing once they sit down, Baekhyun rests his head on Yixing’s shoulder. The familiarity of the move calms Baekhyun, has his heart beating out a pattern that is reminiscent of being on the precipice of sleep. 

“I miss you,” Baekhyun whispers, half of the words garbled due to his current position with his face in Yixing’s neck. 

Yixing scrunches his shoulder, muttering, “You really need to stop doing that.” But his hand is soft when he links fingers with Baekhyun, voice even softer when he says, “I miss you, too. This yearly meet-up is definitely not enough now that we don’t see each other once a week like we did in college.” 

Baekhyun agrees by nuzzling closer, knowing that Yixing will understand what he’s trying to say. 

It’s easy to fall back into the normal pattern with Yixing, the two of them talking about what’s been going on since they graduated, where they live, what jobs they have, who they keep in contact with. 

Eventually, the topic changes to their soulmates. Baekhyun learns that Yixing and Sehun aren’t living together, but that they’re planning on it after Sehun graduates. Baekhyun had actually forgotten that Sehun was still in university; they hung out so often that, at some point, Baekhyun starting unconsciously including Sehun in their age group. Yixing laughs at his expression at that moment, poking Baekhyun on the forehead and affectionately calling him an idiot. 

“Leave me alone,” Baekhyun whines, purposely ghosting the words across Yixing’s neck. 

“You’re the worst!” Yixing cries as he fights his way out of Baekhyun’s hold, but Baekhyun is strong for someone his size and Yixing only wiggles away enough to lightly jab Baekhyun in the stomach before they resume their previous position. 

It’s comfortably quiet after that. But all good things must come to an end, and Yixing asks the question that Baekhyun has been dreading ever since they got onto the soulmate topic. 

“How have you and Kyungsoo be doing? Is he out right now or something?” 

Baekhyun stiffens, hoping that Yixing doesn’t notice, but of _course_ Yixing notices his split-second of panic. Yixing has always been able to ascertain his moods from body language alone, and even though they haven’t seen each other in months, that doesn’t mean years of understanding each other has changed. 

Yixing starts to pull away, but Baekhyun doesn’t want him to go far, wants to stay in the comfort that only Yixing can provide. Baekhyun’s defenses are down, though, making it simple for Yixing to break his hold. 

“Baekhyun?” 

Baekhyun stiffens, knowing that he’s really stuck this time. Yixing is using that _tone_ , the one he only reserves for times where he’s worried with a twinge steel laced in. It’s one of the rare times that Yixing is completely serious and Baekhyun just knows he’s about to get some sense knocked into him. 

“He’s not...living here. I know you’ve noticed the distinct lack of someone else living here,” Baekhyun mutters. He keeps his eyes downcast, not quite ready to look at Yixing. 

Yixing sighs and it sounds exactly like when he was berating Baekhyun last year about being the only one trying in his relationship with Kyungsoo. Baekhyun really doesn’t want to fight like they had last time, because even though they made up, Baekhyun always hates fighting with people or making them upset in any way. 

“It’s a long story, Xing,” Baekhyun adds before Yixing can say anything, a feeble attempt at putting off the inevitable. Honestly, Baekhyun would love to talk to someone about it, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so, and Baekhyun doesn’t understand why he’s not jumping on it. Maybe it’s the residual sorrow clinging to him from his talk with Kyungsoo all of those months ago (damn, has it really been that long?) or maybe it’s the still-present tiredness from his situation in general despite how things are finally starting to come together. 

Yixing calls his name again and that must be the magic word because Baekhyun breaks, the words flowing out like a broken dam and he’s helpless to stop it. He thankfully doesn’t cry from recounting how he can still sometimes see Kyungsoo walking away from him so clearly in his dreams or from just letting it all out, but Baekhyun can already feel a headache start to form from the effort of holding the tears back. 

Yixing’s quiet once Baekhyun quiets down. He doesn’t say anything, simply curls Baekhyun into his side and tucks Baekhyun’s head under his chin while he hums a song and laces their fingers together. 

“I’m sorry this is so difficult for you, Baekhyunnie,” Yixing murmurs after a few minutes of them sitting there, Baekhyun having been lulled into a sense of security from Yixing’s steady heartbeat. Baekhyun doesn’t say it nearly as often as he should, but he appreciates Yixing so, so much, how Yixing simply _gets_ him. 

“Isn’t this soulmate business supposed to be easy?” Baekhyun wonders. He curls into Yixing’s side a bit more, sighing in content when Yixing squeezes his hand. 

“Nothing in the world is ever easy. We wouldn’t grow if that was true.” 

“Not even when it comes to being with someone we’re made to be with?” 

Yixing rubs tiny circles onto Baekhyun’s fingers, Yixing’s sigh mussing up Baekhyun’s hair. “No, Baekhyunnie, not even with that.” 

Baekhyun responds by closing his eyes, a tear finally making its way down his cheek. 

☆ ☆ ☆

“Thank you for taking me out to dinner!” Baekhyun chirps. There’s been a smile on his face all day, ever since he woke up and looked at the date and realized that it was the day he was going to eat dinner with Joonmyun.

After his visit from Yixing last week, Baekhyun had been upset for a while, but then Joonmyun had kept stopping by their office and their old pattern had started to pick up again until Baekhyun forgot all about his lingering sadness. Just because Kyungsoo doesn’t want to deal with this soulmate thing doesn’t mean that Joonmyun won’t, which is even more obvious with how Joonmyun has always been open about going to eat lunch with Baekhyun or simply talking to him. It feels nice to be wanted for a change, to be able to look at someone and realize that they don’t mind hanging out with you. A little part of Baekhyun feels guilty for pushing thoughts of Kyungsoo aside, but Baekhyun deserves to have something nice in life and Joonmyun is that something.

Joonmyun smiles and it’s even brighter than the stars that Baekhyun can’t see in the sky. “I’m glad, I had a really nice time as well.”

“Even despite the mishap?” Baekhyun teases. He laughs with glee when Joonmyun’s cheeks flush and he looks to the ground. This is truly the happiest Baekhyun has felt in a very long time and he never wants to let this feeling go.

“I’m clumsy, I know,” Joonmyun replies, cheeks still adorably tinted.

Baekhyun chuckles, softer this time. “Like I said, it’s okay. I didn’t get hit with anything, but even if I had, it still would’ve been fine.”

It had definitely been a shock when Joonmyun had knocked over the water glass in front of Baekhyun when reaching for his menu, but the water hadn’t landed in Baekhyun’s lap, and it had been adorable watching Joonmyun become flustered.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Baekhyun reaffirms for quite possibly the fifth time. “At least this way I won’t forget tonight right?”

“Cheeky,” Joonmyun grumbles and it elicits a laugh from Baekhyun.

“Byun Baekhyun at your service.” He even bows for good measure, pleased when Joonmyun laughs at his silly antics.

They become quiet after that, Baekhyun simply taking in how handsome Joonmyun looks, even under the crappy streetlight. He doesn’t want this moment to end, but it’s late and he knows that Joonmyun still has to drive home. With a small sigh, Baekhyun says, “Thank you again. We should do this another time.”

“Of course!” Joonmyun blurts out and Baekhyun can’t help but chuckle again. This is a whole new side of Joonmyun that Baekhyun hasn’t seen before and Baekhyun can’t help but think that everything about Joonmyun is adorable.

“See you Monday then?” Baekhyun ventures.

Joonmyun nods. Baekhyun is ready to turn with a wave when Joonmyun steps forward and tentatively wraps Baekhyun in a hug. Baekhyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t surprised, but he’s never one to turn down shows of affection, only pausing for half a second before he puts his arms around Joonmyun’s waist. Despite being so small, Baekhyun can feel the shift of Joonmyun’s muscles under his shirt and the way the front part of Joonmyun’s shirt is just tight enough for Baekhyun to feel definition when they press closer. It has Baekhyun shivering and it has nothing to do with the chilly night air.

“I’ll stop by Monday morning,” Joonmyun promises and then he’s pulling back with a smile.

Baekhyun waves until Joonmyun has disappeared to where he parked his car earlier. He turns back towards his building entrance when a flash of light catches his eye. Baekhyun has always been easily distracted, every shiny object demanding his attention, and now is no different, except Baekhyun’s breath hitches when he notices where the flash had come from.

It’s a bit difficult to see, since the light is completely awful and the car is black, but something pulls at Baekhyun’s memory, his heart reacting at a faster pace and beating away against his chest. There’s absolutely no way that Kyungsoo would be visiting him now, and at this time after all these weeks no less.

Except it _is_ Kyungsoo, Baekhyun freezing on his place on the sidewalk as Kyungsoo angrily stalks up to him.

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo asks, not even bothering to conceal his anger.

Baekhyun can’t help but blink. “I could ask you the same thing?”

He really has no idea why Kyungsoo is here, or more importantly why Kyungsoo is so _angry_. An indignant part of Baekhyun thinks that Kyungsoo has no right to be angry, since he was the one who had up and left Baekhyun in the cold and hadn’t attempted to talk to him since.

Kyungsoo seems to come back to himself a bit at that, but his shoulders are still set and his lips are set into a thin line. It’s not an expression that Baekhyun thinks he’s ever seen on Kyungsoo before and maybe under other circumstances, Baekhyun would find his anger hot. But now, as Baekhyun notices Joonmyun's blond hair finally disappear around the corner from the corner of his eye, and Kyungsoo pressing into his space as much as he possibly can, Baekhyun only feels confusion and a hint of anger himself. He doesn’t deserve to be accosted like this. Baekhyun just had a wonderful day, and while seeing Kyungsoo has his heart singing in a way that it hasn’t done in a while, Baekhyun can’t really appreciate Kyungsoo’s handsome face like he would prefer to.

“What were you doing with him?” Kyungsoo asks instead.

Something goes off inside Baekhyun’s brain, features morphing into shock before becoming neutral again. “I went out to eat with Joonmyun. He actually likes my company.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say more than that, doesn’t say the “unlike you” that he wants to finish with, but it seems that Kyungsoo read through the lines and figured it out if the furrowing of his eyebrows is any indication.

“Why?” Kyungsoo presses.

Baekhyun’s starting to become more annoyed now, the surprise of seeing his soulmate washing away to leave a fire burning through his system that he’s fighting to put out. It never does well to be angry, and he knows that the longer the fire burns, the more likely it is that he’s going to say something he doesn’t mean, but it’s getting difficult. Baekhyun doesn’t answer, instead asks a question of his own. “How do you even know where I live?”

Baekhyun knows that there’s no way Kyungsoo should know where he’s living now, unless he went to Baekhyun’s house and asked his parents where Baekhyun was. It’s highly unlikely, given how much Kyungsoo seems to steer clear from anything that involves parental figures, so it doesn’t make sense.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kyungsoo replies.

“It kind of does?” Baekhyun says, but it comes out more like a question. “I like to think that I have some semblance of privacy, but it seems like I don’t.”

Kyungsoo sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look, that’s really not the point here. Why did you think that eating with Joonmyun was a good idea? How could you-”

Kyungsoo cuts himself off, then, but Baekhyun picks up where he left off easily. “How could I what, Kyungsoo? How could I be happy?”

It’s cruel, but Baekhyun isn’t feeling particularly charitable at the moment. His senses come back to him at Kyungsoo’s stunned expression, though, and he notices that they’re standing out on the sidewalk in front of Baekhyun’s apartment complex. Baekhyun would rather not be having this conversation at all, but it seems that Kyungsoo is intent on having it. Kyungsoo came for a reason, and even if that reason was to come yell at Baekhyun, Baekhyun would at least have it happen in his apartment.

Before Kyungsoo has the chance to respond, Baekhyun says, “Let’s finish this inside. I would rather not have the whole complex or other strangers hearing this.”

Kyungsoo comes back to himself for a second, expression dropping and leaving one of indifference behind. “Alright.”

The walk to Baekhyun’s apartment is tense, the only saving grace being that Baekhyun lives on the first floor. Then again, that means he’s going to have to face Kyungsoo sooner rather than later, but at this point, Baekhyun is tired and he doesn’t want to drag this out any longer.

So that’s why, when Baekhyun closes the door behind the both of them, he squares his shoulders and turns to Kyungsoo with determination. Baekhyun can see the shield that Kyungsoo has put up, akin to the one that he had when they had first met. The words slip out before he has time to think about them.

“What is it Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asks. He’s so tired of being yelled at, of being shut out, of trying to make something in his life _work_. “You haven’t talked to me in two months. Was I just supposed to wait around for you when I knew there was a chance you might not come back? I deserve to be happy, too, and if I can’t find it with you, I have to try somewhere else.”

And that must strike a chord within Kyungsoo because he freezes, and he looks so vulnerable that Baekhyun’s anger melts away to make way for concern. Because even at times like this, after all the time he’s been waiting and crying, he still cares for Kyungsoo a lot, could’ve been in love with him by now had Kyungsoo not cut off all contact.

“That’s what my mom said before she remarried.”

Kyungsoo says it so quietly, like he either hadn’t meant to say it or like he had meant it but still had his shield down long enough for genuine pain to slip through. Baekhyun almost doesn’t catch it, but even though Baekhyun hasn’t talked to Kyungsoo in close to two months, he still recognizes Kyungsoo’s habits and mannerisms, including his propensity to speak lowly when he isn’t able to consciously control his emotions.

Stunned, Baekhyun asks, “What?”

“I- my mom- she- when I was little-”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Baekhyun points out as gently as he can. This is obviously what has been holding Kyungsoo back all this time, and Baekhyun would be lying if he said he doesn’t want to know. But no matter what, Baekhyun wants Kyungsoo to be comfortable and do things because he wants to, not because he thinks it’s expected of him. He doesn’t want to force Kyungsoo, especially if he’s going to regret saying it in the first place, weighed down by emotions that are too strong to hold back.

“I- no- I-”

Baekhyun has never seen Kyungsoo so flustered. It would be amusing under other circumstances, but all Baekhyun feels right now is concern. It’s like the past two months didn’t happen at all, and Baekhyun can’t help but feel a pang of sadness seeing the slump to Kyungsoo’s shoulders.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what happens in those few seconds, but Kyungsoo looks up and into Baekhyun’s eyes with such determination that Baekhyun feels as if he can’t breathe. “No, I want to tell you. It’s part of what I initially came here for.”

Kyungsoo inhales deeply, closing his eyes. Baekhyun just waits, knowing that this can’t be easy for Kyungsoo.

Once he seems to gather himself, he opens his eyes again, but doesn’t quite meet Baekhyun’s gaze, instead focusing on his forehead or chin, but Baekhyun couldn’t care less. He tells Baekhyun about how his father had died when he was little, how his mom had been alone for a few years before meeting another man who had also lost his soulmate years prior. Kyungsoo’s expression shifts from one of sorrow to anger, then, his eyes hardening and fists clenching. He practically spits out how he had disliked how his mother could simply forget his father like he was nothing.

“I still hate it,” Kyungsoo says. His chest is moving up and down at a pace much faster than normal, his hands still clenched by his side. Baekhyun waits to see if he has anything else to say, but it doesn’t seems like Kyungsoo intends to share more information than that. Baekhyun looks at Kyungsoo, really looks, and he thinks that maybe he can see where Kyungsoo is coming from. It’s not a lot of understanding, though, since Baekhyun came from a family that was rarely less than perfect. He doesn’t know Kyungsoo’s pain, never will. But he can at least empathize and attempt to understand Kyungsoo’s position more.

“So don’t you see why I don’t like this arrangement?” Kyungsoo asks, almost pleads. Baekhyun looks over sharply, notices that Kyungsoo doesn't look as angry anymore, but more subdued, the set of his shoulders clueing Baekhyun in on a bit of his current emotions.

Baekhyun tries not to get angry, he really does, but the flames of anger that had whittled down earlier flare back up again.

“It’s not about what you want, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun had figured that out a while ago and he’s learned to deal with it. “We all have to make the best of every situation.”

And it’s like a flip is switched off inside Kyungsoo. Baekhyun can physically see him shutting down again.

“I don’t _have_ to do anything,” Kyungsoo says, and if Baekhyun wasn’t so angry, if he didn’t have so much adrenaline pumping through his body, he would’ve flinched at how utterly cold Kyungsoo’s tone is. “I’m a free person just like you are. We may be bound by the ink on our skin, but it will _always_ be a conscious effort between those involved. I’m sorry that you don’t see it that way, and it doesn’t seem like anything either of us will say will change our minds. I’m not going to stay if I’m just going to end up more angry. So good night, Baekhyun."

And the way Kyungsoo says his name is so drastically different from all of the other times Kyungsoo has said it. It’s completely different from his teasing when Baekhyun wakes up late, from his faux anger when Baekhyun shoves his feet in Kyungsoo’s lap, from his surprise when he calls Kyungsoo randomly. As it is, though, Baekhyun doesn’t notice it, can only stand there, gritting his teeth and cutting crescents into his palms, as he watches Kyungsoo leave despite part of him yearning - _clawing_ \- at him to go after Kyungsoo. But Kyungsoo was right when he said their minds wouldn’t change and he doesn’t want to change his again as a result of an unconscious effort to bend over backwards to make his soulmate happy. Baekhyun’s already thought about everything, how he feels, and what he wishes would happen, to change it now. Based on Kyungsoo’s outburst, it doesn’t seem like Kyungsoo had thought about it as much as Baekhyun had, had simply thought that him telling Baekhyun his story would be enough. But that’s not fair to Joonmyun, and Kyungsoo should have recognized that.

Sighing heavily, Baekhyun leans against the wall, wondering why life couldn’t have gone easy on him, on them.

☆ ☆ ☆

Miraculously, Baekhyun only cries once the entire weekend. It had hit so suddenly, Baekhyun staring down at his bowl of noodles before his hands started shaking, noodles slipping and chopsticks clanging against the bowl before he realized what was happening. It had only taken ten minutes for Baekhyun to get himself together and take an Advil for the headache that had already started to form, but Baekhyun still feels the phantom ache in his chest as he rolls out of bed on Monday.

He knows he looks awful, but he had tried his best to conceal it as much as he could this morning. 

Sighing, Baekhyun tucks his keys into his pocket after locking his car. It’s going to be a long day. He had thought that days like this would be far and few in between, but one visit from Kyungsoo and he’s breaking down again. It’s funny how much pull Kyungsoo has on his emotions, but with the way that Baekhyun feels about Kyungsoo, it’s not really surprising. Kyungsoo is his soulmate, and Baekhyun had been very close to being in love with him. And although they aren’t on speaking terms, Baekhyun can’t erase what they had from his memories, not that he would want to anyways. The two years he spent with Kyungsoo were amazing, and hopefully they will patch things up so it can be more than two years, but at this point, Baekhyun is terrifyingly unsure about the future.

“Morning!” Sooyoung chirps from her desk just as Baekhyun walks through the door.

“Do you have a Baekhyun detector or something?” Baekhyun wonders. No matter how quietly Baekhyun walks, Sooyoung always manages to know when he’s in the room despite having her back towards the door.

Sooyoung laughs, but doesn’t bother turning around from her computer. Good, because Baekhyun really isn’t up for an interrogation. “You wish. You just walk so loudly, I can hear you from downstairs.”

“Please,” Baekhyun is quick to refute. “It seems like you’re just waiting for me to show up. Do I brighten up your day that much?”

Sooyoung snorts. “Don’t give yourself too much credit.”

“Whatever you say.” Baekhyun feels a bit better at least, his mood lifting from the usual teasing that he and Sooyoung share. Letting out a breath, Baekhyun sets his stuff down before sitting in his chair and booting his computer up. The knot in his chest unfurls a little, ease settling into his system as he focuses on his work instead of Kyungsoo. Baekhyun would’ve hoped that, after all this time, he would be more desensitized to the sadness that always seems to cling to him, but one conversation with Kyungsoo and he’s breaking down again. Baekhyun only hopes that this doesn’t keep happening.

Sometime during the day, Joonmyun stops by. Baekhyun feels bad – his answers had been short and not as cheery as he knows they usually would be, but seeing Joonmyun reminds him of Friday. It’s unfortunate that, instead of memories of their dinner together, Baekhyun thinks of Kyungsoo’s scathing words and even harsher expressions. If Joonmyun notices, he doesn’t say anything, simply leaves after ruffling Chanyeol’s hair once Chanyeol complains that Joonmyun is playing favorites.

After Joonmyun disappears, Baekhyun swears he feels Sooyoung’s stare on his back, but he doesn’t dare turn around. Luckily, Sooyoung doesn’t say anything, but Baekhyun knows that it’s only a matter of time before she attacks.

The next few days aren’t as rough as Baekhyun had anticipated. He manages to get himself together long enough to go out for lunch with Joonmyun on Thursday and by the following Wednesday, Baekhyun feels more or less back to himself before the Kyungsoo incident.

On Friday, Joonmyun takes Baekhyun to the same place they first went to eat at, and Baekhyun is so happy he’s practically bouncing with energy. It had been a nice, productive day, and knowing that he was going out with Joonmyun had only increased his mood.

“What are you going to get this time? I’m thinking about getting the noodles with the chicken, but I also want to try something new,” Baekhyun says. When he doesn’t receive a reply, he looks up only to blink in confusion. Joonmyun is looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, lips parted like he wants to say something but can’t. There’s something in his eyes that Baekhyun can’t quite decipher, but it’s gone before Baekhyun can even think to analyze it.

“I think I’m going to get beef,” Joonmyun responds, but it sounds like he’s miles away. Baekhyun is sure he’s staring and looking dumb while doing so, but he can’t help it. This isn’t the first time that Joonmyun has acted like this in the past few weeks, and each successive time it happens, Baekhyun can’t help but feel confused yet uncomfortable. It’s like Joonmyun is trying to figure something out, eyes piercing and calculating as they look at Baekhyun and he feels like he’s being picked apart from the inside-out.

The expression is always gone before Baekhyun gathers the courage to enquire about it, a smile curling the corners of Joonmyun’s lips up as he changes the topic.

It happens again today, and Baekhyun swears that if he could get whiplash from a conversation, he would have it. Instead of questioning it, though, Baekhyun simply accepts the question about how his weekend was. It’s easier this way. Less complicated.

☆ ☆ ☆

“Baekhyun!”

Stunned, Baekhyun can only blink at Yixing. “Yes?”

Yixing sighs. “You were talking too fast again, so I couldn’t keep up.”

“Sorry,” Baekhyun says sheepishly. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but Yixing has never sounded this exasperated before. Baekhyun is about to continue his story when he pauses, eyes sweeping over Yixing’s features.

It’s a miracle that Yixing had even made time to come over today, only after Baekhyun’s insistence. He had felt inexplicably lonely throughout the day and Yixing had been the first, and only, person Baekhyun had thought of to call over. Baekhyun had thanked every lucky star he had when Yixing had said that he could make it within an hour.

Despite the excitement from seeing his best friend again and recounting how he’s been the last few weeks, Baekhyun finally notices Yixing’s expression. It’s not one that’s normally found on Yixing’s face, the expression too solemn and neutral instead of the usual warmth and affection.

Baekhyun has a sinking feeling that Yixing isn’t annoyed at Baekhyun speaking too quickly. “This isn’t about how fast I’m talking is it?”

Yixing sighs again, confirming Baekhyun’s thoughts. “No, it’s not.”

“Are you...not happy to see me? I’m sorry if I made it seem like you had to come over...”

“It’s not that, Baekhyun,” Yixing says. He pauses, lips pursing, before continuing. “You know that I’m always happy to see you.”

“But?”

At that, Yixing’s lips thin out. It’s what Baekhyun has learned to interpret as “disappointment” over the years. “This is going to sound harsh, but do you realize that you’re kind of using Joonmyun?”

“No, I’m not,” Baekhyun replies automatically. Him using Joonmyun? That’s ridiculous.

“Baekhyun...”

“It’s not like I’m making him pay for every meal!” Baekhyun is quick to defend. How is it his fault that he found someone who actually likes spending time with him? Joonmyun doesn’t seem to mind it.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I meant it more like you’ve been spending so much time with Joonmyun lately. Do you think it’s a coincidence that the amount of times you’ve gone out to eat have almost doubled after Kyungsoo came over?”

“Yes?” Except Baekhyun isn’t so sure himself. Sure, he enjoys spending time with Joonmyun, but Joonmyun is his _soulmate_. Of course Baekhyun is going to want to be around him as much as possible, especially considering his other soulmate continues to want nothing to do with him.

“Oh,” Baekhyun exclaims, eyes widening when he realizes just what he’s been doing. He can feel the color drain from his face.

It hadn’t seemed like much, hanging out with Joonmyun more and more in an effort to get to know him better and feel wanted. But now that Yixing has said something, Baekhyun can see what he’s been unintentionally doing all this time – using Joonmyun for his attention and kindness.

“Shit, Yixing, what am I doing?” Baekhyun wonders, but it’s more to himself. Baekhyun knows that he’s selfish, but this is an entirely different level of selfishness that he hadn’t thought he would be able to possess.

And then Baekhyun wonders, is he _good_ enough? Does he even deserve to have two soulmates when he’s fucked up both relationships? And it’s not even like he’s done it the same way – it’s two different ways, yet they both still stem from Baekhyun’s selfishness. Once upon a time, he had thought that having a soulmate would the most amazing thing he would ever experience, but now, sitting in his living room as his best friend stares at him with something akin to pity, Baekhyun wonders how he could have thought that in the first place.

If Baekhyun had kept his mouth shut, then his relationship with Kyungsoo would be almost perfect and he wouldn’t feel a gaping hole in his heart like he does now.

And Baekhyun is sure that Joonmyun doesn’t know they’re soulmates yet, but if Joonmyun feels the same about Baekhyun the way Baekhyun feels about Joonmyun, then Joonmyun must be beating himself up for liking who he assumes to be a taken man. Stringing Joonmyun along like this is cruel. Baekhyun _knew_ that he should’ve just told Joonmyun earlier, but now it seems to be too late.

Both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun deserve so much love, so much more than what he can give either of them; his heart may be big, but it’s too full of big dreams and big hopes for a perfect future that will never exist.

Yixing places a hand on Baekhyun’s shoulder, and Baekhyun startles. “Are you okay?”

“No,” Baekhyun replies bluntly. “I need...I need to stop this. I need to stop talking to Joonmyun so I won’t lead him on more than I already have.”

“But why can’t you just tell Joonmyun the truth? You aren’t leading him on if you’re actually soulmates.”

But Baekhyun isn’t listening, too busy formulating a plan and excuses to not be around Joonmyun more than he has to be. Maybe he can ask Sooyoung to tell Joonmyun he can’t come around anymore? But then Sooyoung is sure to ask questions that Baekhyun won’t be ready to give the answer to and-

“Baekhyun!”

“Huh?” Baekhyun asks, blinking out of his thoughts.

“Baekhyun,” Yixing repeats, softer this time. Baekhyun doesn’t remember a time when Yixing had called out his name this much. “You shouldn’t make the decision for them. You told Kyungsoo, and he decided he needed time, but you cutting off Joonmyun isn’t going to make it better.”

“But it will, don’t you see?” Baekhyun pleads, looking into Yixing’s eyes in hopes that he can get Yixing to understand his message more. “I’ve hurt him, I know I have. I knew that I should’ve told him we were all soulmates after I told Kyungsoo, but I was too scared. I’m really selfish.” Baekhyun laughs, then, but there’s no mirth, just pain. “I wanted him by my side, but I now realize I only wanted that because Kyungsoo wasn’t there. Joonmyun deserves someone better than me, someone who will give him attention because they want to, and the only way to convince both myself and him of that is if I stop leading him on.”

“But-”

“I’ve made up my mind,” Baekhyun states. “I don’t think I’m going to change it.”

Baekhyun can’t see Yixing, too busy staring at his hands in his lap, but he knows that Yixing had slumped with a sigh. He doesn’t continue the conversation, for which Baekhyun is grateful. He’s even more grateful when Yixing softly places a hand on Baekhyun’s thigh, thumb rubbing small circles near the outside seam of his pants. Baekhyun takes Yixing’s hand, lips hitching just slightly when Yixing squeezes his hand.

☆ ☆ ☆

“I’m sorry, Joonmyun oppa, but Baekhyun can’t talk right now.”

Baekhyun cringes as soon as Sooyoung says it. He’s a coward, getting Sooyoung to do this for him, but Baekhyun needs to cut off all contact with Joonmyun, a clean break like Kyungsoo had done to him. It will hurt less this way in the long run, and it’s better this way, despite how much it hurts him and how he selfishly still can’t help but want Joonmyun and Kyungsoo so badly.

He’s let himself be selfish for too long.

Just because he wants his perfect ending doesn’t mean he should force it. Baekhyun has always thought soulmates were forever, but he’s starting to fully, consciously realize that nothing is forever if they aren’t committed to making it forever.

It takes more understanding than effort, because effort means nothing to someone who doesn’t want to put any in at all. In his quest to have everything be perfect again, in order to have that magic relationship he so desperately craves, he had neglected to think about how Kyungsoo and Joonmyun felt. Baekhyun knows how Kyungsoo feels on the issue, but he had tossed it away with the thought that Kyungsoo would come around because he _always_ came around. But it’s been two months and he hasn’t talked to Kyungsoo once, and the ache in his chest grows by the day no matter how much he talks to Joonmyun.

And Joonmyun. Sweet Joonmyun who got roped into this mess without knowing what was happening. It’s his own fault that he doesn’t know how Joonmyun feels on the issue, but Baekhyun selfishly doesn’t want to see how angry Joonmyun will be after he hears the news unfortunately trumps Baekhyun wanting to tell Joonmyun.

Sighing, Baekhyun places his head in his hands, wondering when he became such a jerk, placing his own needs in front of others.

“You owe me,” Sooyoung proclaims as she walks back to her desk. Baekhyun doesn’t respond more than a noise of agreement.

Sooyoung sighs, which can’t mean anything good. “You know you’re really stupid right?”

The flare of indignation that Baekhyun feels pales in comparison to the other emotions warring in his body. Besides, Baekhyun knows Sooyoung is right, and he tells her as much.

“You’re agreeing with me? Damn, you must be worse off than I thought.”

And Baekhyun hates admitting that Sooyoung is right, but the more Baekhyun thinks about it, the more he agrees with her.

“Baekhyun...”

“Please don’t,” Baekhyun pleads. He’s tired of hearing his name in that pitying tone. He knows he’s fucked up, but he’s trying to fix it.

Sooyoung sighs again and the softness of this one is quite possibly worse than the previous exasperated one. It means that Sooyoung isn’t joking anymore. “Okay, but I can only turn Joonmyun away for so long before he starts to get suspicious and tries to talk to you.”

“I know,” Baekhyun whispers, pausing before continuing. “And can you please not tell Chanyeol?”

“If you wish,” Sooyoung says.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun replies, eyes on his work desk. “I appreciate it.”

It takes Joonmyun two days to corner Baekhyun, hours after Sooyoung had turned him away for the sixth time. Baekhyun’s startled when he finds Joonmyun leaning against his car. Baekhyun bites his bottom lip as he debates whether or not it would be worth it to take the bus home and get his car tomorrow. Joonmyun notices him before he can decide, though, and his eyes are as sharp as his movements as he walks over towards Baekhyun.

“You’re ignoring me,” Joonmyun states plainly once they’re face-to-face.

Slightly taken aback, because Baekhyun doesn’t remember a time where Joonmyun had been this straightforward, it takes a few seconds for him to formulate a response. And the one he does manage to think of isn’t intelligent in the slightest. “Uh, I’m not?”

Joonmyun fixes him with a stare that has Baekhyun shrinking in on himself. “Please don’t lie. I know you are, and I just want to know why. Is it something that I’ve done? I don’t want to be shut out again.”

And now Baekhyun can see it, the raw vulnerability in Joonmyun’s eyes. “I- I wanted to tell you, but...”

“But?” Joonmyun asks.

Baekhyun sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. This is the opening that he needs.

“Please, Baekhyun,” Joonmyun pleads and that’s the last crack in the dam, the words flooding out of Baekhyun’s mouth.

“We, us, we’re,” Baekhyun pauses to collect himself; it won’t do any good to blunder his way through this. “The three of us, Kyungsoo, you, and I, we’re soulmates.”

To Baekhyun’s surprise, Joonmyun doesn’t looked shocked or angry. Joonmyun’s expression had actually softened out, the lines around his eyes disappearing as he relaxes a bit.

“You knew?” Baekhyun blurts out. There’s no way...he had only met Kyungsoo once and it had been short and painful. At the least, Baekhyun mulled over the fact that Joonmyun might think he and Baekhyun are soulmates, but he never thought that Joonmyun would know all three of them were connected.

“Well, the first time I met you, I felt the pull. And when I met both of you, I was also affected, but I was so worried about you that I kind of ignored it for the time being. But yeah, I figured that there was no way that was normal and it felt like what my mom had told me it felt like for her so...”

Baekhyun can’t believe it. All this time...he shut Joonmyun out for _so_ long, yet Joonmyun had _known_. Fuck, if Baekhyun felt awful before, he feels downright nauseous now, stomach rolling and tightening at the same time.

“But you didn’t try to talk to me,” Baekhyun points out. He doesn’t mean for it to be accusing, simply curiosity since he knows that had he been in Joonmyun’s position, he would’ve tried to talk to his soulmate as much as possible.

Joonmyun’s mouth turns down at that, eyes drooping as well. “It was obvious you were having trouble with Kyungsoo. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“I’m sorry that you felt that way, but I appreciate it nonetheless. As much as I hate to admit it, I wasn’t the best person to be around a month ago,” Baekhyun says, eyes trained on the ground. Baekhyun really doesn’t deserve Joonmyun. He’s the kind of person that Baekhyun wishes he could be, selfless beyond reason.

Fingers tentatively brush against the back of his palm, Baekhyun’s eyes widening as he looks up at Joonmyun.

“Is this okay?” Joonmyun asks, no more than a whisper.

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Baekhyun nods. Joonmyun’s hand is smaller than Baekhyun’s own, his fingers not as long and slender, but they’re powerful and radiate warmth. Baekhyun finds his body relaxing at the touch, eyes locked with Joonmyun’s. Baekhyun can see it now, the emotions in Joonmyun’s eyes that he must have tried to hide so much in fear of making Baekhyun uncomfortable. It’s almost like Baekhyun is drowning in all of it, trying to surface for air, but not quite making it. Baekhyun finds he doesn’t really mind.

The silence is broken when Joonmyun whispers, “So is that the only reason you were avoiding me?”

“No,” Baekhyun admits. There’s no need to lie to Joonmyun anymore. It’s difficult to say it, though, to admit that he doesn’t feel adequate enough, but the first step to any relationship is trust and understanding. “I...I did it for you, actually. I didn’t want to force myself upon you and confuse you any more than I had. I realized after talking with my friend that I was kind of using you,” he flinches, but Joonmyun squeezes his hand in comfort, “and I didn’t want to lead you on anymore. So I stopped talking to you to give you the chance to maybe forget about me and how much trouble I’ve caused you.”

“Don’t you see, Baekhyun? By doing that, you take the chance away from me before you even gave it,” Joonmyun says softly and Baekhyun pales, panics because that’s not what he wanted to do at all. That’s the complete _opposite_ of what he wanted to do.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Baekhyun blubbers. “I didn’t mean to. I only wanted to give you the choice and stop deciding for myself only.”

“What if I want to be selfish? What if I want you, too? We can be selfish together.”

It’s twisted; they’re still missing their other third, and Baekhyun has been selfish enough today, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. He slumps completely when Joonmyun pulls him into a hug.

Baekhyun feels the tears starting to gather in his eyes again, a familiar pressure that he has become very used to over the last two months. They don’t fall, but Baekhyun does sniffle and burrow into Joonmyun’s arms more.

When Baekhyun pulls back after a few minutes, eyes probably glossy and face a mess in general, he finds Joonmyun looking at him. It’s still a bit surreal, to be standing this close, to know that Joonmyun actually wants him, too. It still doesn’t seem like Baekhyun belongs here, doesn’t deserve to feel the joy that is currently flowing through his veins.

He opens his mouth to say something, but stops, lost in everything about Joonmyun. The words get swallowed back down, Baekhyun resting his head against Joonmyun’s chest with a small, happy sigh.

☆ ☆ ☆

“You know,” Joonmyun starts casually, tracing patterns on Baekhyun’s palm. It’s something that Joonmyun has taken to do often, either when he’s bored or when he’s nervous. Baekhyun can tell that it’s the latter with the way Joonmyun starts on a pattern, only to give up and start on another area of his palm within seconds.

“Yeah?” Baekhyun prompts when it doesn’t seem like Joonmyun is ready to continue. He doesn’t want to pressure Joonmyun, but he knows that responding and letting Joonmyun know that he’s listening is the most he can do in these situations.

“I realized the other day that I never really told you about my home life.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widen. “You don’t have to, it’s okay.”

It’s only been a week and a half since they made up. The two of them have gotten close quite quickly, Baekhyun determined to show Joonmyun just how much he means to Baekhyun and Joonmyun determined to show Baekhyun just how much he deserves to be loved. Baekhyun’s heart always sings when Joonmyun initiates contact, and even though Baekhyun is still stupidly, stubbornly shy when it comes to showing Joonmyun his affections around the workplace, he has no qualms about snuggling up to Joonmyun on Baekhyun’s couch as they watch a movie in his apartment.

Joonmyun wiggles around, Baekhyun shuffling as well to give him the space he seems to be asking for.

“I want to,” Joonmyun assures. “I think...I think that after telling you, things might make more sense? And I won’t feel like I’m hiding something from you.”

Baekhyun feels his heart stutter, freezing in his chest as another round of guilt eats at him. He’ll never forgive himself for leaving Joonmyun in the dark, and it’s definitely going to take more than a week and a half to come to terms with it.

“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way,” Joonmyun blurts out, eyes wide and pleading as he takes Baekhyun’s hand in his.

Smiling, Baekhyun runs a thumb over Joonmyun’s knuckles. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I need to work on it, anyways.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too badly,” Joonmyun says.

And like every other time they’ve gone through this, Baekhyun can only smile weakly and say, “I’ll try.”

Joonmyun sighs. “This isn’t how I thought this would be going.”

Fear clings to Baekhyun once more. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no it’s not your fault, it’s just-” Joonmyun makes an aggravated noise that has Baekhyun shrinking in even more. “I’m not very good at this relationship thing.”

“Better than me,” Baekhyun offers, somewhat pleased when Joonmyun finds it in himself to laugh. The fear is still there, though, only increasing when Joonmyun settles down and starts playing with Baekhyun’s fingers again. Joonmyun keeps staring at their hands as he takes a few calming breaths.

“You’re wrong about that, but I can convince you of that later.” Normally, Baekhyun would joke back, but he can tell Joonmyun is about to start his story. Baekhyun continues running a thumb over Joonmyun’s knuckles, waiting patiently and trying to be as supportive as possible.

“My parents...they love each other. I know that and they know that, but sometimes their relationship can become a little strained. When I was little, I had the perfect life. I was treated well and we always had enough money. And then the fighting started.” His voice cracks here, and Baekhyun wants nothing more than to pull Joonmyun into his arms, but he holds back. “It got so bad that I even stayed over at my friend’s house for a few days because I couldn’t handle the sound of things shattering against the wall any longer. I’ve been scared since then. If this could happen to soulmates, two people who were destined for each other, was that going to happen to me too?”

Baekhyun wants to tell Joonmyun no, to comfort him and promise him that it will never happen, but seeing as it’s currently happening with Kyungsoo, it would be a waste of breath.

“They’re still together,” Joonmyun continues, lips hitching in a pitying kind of mirth. “Even to this day, I still think it’s possible for them to break up. When they love each other, they love each other with everything they have, but when they fight, I can see the damage it does. I know how amazing having a soulmate seems to be, but I also know how damaging it can be if you let it reach that point.”

Unlike most times in his life, Baekhyun has no idea what to say. Obviously he can’t say, “I understand” because he doesn’t. And “I’m sorry” isn’t going to do anything; it’s not his fault that Joonmyun’s parents have had problems, and it doesn’t seem like it’s enough regardless. Baekhyun generally prides himself on being able to lift people’s spirits up with words alone, but this time, he’s stuck, resorting to using physical affection say things for him.

Baekhyun might still be learning every little detail about Joonmyun, but he’s come to learn that Joonmyun is very receptive to touch, and will generally enjoy holding hands or hugging. So Baekhyun pulls Joonmyun to him, lightly as to give Joonmyun the option of staying where he is instead, but Joonmyun is pliant in his arms. He molds to Baekhyun’s side, warmth radiating from him even through both of their sweaters. Hooking his chin over Joonmyun’s head, Baekhyun runs a hand up and down Joonmyun’s back. It’s what his mother used to do for him when he was upset in the past, and Baekhyun can only hope that it helps Joonmyun as much as it used to help him.

It seems to work, Joonmyun snuggling further and further into Baekhyun’s side as time passes.

“Thank you for telling me,” Baekhyun whispers some odd minutes later. Baekhyun has found that time is almost meaningless when he’s with Joonmyun, the minutes ticking by far too quickly for Baekhyun to keep track of.

“Thank you for listening,” Joonmyun replies. Baekhyun simply presses a soft kiss to Joonmyun’s temple, panic flaring in his gut because it might be too soon for that kind of intimacy, but Joonmyun simply sighs and rests his head against Baekhyun’s shoulder. “I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to come out of me telling you, but snuggling is definitely one of the best outcomes.”

Slightly bemused, Baekhyun tightens his hold for a second. “Would it be wrong to assume you like cuddling then?”

Joonmyun hums. “No. I just...” Joonmyun pauses here and Baekhyun can feel the way Joonmyun stiffens up. “I never thought this would happen,” he whispers.

Baekhyun can feel his heart break, the tape that has been trying to hold it together giving way just slightly. Baekhyun doesn’t want to ask, but he knows that he probably should. “Why?”

“Well, you know I figured out that we were soulmates, or that I had at least hoped that was what was going on. I’ve never heard of three people being soulmates, but it was the only explanation for how sweaty my palms would get when you were around, or how nervous yet excited I felt when we went out for lunch. It went beyond trying to make a good impression and I knew that it was something special when the feelings only increased the longer I saw you.”

Baekhyun feels a fluttering in his chest, a pleasant buzz settling under his skin with the knowledge that _he_ can make Joonmyun feel these kind of things. But above all, Baekhyun feels a familiar pang of regret for not telling Joonmyun everything right away. He knows he’s going to have to spend the rest of his life making it up to Joonmyun, but instead of feeling discouraged, Baekhyun feels determination.

Pulling back slightly, Baekhyun looks at Joonmyun, taking in all of his features slowly. Joonmyun is breathtaking, every dip and line perfectly sculpted, and Baekhyun feels such a strong surge of protectiveness, of vulnerability, of warmth overtaking his system. If he’s going to spend the rest of his life making sure Joonmyun knows he’s wanted, there’s no better time like now to start.

“Just because I met Kyungsoo first doesn’t mean that you’re less important,” Baekhyun starts, and he hopes that Joonmyun knows this. “I don’t really understand this whole three-way soulmate thing, but I _do_ know that what I feel feels right. This isn’t the best time, but I like you, too. I have for a while if I’m going to be honest. And before you attempt to play it off,” he sends Joonmyun a look when Joonmyun opens his mouth only to sheepishly close it again, “I felt this way before I realized you were my soulmate. It’s not entirely the influence of the bond, so please know that what I feel for you _is_ genuine. I’m not making it up.”

Joonmyun looks like he’s in a dream, a dazed quality taking over his features. Baekhyun continues to stare, hoping that his seriousness is conveyed in the constant eye contact. From this point on, Baekhyun resolves to make communication a top priority, because it’s clear that lack of communication and understanding does much more harm than it does good. The last two months are evident enough of that and Baekhyun would prefer not to repeat them again even if things are a bit better now.

“You might have to tell me that again later,” Joonmyun finally says, Baekhyun blinking in confusion. “Just so, uh, I can know for sure.”

Baekhyun can feel himself start to smile. Joonmyun is adorable. “If that’s what you want to hear, then I’ll gladly keep saying it.”

Joonmyun buries his face into Baekhyun’s shoulder once more, the tips of his red ears still visible if Baekhyun looks down just a bit. Trying not to laugh too hard, Baekhyun squeezes Joonmyun’s waist, settling back into the couch with Joonmyun by his side.

☆ ☆ ☆

Baekhyun is just closing the last tab on his computer when there’s a knock on the doorframe. He’s half-expecting it to be Kihyun again. Kihyun has been having trouble with a certain program the whole day and has been an almost permanent presence in Baekhyun’s office for the last few hours.

It isn’t Kihyun, but Joonmyun in the doorway. Baekhyun can feel himself start to smile just looking at Joonmyun, but it’s okay because Joonmyun’s smile is just as bright, just as blinding.

“Hyung!” Chanyeol exclaims. “What are you doing down here?”

Joonmyun’s smile dims into a smaller, more secretive one. “Hmm should I tell you?”

“Hyung!” Chanyeol cries, a pout on his lips as he completely abandons his work to turn towards Joonmyun.

Baekhyun tries to hold his laughter back as well, but it’s hard when Chanyeol is pouting like that and it looks like Joonmyun is a split second away from bursting into laughter.

“If you don’t tell him, he might paw at your leg,” Sooyoung drawls. “Just like a puppy.”

“Maybe I’ll bite if you want.” Chanyeol grins one of his large Chanyeol grins and that has Joonmyun doubling over as he laughs loudly.

“I’ll pass on both, thanks. I’m here to pick Baekhyun up.”

Baekhyun can hear Sooyoung deflate. “That’s it? That’s nothing new.”

Chanyeol grumbles his agreement, even adding in, “Maybe I should bite you for being so boring.”

“Bad puppy,” Baekhyun admonishes, doing one last sweep of his desk before determining he has everything.

“That’s rich coming from you,” Sooyoung says. Baekhyun bares his teeth at her just for the fun of it. His antics get her to laugh, so it was worth it.

“Well if you guys aren’t interested in how _boring_ we are, then Joonmyun and I will be going to my apartment now.”

“What?” Sooyoung and Chanyeol squawk at almost the same time, but Baekhyun is too busy chuckling and pulling Joonmyun out the door by his wrist to pay much attention to them.

“Byun Baekhyun!” Sooyoung screeches, but it’s too late. Baekhyun and Joonmyun collapse into laughter when the elevator doors close before them.

“That was fun,” Baekhyun says amidst his laughter.

“It was, but I don’t think you should do that too often,” Joonmyun says.

Baekhyun winks. “It’s okay. I’ll be in for it tomorrow, but seeing the shock on her face was worth it. It’s not everyday that I can one-up Sooyoung.”

Joonmyun shakes his head with a chuckle. “Fair enough.”

The drive to Baekhyun’s apartment is too short for Baekhyun’s liking, but the sight of Joonmyun making himself comfortable in his apartment makes up for it. Dinner is simple, Baekhyun sheepishly holding up a take-out menu for a pizza place nearby after explaining that he can’t really cook. Joonmyun, although a bit exasperated, had a fond look on his face when he thought Baekhyun wasn’t looking.

“I won’t be able to move for the next few days,” Baekhyun moans, flicking one of the three crusts still left on his plate.

“I don’t think Seulgi would let you get away with that,” Joonmyun teases, like he too isn’t sprawled out on the carpet and suffering with his own food coma.

“Let me live my life,” Baekhyun warbles. He wiggles a bit more, sighing happily when he finds a comfortable spot on Joonmyun’s thigh.

“You want to live your life on my thigh?”

Baekhyun wiggles more for show. “Well it’s kind of small, so maybe not.”

“Hey!” Joonmyun flicks Baekhyun’s nose, and he whines in response.

“You shouldn’t be mean to the person who just fed you,” Baekhyun sniffs.

“I offered to pay, but you didn’t let me,” Joonmyun points out. “I think I’m justified in my flick.”

“What kind of host would I be if I let you pay?”

“You would be a better one if you cooked something,” Joonmyun teases.

Baekhyun huffs. “Well I could try but either we eat ramen since I still haven’t learned how to cook anything substantial since college or we call the fire department when my apartment goes up in flames.”

Joonmyun chuckles and Baekhyun can tell he’s trying to hold back from the tensing in his thigh. It makes Baekhyun laugh along, both due to Joonmyun’s infectious laughter and from how odd their current position is. Baekhyun feels warm, though, knowing that Joonmyun would think about Baekhyun’s comfort even in a situation like this.

It becomes quiet, then, just the two of them lying on the carpet. Baekhyun can feel his eyelids starting to become heavier as time passes, before they slip closed completely.

It’s only seconds until there’s a toe prodding his ribs, resulting in a yelp.

“No sleeping,” Joonmyun chides.

Baekhyun whines, but makes no further move to respond or get up. It causes Joonmyun to prod him more until Baekhyun sits up with a, “Fine! What do you want to do, then?”

“I actually have a question.”

Baekhyun is still a bit out of it, but he’s awake enough to notice the sudden change in Joonmyun’s tone.

“Okay,” Baekhyun says, if only to say something and not leave them with awkward silence.

Joonmyun bites his lip. “Do you still talk to Kyungsoo?”

Freezing, Baekhyun can only stare at Joonmyun in shock.

“It’s just that I know you said you haven’t been talking much,” Joonmyun quickly explains. Not talking much would be an understatement, but Baekhyun doesn’t say that, merely lets Joonmyun continue. “And I’ve been wondering if we could, maybe, meet?”

Baekhyun is immediately reminded of the last and only time all three of them had been in the same place at the same time. Unconsciously, Baekhyun places a hand against his chest. Baekhyun knows that feeling of complete breathlessness he had felt won’t happen again, but Baekhyun also feels the phantom clutch of Kyungsoo’s fingers squeezing his own. Baekhyun would like to believe Kyungsoo would be less agitated the second time they meet, but the last two and a half months have proven Baekhyun doesn’t know much about Kyungsoo at all.

And yet Baekhyun misses Kyungsoo _so_ much. It isn’t as strong as it was the first few days after they met at the park, but there’s still an ache in Baekhyun’s chest that he knows only Kyungsoo can fill.

“We don’t have to,” Joonmyun says softly.

“No, no. Sorry, I was just thinking,” Baekhyun replies. It’s clear Joonmyun took his silence as rejection. Baekhyun quickly continues with, “It’s just a bit difficult to imagine it going well given last time.”

Surprisingly, Joonmyun doesn’t drop the subject. “I understand, but Baekhyun...you’re miserable.”

Baekhyun can’t help but bark out a laugh. That he knows well and he’s actually a bit surprised Joonmyun would say something considering how he isn’t usually this forward.

“It must be hard not talking to Kyungsoo, so that’s why I figured we might as well try, right? And I won’t lie and say I don’t want to know Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun must be wide-eyed since Joonmyun manages to laugh. “Well he’s our other third. And he was good-looking from the little I saw, so you can’t really blame me for being curious.”

Even though Baekhyun’s stomach is slowly trying to twist itself into multiple knots, Baekhyun can’t help but laugh although he isn’t sure it sounds very normal. “Sure, you’re only just curious?”

Huffing, Joonmyun lightly slaps Baekhyun on the arm. His face is an endearing shade of light pink. “That isn’t the point and you know it. Please consider it? I know this isn’t something that I can personally fix myself. It hurts me to see you so sad when I know how happy you were before.”

Baekhyun looks at Joonmyun, really looks at him. He can’t help but wonder what he did to deserve someone like Joonmyun. Baekhyun can see the hesitation in Joonmyun’s eyes and his body language, and Baekhyun understands that this isn’t easy for Joonmyun, either. It’s not easy for any of them, but Joonmyun is willing to _try_ , to take a chance on someone he barely knows, in order to maybe work this out.

“Okay,” Baekhyun finds himself saying. And honestly, it really is time for him to stop moping around like this. Joonmyun was right when he said Baekhyun was miserable; he’s just been feeling it for so long that he didn’t recognize how miserable he really was until someone explicitly pointed it out to him.

That doesn’t make him less worried, though. Just because Baekhyun suddenly feels invigorated doesn’t mean that Kyungsoo will even answer his message or agree to meet up at all. But Baekhyun is honestly so, so tired at this point that he will be even more miserable if he doesn’t try.

“Where should I ask him to meet up?” Baekhyun asks after staring at the empty text message box on his phone.

“I don’t think somewhere in public would be a good idea,” Joonmyun says. “Nor would my house be a good idea since he’s not familiar with me at all.”

Baekhyun bites his lip. He has no idea where Kyungsoo lives, a fact that causes his heart to drop a little further, but they might be working towards the right direction so he doesn’t let it bother him for long. It’s obvious that Kyungsoo knows where Baekhyun lives, and that’s really the only place left to pick from.

“My apartment it is, then,” Baekhyun says, so soft it might be considered a whisper.

Joonmyun holds Baekhyun’s hand when he hits send, white-knuckling the phone in his other hand as he watches the swirling circle change to the time it was sent.

And just like in college, Kyungsoo responds hours after Baekhyun sent the message, Baekhyun practically jumping off the couch and taking the blankets with him when his phone vibrates on the coffee table.

Joonmyun chuckles as he pauses the movie and rearranges the blankets after Baekhyun successfully grabs his device and settles back on the couch without face-planting.

“Kyungsoo?” Joonmyun mutters as he wiggles an arm around Baekhyun’s waist.

Baekhyun’s heart leaps into his throat when he reads Kyungsoo’s name in his pop-up notifications and he nods. For some reason, though, his finger seems frozen over the screen, his screen turning black when he takes too long to swipe it open.

Joonmyun squeezes his hip. “It will be okay.”

It might or it might not. The truth is that Baekhyun _still_ can’t fully figure Kyungsoo out no matter how long it’s been and how much he’s tried.

This is never going to work if he doesn’t continue to try, though, and he at least understands _that_ about Kyungsoo. Sometimes, it’s okay to be the one to make the first move and sometimes it’s okay to let Kyungsoo have his space.

“Okay,” Baekhyun whispers, more for himself than for Joonmyun. His heart threatens to pound its way out of his ribs. Hands shaking badly enough that the words on the screen start blurring together, he manages to swipe his phone open.

_Okay, when?_

Baekhyun can’t help but bark out a laugh despite the fact that he feels like crying. 

“He said okay,” Baekhyun says, positive that it might be borderline hysterical, but there’s hope. Maybe not a lot of it because Kyungsoo’s response had been pretty short and clipped, but this is more hope than Baekhyun has had in _months_.

Could it really be possible? Could they really work things out? For the first time in a while, Baekhyun thinks that he sees stars light up the skies of his future.

☆ ☆ ☆

They settle on Saturday. None of them have work, if things don’t go well, they have an extra day to recover, and if things go somewhat alright, they have the rest of the day to spend together without worrying about getting up early the next day.

Saturday sneaks up on Baekhyun, threatening to drag him under from the minute he wakes up every day leading up to it. He knows that this is the last shot they’re going to have, that today will literally determine if he’s ever going to have a relationship with Kyungsoo and Joonmyun. It’s more than a little frightening.

Thirty minutes before they agreed to meet, Baekhyun fluttering around his apartment to try and clean invisible messes just for something to do, there’s a knock on his door. Baekhyun’s nerves flare because one of them wouldn’t come this early, would they?

Baekhyun feels himself sucking in a sharp breath when he opens the door and sees Kyungsoo standing there.

“You’re early,” Baekhyun blurts out in his shock.

Kyungsoo shuffles in place. “Yeah I...thought that maybe the two of us could talk first? Before all three of us got here since the last time we met didn’t really end well.”

Baekhyun thinks he must looks pretty stupid standing there with his jaw hanging open the way he knows it is, but that’s the last thing on his mind at this point. “Yeah, okay sure.”

Once they’re both settled on the couch, with a cushion of space between the two of them, Baekhyun is completely silent. His head is too much of a mess to think of something to say and Kyungsoo had seemed like he wanted to say something, so Baekhyun just waits.

A full minute hadn’t even passed before Kyungsoo sighs. “Okay, I’m just going to say what I have to say, so please listen.”

Baekhyun can already tell that’s going to be a hard promise to keep, but he nods anyways, lips pressed together in a thin line.

“We’ve both had a lot of time to think about this and I keep going in circles, honestly. It’s hard for me to accept this type of relationship, and I hope that you can at least understand a little bit of why. I don’t want to be here very much right now, but that’s not to say I’m not sad as well. What we had was nice, Baekhyun. I treasure those memories a lot. But I have no doubt that you’ve also made those same memories with Joonmyun in the past two months.”

Baekhyun bristles, insulted that Kyungsoo would say such a thing. It’s not his fault that he tried to pick up the pieces of his life after Kyungsoo broke him. Not that he really tried anyways, since Baekhyun spent most of the last two and a half months crying and feeling like absolute shit for what he had done. Baekhyun knows that he’s not supposed to say anything until Kyungsoo is done, and it looks like he still has more to say, but Baekhyun can’t let this slide. “Are you angry at me for getting to know our soulmate?” Because that’s really what it all seems to come down to.

Kyungsoo’s eyes harden slightly, his posture stiffening. “That’s not how I would say it, but yes, I guess if you want to think about it that way. I’ve barely had anyone to talk to about this, especially considering half of the last few months were spent alone in my room wondering what was wrong with me. Minseok and Luhan wouldn’t understand, so excuse me for feeling a little left out while you were off frolicking with Joonmyun.”

A bitter laugh escapes Baekhyun. “You aren’t the only one who has been hurting, Kyungsoo.”

“I can’t just drop everything that I’ve ever believed in one day, Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo shouts. Baekhyun still isn’t used to seeing Kyungsoo like this and he doesn’t think he ever will be. “I never thought about this type of relationship before, but I’ve thought that having two partners was wrong for a long time. And I know that this isn’t the same thing, but it’s hard to differentiate sometimes.”

“Was it also hard to differentiate when you only had one?” Baekhyun questions. He almost doesn’t recognize his own voice, it’s so cold. Suddenly, he feels the bubbling of anger under his skin, both from Kyungsoo’s words and from the memories of college, of how he was the _only_ one who tried for so long, which is what he says. “So long, Kyungsoo. It took you a _year_ to even look like you wanted to be in my presence. And I know, I get it now...actually no, I don’t. I don't know what it’s like to have a home life that’s less than what is considered perfect and I know that it clouds my judgment just like it clouds yours, but I really tried to understand. I didn’t _ask_ for two soulmates just like you didn’t ask for it and Joonmyun didn’t ask for it. Do you know how awful Joonmyun felt? No, you wouldn’t because I’ve been the only one that’s been with him after I hated myself for weeks on end, and I only found out about Joonmyun’s feelings weeks ago. So don’t try and insinuate that the two of us have been happy, because we’ve been just as miserable as you.”

He sees Kyungsoo’s eyes widen, his shoulders slumping and lips parting before he softly asks, “You hated yourself for weeks?”

Baekhyun continues on as if he hadn’t heard anything. “He’s just as broken as we are, Kyungsoo, but that’s not my story to tell. It just...hurts. I’m tired and it kind of sucks that I’m the only one that has to try, even now. Or well, Joonmyun is, too, since he’s the one who suggested we even meet up in the first place. So really, Kyungsoo, the only person who isn’t trying here is _you_.”

He doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo’s response, anger and adrenaline fueling his motions as he gets up and storms to his bedroom. He’s sure that he’s just fucked up any chances he had of ever getting this relationship to work, but he’s not about to sit around and let Kyungsoo berate him in his own home when he doesn’t even have all of the facts.

Baekhyun takes deep breaths as he paces his bedroom. It’s not going to help anyone if he’s still pissed off when Joonmyun arrives, not that it really matters much anymore since he’s pretty sure Kyungsoo has left by now, never to been seen again.

After another good ten minutes of breathing and pinching the bridge of his nose to clear his mind, he opens his bedroom door with the intent of sitting in the living room until Joonmyun arrives.

To his complete and utter surprise, Baekhyun doesn’t come back to an empty living room. In fact, Kyungsoo is still sitting where Baekhyun had left him. He looks up from his hands when Baekhyun enters the room, teeth unclasping from his bottom lip as he stares at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun doesn’t know what to do, but when Kyungsoo waves him over, his body runs on autopilot.

After Baekhyun doesn’t say anything for a good minute, staring at Kyungsoo like if he looks away Kyungsoo will disappear in a puff of smoke, Kyungsoo speaks.

“I can’t keep running away,” Kyungsoo says to his hands. His voice cracks in the middle of his sentence, Baekhyun instinctively reaching out to comfort him, but stopping before he makes contact.

“I thought about it,” Kyungsoo continues when Baekhyun still doesn’t say anything. “Right after you stormed off, I thought about doing it, too. But then that would be proving your point.” Kyungsoo smiles ruefully. “Not that your ego needs me to admit that, Really, though. You’re right. You’ve said it many times before but this is the first time I actually listened. I’ve really only tried two times, but they clearly haven’t been enough and we’re all broken.”

Baekhyun flinches even though he’s the least broken out of all of them. Or is he? Is being exposed to the harsh reality of life or being sheltered only to have it all crash down more broken?

But that’s the thing. It isn’t a contest to see who is the most broken. There’s no prize to be won.

A hand finds his and Baekhyun gasps, the initial urge to pull away weakened by the familiar, yet somewhat foreign, touch and the even more familiar eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to say it in a better way...I’m still bad with words. But I’ll try.”

Baekhyun doesn’t bother asking what he’s going to try – to speak more, express more, love more, accept more – before he’s pulling Kyungsoo into a hug.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun mumbles, the beginning of tears clinging to his lashes. “Thank you.”

Kyungsoo squeezes his hip and then, beats later, says, “Thank you.”

Baekhyun can’t help but laugh, Kyungsoo joining in after a few more moments.

Progress.

Kyungsoo stayed this time and that’s what matters.

Joonmyun arrives no more than five minutes later, Baekhyun still kind of starstruck that Kyungsoo is possibly back in his life now. It’s even more surreal having the three of them together in once place talking things out. It seems that, while Kyungsoo isn’t completely open about every single thing, he seems more relaxed now, a remnant of what Baekhyun remembers him to be. Although Baekhyun supposes that a lot of that has to do with Joonmyun. While Baekhyun can be loud and annoying, it’s very difficult to hate someone like Joonmyun. Baekhyun knows that isn’t the only reason Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to be so stiff this meeting, but he also knows it probably plays a large part.

Kyungsoo had been hesitant at first, but he had eventually ended up telling Joonmyun basically what he told Baekhyun. In turn, Joonmyun shares about his life. It’s interesting for Baekhyun, being on the outside this time. Since he’s heard both stories already, this time he watches their expressions, the way Kyungsoo fidgets as he talks about his mom and how Joonmyun blinks rapidly when he recounts all the fighting his parents did. And Baekhyun aches for them in a way different from the first time they heard them, can’t help but feel a bit of pity for the both of them. The most prevalent feeling in his chest, though, is pride that they’re opening themselves up one more time, to feel the emotion and to share it with someone that they barely know. All experiences carve a person out, sometimes so deep that it leaves a permanent mark behind that one can never quite shake or ignore.

“I gave my heart away a long time ago,” Kyungsoo says once Joonmyun finishes his story. Baekhyun can feel his heart skip a beat, eyes widening in fear. Everything had seemed to be going so well, and yet Kyungsoo is saying this?

“But,” Kyungsoo continues, “that doesn’t mean I don’t have room for one more person.”

A sob escapes Baekhyun’s lips before he has time to catch it and then there are two pairs of eyes staring at him.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun blubbers, a hand scrubbing at his eyes. He’s honestly getting a bit tired of all of this crying. “I was just- my heart kind of- I don’t-”

Suddenly, there are two pairs of arms wrapping around him, Kyungsoo’s soft voice in one ear telling him _it’s okay, don’t cry_ and Joonmyun in his other ear whispering assurances and other sweet words that Baekhyun doesn’t really hear over his sniffles.

He does, however, feel the kiss that Kyungsoo presses to his hair, so light that Baekhyun thinks it was so Kyungsoo could deny being sappy later if questioned. And Joonmyun’s smile is teary, but still reminiscent of the sun, and there’s a spark of genuine happiness in the air that Baekhyun hasn’t felt in a very, very long time.

☆ ☆ ☆

The changes are obvious after that. Baekhyun can’t stop smiling all day Sunday, looking back through his messages to make sure that this is actually happening. Sure enough, there are texts from both Joonmyun and Kyungsoo waiting for him, and even messages in their Kakao group chat. It had been a bit difficult convincing Kyungsoo to make an account, and Baekhyun’s sure he hadn’t helped when he told Kyungsoo about all of the stickers Baekhyun could send him, but he had eventually caved. Kyungsoo had still complained, though, bemoaning the loss of his battery life when he said Baekhyun would inevitably feel the need to spam the group chat. Baekhyun had simply beamed, not even bothering to deny it. He could be a bit of a spam texter if he didn’t keep track of his excitement.

Monday is just as wonderful and Baekhyun knows that he probably freaked Sooyoung out a little with his constant smiling. Chanyeol had been just as happy, mostly because that’s always how Chanyeol is, and partly because he had fed off of Baekhyun’s energy. It’s nice to have things back to normal. Or well, not normal considering their situation, but at least back to a point where Baekhyun doesn’t have to cover his emotions at work.

The three of them all text each other, both individually (Baekhyun’s sure his jaw had almost fallen off when Joonmyun said he has been texting Kyungsoo sporadically throughout the week) and in the chat. As usual, Kyungsoo is the one who responds the latest, if he responds at all, but Baekhyun has learned to realize that this is just how Kyungsoo is, and that this time, it’s not entirely his fault.

All good things must come to an end, though. It’s a simple Friday night with the three of them gathered in Baekhyun’s apartment, a few pizza boxes and drinks laid out on the coffee table as a show none of them are particularly interested in plays on the television. Baekhyun isn’t even sure what starts it, but the next thing he knows, he and Kyungsoo are yelling and Kyungsoo is storming off to the bathroom, fists clenched tightly at his sides.

Baekhyun’s breathing heavily, fingers cutting shapes into his palms in an effort to not reach out and throw something.

“Should we go apologize?” Joonmyun’s soft voice rings out.

“I don’t think we’re going to get through to him right now,” Baekhyun says, a bite to his words. It’s probably a good thing that Kyungsoo had gone to the bathroom and not out the door; at least they could do something once they had both calmed down.

Joonmyun sighs. “But will you eventually? What you said wasn’t very nice.”

Baekhyun can’t help but bristle. “What he said wasn’t very nice either.” Baekhyun already doesn’t remember much, but he’s pretty sure Kyungsoo had said something nasty about Joonmyun under his breath and Baekhyun wasn’t about to sit there and let it go.

“Getting back at him for saying something mean isn’t the way to handle things,” Joonmyun gently points out. Baekhyun huffs, but he can feel the fire in him starting to burn out, knowing that Joonmyun is right.

Kyungsoo appears minutes later, the sound of his footsteps loud now that neither Baekhyun nor Joonmyun are talking and the television is off. He even looks a bit _sheepish_ when he peeks around the corner, and just like that Baekhyun can feel himself melting, opening his arms for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo doesn’t come clambering into his arms, which has Baekhyun frowning a bit, but he still sometimes forgets that Kyungsoo isn’t as physically affectionate as he is. He does lace their fingers together, though, so Baekhyun is mollified.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun whispers, thumb rubbing circles on Kyungsoo’s knuckles.

“I’m sorry as well,” Kyungsoo says. He then peers around Baekhyun. “I’m sorry, Joonmyun, I really didn’t mean it. I could give you an excuse, but there’s a reason it’s called an excuse.”

Joonmyun reaches around Baekhyun’s waist to place a hand on their joined hands. Baekhyun shifts a bit, loops a pinky around Joonmyun’s index finger. “It’s okay,” Joonmyun says. “Nothing is going to be perfect.”

☆ ☆ ☆

It isn’t until a few weeks later when the next episode happens. Baekhyun is whispering something to Kyungsoo that gets Kyungsoo to laugh, so entrapped in his little bubble that he almost jumps in surprise when there’s shuffling on Baekhyun’s other side. He had actually forgotten that Joonmyun was sitting there as well, he was so engrossed in his story.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Baekhyun says sheepishly, although a part of him doesn’t know why he’s apologizing in the first place. This isn’t the first time he’s talked to Kyungsoo while Joonmyun was around, and he definitely talks to just Joonmyun sometimes when Kyungsoo is in the room with them. It’s not like Baekhyun is trying to pick favorites and he hopes it doesn’t seem like he is.

Joonmyun frowns, averting his gaze when Baekhyun turns to look at him. “It’s okay,” he sighs.

Usually, Baekhyun would drop it. There are times when all of them seem to have something bothering them, but Baekhyun never likes to ask, never knows if he’s _allowed_ to ask since there are some people who simply don’t like talking about it. This time, though, Baekhyun feels like he should ask and that it’s only going to get worse if he doesn’t. Baekhyun only realizes then that they don’t talk about problems they’re having nearly as much as they probably should. Baekhyun wants them to know that he’s there for them, and ignoring Joonmyun’s obvious distress wouldn’t be the best way to show them that.

“Is it really, though?” Baekhyun asks. Joonmyun looks surprised at that, eyebrows shooting up before relaxing again into a more stoic expression.

“You can tell us,” Kyungsoo says. “If you want.”

Baekhyun nods enthusiastically, heart swelling with Kyungsoo’s offer. It’s still slow-going, but they’ve been making enough progress over the last couple of weeks that Baekhyun feels like flying.

Joonmyun hesitates, teeth latching onto his lower lip. “Okay, the more I think about it, the more stupid it sounds, but you’re both so good together?” Baekhyun almost wants to snort because he doesn’t think of the word “good” when he thinks of what he and Kyungsoo have gone through, but he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, so he holds back. “You’ve been together for two years now, and I don’t know, it just feels like I’m intruding? I know the letters don’t lie but I can’t help but feel left out when you do things like that.” Joonmyun waves a hand in their direction.

Baekhyun frowns. He hadn’t even noticed that he and Kyungsoo had started drifting back into their old habits, which makes it worse; they’re so comfortable with each other that they don’t have to think about it, unintentionally leaving Joonmyun out every single time. Baekhyun rarely thinks when he crowds into Kyungsoo’s space as much as Kyungsoo will allow, whereas he’s still sometimes hesitant to lean on Joonmyun, to lace their fingers together. Baekhyun feels a drop of ice working its way through his body, spreading from his fingers to his toes and settling in his chest. Taking Joonmyun’s hand in his, Baekhyun makes sure to look as sincere as possible. “I’m really sorry, Joonmyun. I didn’t mean to, and I’m sure Kyungsoo didn’t mean to do it either. It’s not an excuse, but I’ll be more cautious from now on.”

Joonmyun sighs, which can’t be a good sign. “No, that wouldn’t be fair of me to tell you to stop being yourselves. It’s obvious that my relationship with you or with Kyungsoo won’t be as easy as the one you two have since you’ve been together longer, and I get that. It’s just...a bit frustrating sometimes when I feel like I’m not really here, like I could walk out the door and you wouldn’t really notice.”

“Don’t go.”

Baekhyun and Joonmyun are surprised at hearing Kyungsoo’s deep voice. Baekhyun had actually opened his mouth to say the same thing, but Kyungsoo had beat him to it.

There’s some shuffling and then Kyungsoo is kneeling down next to the couch and placing his hand over Joonmyun and Baekhyun’s. “Like Baekhyun said, we didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry that we’ve made you feel this way. I know it’s still a bit difficult to get used to this kind of relationship, but I think we should be more open with each other? I hate to see us drift apart because we didn’t feel like we could talk to each other. I learned that a while ago.” He smiles ruefully. Baekhyun’s a bit starstruck, looking at Kyungsoo like he’s never seen him before. It’s always surprising when Kyungsoo speaks so much at once, especially like this, about something he was so against a month ago.

“I also think more communication would be helpful,” Baekhyun adds. If there’s one thing he has learned over the last three months, it’s that keeping things to himself is never a good idea. He should fight for what he wants, because he’ll never know what would happen if he doesn’t. Heartbreak is always easier to deal with than what if’s.

Joonmyun still seems a bit troubled, but not opposed to the idea. “I’m sorry that I brought this up.”

“Don’t be,” Baekhyun quickly says. “It’s something that we were going to have to talk about eventually, I’m sure. And it’s better to talk about it now instead of later when we’ve bottled up more things."

Kyungsoo nods his agreement. Baekhyun looks to Joonmyun with hope flaring his chest, a spark that grows more when Joonmyun nods with a small smile.

They spend the rest of the night talking, going over more rules and other boundaries to help all three of them know where they stand in the relationship. It’s nice, and by the time Kyungsoo and Joonmyun leave after Baekhyun kisses them on the cheeks, he feels warm.

☆ ☆ ☆

Warmth, Baekhyun finds out, is fleeting. Warmth isn’t tangible, it’s something that can be the result of snuggling under a warm blanket, but one tug and the blanket is gone, leaving the biting cold in its wake. Warmth isn’t something that Baekhyun can keep in a jar, to snuggle to sleep when he’s feeling lonely and needs a hug. It’s just a phantom touch that Baekhyun feels in his limbs, in his heart, in his mind. Some days it’s hard to reach out and feel the warmth from his memories. Other days it’s easier, but today is one of the more difficult days.

It’s the end of the quarter, which means reports are due in a few days. The office has been relatively quiet in comparison to other weeks where there isn’t the feel of a looming deadline in the air.

“Damn, I can’t find the file I need,” Chanyeol mutters. He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he leans away from his computer. “I need a break before I go crazy.”

“Do you need some help? Maybe I worked on that file as well,” Baekhyun offers. He has work to do as well, but it’s not as severe as the pile on Chanyeol’s desk.

Chanyeol turns to him with puppy eyes, which is completely unnecessary since Baekhyun has already offered to help and needs no further persuasion. “Would you? Please? I’ll buy you lunch next week after this paperwork stops kicking my ass.”

Baekhyun simply smiles. “Of course, what is the name of the company?”

After helping Chanyeol, Baekhyun goes back to his own work, but it isn’t long before a frantic Kihyun shows up at their door asking Baekhyun about a program and some missing files that he can’t find.

“Thank you so much!” Kihyun calls as he speeds back out the door. Baekhyun opens his mouth with the intent of telling him to be careful, but Kihyun is already gone before Baekhyun can even try.

Throughout the rest of the day, Baekhyun keeps sneaking glances at the doorway, but Joonmyun never comes. He’s been coming over less and less recently and Baekhyun wants to know why. Logically, he knows that it’s because of the deadlines, but Joonmyun never fails to be on top of things and find time to visit.

A brilliant idea strikes Baekhyun then - he can go see Joonmyun. It isn’t a rule that Joonmyun always has to be the one to visit Baekhyun. With that in mind, Baekhyun saves the current document he’s working on before he gets up in search of Joonmyun’s office. He’s pretty sure he knows the way, but he’s only been to Joonmyun’s office once in all of the months he’s been working at the company and this building is like a maze.

Fortunately, it’s relatively easy to find the right room, and after poking his head in, he smiles when he sees Joonmyun’s familiar blond hair peeking out from above his computer. Jonghyun is actually the first person to notice Baekhyun, surprise in his voice when he calls out Baekhyun’s name. That has Joonmyun’s head snapping up, round eyes meeting Baekhyun’s.

“What are you doing here?” Jonghyun wonders. “Not that I mind a distraction.” He laughs, eyes scrunching up and canines peeking out to say hello. It’s an endearing laugh, one that Baekhyun has always liked.

“Nothing much, just taking a break myself.” He looks towards Joonmyun as he says this, but instead of the welcoming smile he had expected to see, Joonmyun looks sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, Baekhyun, but I can’t talk right now,” Joonmyun says. Baekhyun can feel his stomach drop. “There was a problem a few days ago with some emails and now I have to backtrack and find the problem, then re-work up from there.”

“Oh, okay,” Baekhyun replies, feeling his mood drop with his stomach. “That’s okay, I should’ve known you were busy. I’ll see you around, then?”

Except Joonmyun is already focused on his computer, giving Baekhyun a noncommittal hum that leads Baekhyun to believe he hadn’t even heard Baekhyun in the first place. Jonghyun waves as Baekhyun leaves, Baekhyun’s smile small but appreciating the fact that someone notices that he exists.

It doesn’t get better over the coming days either. Baekhyun’s happy when he goes out with Kyungsoo for dinner, the wind blowing in his hair as he sits in Kyungsoo’s car, reminding him of the old days. They had all decided that it was unfair to restrict their meetings to having all three of them being present and it had only taken a day after that decision for Kyungsoo to ask Baekhyun out for dinner.

Everything goes well in the beginning, but Baekhyun can tell that Kyungsoo isn’t really paying attention to what Baekhyun has to say. Usually, Kyungsoo would be indulgent, responding to Baekhyun with jabs of his own, but this time Kyungsoo responds with as little words as possible. Baekhyun soon stops trying altogether, instead pushing his meal around his plate to make it seem like he’s busy when he’s really wondering what’s going on inside Kyungsoo’s head.

It’s a little funny how lonely Baekhyun feels despite Kyungsoo sitting mere feet away.

The rest of their dinner stays the same, Baekhyun nodding when Kyungsoo asks if he’s ready to go.

“Thanks for taking me,” Baekhyun says once they arrive in front of Baekhyun’s complex. He makes no move to get out, holding onto the hope that maybe Kyungsoo will finally do something.

He’s disappointed when Kyungsoo simply smiles, no teeth. “I’m glad we could do that again.”

Baekhyun wants to ask if he really means that, but opts out knowing that he would rather keep his thoughts to himself than get into yet another fight with Kyungsoo.

“Please text me when you get home.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, but there’s a fond hint to the action that has Baekhyun smiling on instinct. There’s the old Kyungsoo. “Okay, you can stop acting like my parent now. I’ll text you.”

When Baekhyun lays in bed later that night, he lets all of the lingering doubts and emotions he’s been suppressing overtake him. It’s ironic because he was the one who had said they should talk more about their feelings and yet here he is, keeping all of this to himself. Baekhyun feels more alone than he has in a while, but it’s never bothered Baekhyun much before, being left alone like this. But Baekhyun knows he’s lying to himself - ever since Kyungsoo left him, he’s been constantly terrified that it could happen again at any moment’s notice.

It’s easier letting go than holding on to someone who doesn’t want you.

Rolling to his side, Baekhyun unlocks his lock screen to stare at the picture of all three of them he’s saved as his wallpaper. Unbidden, he smiles when he thinks back to the day, how Kyungsoo had put up a losing fight, how Joonmyun had been laughing so hard his eyes had turned into crescents, how Baekhyun had been beaming as he took the picture. They look happy, smiles on all of their faces. Usually this picture would cheer Baekhyun up and be his driving force for the day, but now it just tears at his heart, seeing what he could have but also imagining what he could lose.

Sighing, Baekhyun locks his phone and places it facedown on his nightstand. Baekhyun holds out hope that whatever it is that’s going on with Joonmyun and Kyungsoo passes soon. But while hope is abundant these days, that doesn’t mean it comes to fruition.

☆ ☆ ☆

Old scars never quite go away and Baekhyun learns that old thoughts are the same. The quarter reports were turned in hours ago and with nothing pressing to do, Baekhyun had allowed his mind to wander. It turns out that had been a poor decision, since now Baekhyun’s desperately trying to hold back his tears when his thoughts drift to whether or not he really likes Kyungsoo the way he thinks he does. It’s an age old war with himself that Baekhyun is tired of participating in, but his brain never knows when to stop. It’s never a fun experience when suddenly everything you’ve ever known is throw for a loop and you aren’t sure if what you know is really the truth or a fabricated explanation to hide the real truth.

Baekhyun has always believed in soulmates, ever since he learned what it meant to have a soulmate and be someone else’s. So why is it that now he suddenly doesn’t believe that what he feels is real? Baekhyun knows why, but he’s weak and doesn’t want to admit it to himself. If he didn’t like – almost love at this point – Kyungsoo, though, then there must be some other explanation as to why Baekhyun always feels a spark when he’s near Kyungsoo, why his heart grows wings and flies when Kyungsoo texts him, why his words get jumbled up every once in awhile when Kyungsoo picks him up for a date. That isn’t the kind of thing that can be fabricated and if so, Baekhyun’s not a good enough actor to be able to trick _himself_ into believing he loves Kyungsoo.

“Are you okay?”

Baekhyun gasps, heart kicking into overdrive at the unexpected voice.

Joonmyun‘s brows are furrowed. Baekhyun had completely forgotten he was here.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine,” Baekhyun replies. Joonmyun’s eyebrows furrow even more and Baekhyun hopes if he avoids eye contact, then Joonmyun won’t be able to see the conflicting emotions warring within him.

“Are you sure? You’ve been staring at the wall for a while now.”

Shit that certainly isn’t going to help his case.

“Just thinking,” Baekhyun ends up saying. Joonmyun shoots him a doubtful look, but lets it go, walking over and settling down next to Baekhyun with the drinks he had gone to get.

They’re supposed to be watching a movie, and while Baekhyun is physically watching the movie, his brain is miles away. He just can’t stop thinking about Kyungsoo and what he feels. If it was up to his heart, this wouldn’t even be a debate because his feelings for Kyungsoo are obvious, but his brain always likes to complicate things more than necessary.

“Okay, I’ve been trying to let this go, but something is obviously bothering you.”

Baekhyun blinks the real world back into focus, surprised to see that the television is off and Joonmyun is turned towards him. He opens his mouth with the intent of lying again before thinking better of it. Baekhyun should honestly listen to his advice more often and start being less doubtful and more hopeful.

Instead of answering Joonmyun’s unspoken question, Baekhyun asks one of his own. “How did you know that we were soulmates?”

Joonmyun’s clearly surprised by the question, eyes widening and mouth parting slightly. He recovers easily enough, answering with, “I just knew. The things I felt for you were never things I had ever felt with anyone else before. It wasn’t like you were my home, per se, but it was like you were safe, that I could trust you and do stupid things in front of you without worrying that you would think I was an idiot.”

Baekhyun blinks. It sounds so easy when Joonmyun says it like that. So why is it so hard for him to adopt the same mentality?

“I’m here if you want to talk,” Joonmyun says softly. Baekhyun bites his bottom lip, worrying the skin between his teeth. Slowly, he reaches a hand out, some anxiety easing when Joonmyun easily links their fingers together. They sit like that, Baekhyun sorting out the mess in his head enough to think of a response while Joonmyun waits patiently.

“I...” Baekhyun starts, only to stop when he _still_ doesn’t know what he wants to say. How does one casually say “I don’t know if my feelings, which caused this whole mess in the first place, are actually valid?”

Eventually, Baekhyun decides on, “I’m having a hard time figuring out if my feelings are real.”

Joonmyun goes rigid. “I’m sorry?”

“It has nothing to do with you,” Baekhyun is quick to explain, only to realize how bad that sounds seconds after. “Wait, no, that’s not-” Baekhyun cuts himself off, frustrated with his inability to say things properly. He’s had days – hell, months – to think about this and everything is still coming out all wrong. Baekhyun clutches Joonmyun’s hand tighter because if he lets go, then Baekhyun will really start to break down.

“Wait a minute, please,” Baekhyun pleads. He needs to unscramble his brain and that, unfortunately, is going to take a moment. He doesn’t want to keep Joonmyun waiting, but he doesn’t want to say something he doesn’t mean, either.

“I started developing feelings for you before I knew we were soulmates,” Baekhyun begins after a few deep breaths. Joonmyun visibly relaxes at that, and Baekhyun would laugh at how cute he is if he didn’t have other things to say. “I was happy after I found out, because then I finally understood why I felt so attracted to you, but then I started to wonder if I really like Kyungsoo the way I think I do.”

Joonmyun makes a noise of understanding, but quiets down after that, letting Baekhyun continue.

“I...I didn’t even know who he was until we made eye contact and I felt like my lungs were dissolving. I know you know what that feels like, so I won’t go into the details,” Baekhyun says, a little smile curling his lips up despite the emotions warring inside him. “But the point is that throughout my whole relationship with Kyungsoo, I’ve always known he was my soulmate. There was never a doubt in my mind that we were going to end up together, so that’s why I started to wonder if I liked him because I want to or because I felt I had to.”

“I think,” Joonmyun states quietly, “that you were meant to meet that day just like you were meant to fall for him and we were meant to cross paths. In another world, in another life, where there aren’t soulmates, I’m sure we would’ve somehow found our way to each other. Maybe only two of us would’ve met, maybe all three of us. The possibilities are endless, but what matters is that here, in this life, we met and one day will probably be in love.”

Baekhyun’s breath hitches, eyes wide as he stares at Joonmyun. He looks the most sincere Baekhyun has ever seen him, so _sure_ of what he’s saying that Baekhyun can’t help but start believing it himself. There’s no point in wallowing over what could happen or why things have already happened if he’s happy, or at least well on the way to it.

“It’s so easy when you say it that way,” Baekhyun grumbles, but he’s not annoyed. If anything, he’s thankful for Joonmyun, so, so thankful.

Joonmyun laughs, the sullen atmosphere drifting away like clouds parting for the sun. “It’s easy if you believe it as well. I still think you should talk to Kyungsoo, though. I’m glad I could help a little, but I also know that I’m not who you really need to talk to.”

A burst of affection settles itself in Baekhyun’s bones as he looks at Joonmyun. “Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you?”

The flush that appears on Joonmyun’s cheeks has Baekhyun smiling.

It takes about a day for Baekhyun to text Kyungsoo, Joonmyun a comforting presence across the lunch table for him, as they had decided to eat lunch in the lunchroom today. 

_Can we talk? It’s nothing too bad, promise!_

Baekhyun’s in the middle of telling Joonmyun a story about how he used to hide all of his brother’s socks when he was younger when the table vibrates with an incoming message. They both reach for their phones instinctively, but it’s Baekhyun’s phone that had rang, heart beating faster when he reads that it’s from Kyungsoo.

_That sounds bad even though you said it wasn’t. But okay. I can bring some takeout over after work?_

Baekhyun snorts. Leave it to Kyungsoo to have doubt but agree to it anyways.

He sends back a happy emoticon and looks up from his phone to see Joonmyun smiling at him.

“I’m glad you’re working it out,” is all he says.

Baekhyun beams and says, “Me too. Hopefully after this we can stop going through so many periods of angst all of the time.”

Joonmyun bursts out laughing. “That would be nice, although what’s life without a few bumps in the road?”

“Better,” Baekhyun groans dramatically, Joonmyun’s pretty laughter ringing in his ears.

Baekhyun isn’t sure if Kyungsoo is getting better at reading his moods or if he’s just more willing to talk nowadays, but Kyungsoo doesn’t wait a minute after they’ve eaten to turn towards Baekhyun and ask what he wanted to talk about.

Baekhyun splutters, thinking that he had at least a minimum of ten minutes to get himself together while Kyungsoo simply sat on the couch and thought about whatever he usually thinks about when Baekhyun is struggling with words. Kyungsoo doesn’t appear to be joking, though, simply stares at Baekhyun with a hint of a smile on his lips that doesn’t help hide the stress lines in the corners of his eyes.

Despite all of the hours he’s had to prepare for this after talking with Joonmyun, there’s still a sharp pain in his stomach thinking about telling Kyungsoo everything. Baekhyun isn’t sure if he wants to say everything all of a sudden. It’s hard for Baekhyun to fight for what he wants when he doesn’t feel wanted in the first place, but there’s also the possibility that he’s not as unwanted as he thinks he is.

Well, he thinks wryly, maybe he’ll be more unwanted after telling Kyungsoo about how he’s been basically doubting his love for Kyungsoo for months now.

By some miracle of God, Baekhyun manages to spill his guts to Kyungsoo in a way that is much more coherent than he could’ve hoped. And in another twist of fate, Kyungsoo _doesn’t_ look pissed, at least not the way Baekhyun had anticipated he would be. Instead of the hurt or possible fury Baekhyun had expected to see on Kyungsoo’s face, Baekhyun instead finds determination after Baekhyun, tears clinging to his lashes, explains how he’s tired of being scared of wanting certain things he thinks he can’t have.

“The bond is just a way to pull two,” Kyungsoo pauses, “or three, people together. I know I don’t say this a lot, if at all, and I may not talk about soulmates much either, but I believe that we were meant for each other. We were going to find each other, whether it be the day we met, the day after, or twenty years down the road. We’re all meant for each other, Baekhyun, please don’t talk as if we aren’t.”

Baekhyun laughs, the sound escaping him before he can even think about it. Kyungsoo’s face drops, the fire replaced by confusion. “I’m sorry,” Baekhyun manages to wheeze out through his laughter. “I’m not laughing at you, it’s just that Joonmyun basically said the same thing to me when he was giving me a pep talk to talk to you.”

“Oh?” Kyungsoo wonders and he’s suddenly got this beautiful smile on his face. It’s not large, just a closed-lip smile that could barely pass as being there had Baekhyun not been so attuned to everything about Kyungsoo. “So it seems that I was right when I said we were meant for each other.”

Once Baekhyun stops giggling uncontrollably, Kyungsoo places a hand on Baekhyun’s thigh. It’s a comforting touch, even if it’s one that is barely there, like Kyungsoo is afraid of pressing too hard and pushing Baekhyun along with it. It’s ridiculous, but it’s also endearing, how after all this time Kyungsoo is afraid of doing things he doesn’t think he can do. Baekhyun thinks he can understand where he’s coming from.

Kyungsoo clears his throat. “I know that it’s taken me a while to accept it, but I promise that I’m better now and that I don’t see a future without the both of you in it.”

In order to abate the tears he feels coming, Baekhyun jokes, “Do we still look good when we get older?”

It’s silent for a few seconds as Kyungsoo looks at him like he’s from another planet before he’s laughing perhaps the hardest Baekhyun has ever heard him laugh. Baekhyun’s lips curl up on their own, a natural reaction to such a beautiful sound and from knowing that he was the one who caused it.

It’s in this moment that Baekhyun truly realizes how lucky his is. Joonmyun’s question of what life would be like without bumps really rings true - without the hardships, Baekhyun never would have appreciated what he has now as much as he does.

Baekhyun thanks whoever is looking out for him in this moment, because they’re either an angel or something worthy of equal praise. Whoever it is, Baekhyun is thankful.

☆ ☆ ☆

About a blissful month later, Baekhyun spies someone walking down the hallway whom he hasn’t seen in awhile.

“Mark!” he calls out, a smile on his face as he jogs over to where Mark is.

Mark’s wide-eyed stare settles into a more natural one, lips lifting as he says, “Hey, stranger.”

“Ah,” Baekhyun says, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m really sorry if it seemed like I dumped you after that first meeting. I didn’t mean to but life kind of sucked me in and sent me for a ride.”

Mark laughs softly, eyes crinkling up. “It’s okay, I assumed you were working things out. How did that go?”

“Wonderfully,” Baekhyun says a little dreamily. “I’ll save you the details, but basically we were all really stupid for an unnecessary amount of time. But we’re all very happy now!” Baekhyun can still feel the way Kyungsoo and Joonmyun’s hands had felt in his when they had gone out for a date last weekend, the three of them. It wasn’t perfect – first dates never are, only made worse by there being three of them – but it was amazing and everything that Baekhyun wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life doing.

Mark’s smile is soft, but his eyes are even softer. “I’m glad.”

They somehow end up in the lunchroom after Baekhyun had asked to join him since he was on his way to eat as well.

Mark has been quiet for the past few minutes, which isn’t unusual since Baekhyun almost always manages to command a conversation, but he doesn’t notice until he’s finished with his story and sees that Mark is staring at him intently.

“You already have two soulmates, don’t be greedy for a third. A taken one at that,” Baekhyun jokes. He bursts out laughing at Mark’s wide-eyed stare. He’s really too adorable. “I’m kidding.”

But Mark is still looking at him, this time with a soft smile that Baekhyun knows has nothing to do with amusement from Baekhyun’s joke.

“You’re happy,” Mark comments.

“Yes?” Baekhyun asks, not having expected such a comment. At least he can stop wondering if he should start surreptitiously cleaning his teeth and touching his face to see what’s out of place now that he knows why Mark had kept staring at him.

Mark only smiles. “It was worth it, the struggle.”

Another statement, not a question.

“Yes.” Baekhyun smiles unconsciously just thinking about Kyungsoo and Joonmyun.

The journey had been long and painful, but what Baekhyun’s feeling right now isn’t something that Baekhyun would ever want to give up. It’s a feeling he’s wanted to feel his whole life, and while he always thought he would only be with one person, two is infinitely better if only because he has double the love to give and receive. He’s always felt incomplete, albeit less so after meeting Kyungsoo, but this, the three of them together, tells Baekhyun that this is right, that this is his other home, his comfort, his happiness, his drive, his meaning.

“I’m glad,” Mark says, stifling a laugh when Baekhyun jumps slightly, blinking out of his thoughts.

“You’re aren’t the only one,” Baekhyun replies with a smile.

“I was thinking,” Mark says a little while later. “Did you maybe want to hang out sometime?”

“Does right now not count?” Baekhyun teases.

“N-no, it does,” Mark stutters. Baekhyun barely resists the urge to pinch Mark’s cheeks. “I meant like...all six of us?”

Baekhyun blinks. That was random, but it isn’t unwelcome. It could be fun, not only for Baekhyun to see what the three of them are like together but also to make new friends, ones that understand them in ways no one will ever be able to.

It doesn’t take much more thinking for him to ask, “When?”

☆ ☆ ☆

Jaebum and Jinyoung are nothing like what Baekhyun thought they would be like. To be fair, Baekhyun hadn’t thought about them much at all, so it would be incorrect to say they aren’t what he’s expecting because he hadn’t been expecting anything at all. Regardless, when the three of them step into the small fast food chain Baekhyun and Mark had settled on at the designated time, Baekhyun is almost too distracted by the two attractive men flanking Mark to get up and greet Mark.

“I’m glad you made it,” Mark says and his smile is so bright, it could rival Joonmyun’s. It’s the widest smile he’s ever seen on Mark’s face, and he’s so busy staring that he almost jumps when someone snorts.

“It looks like you have an admirer,” the one on Mark’s left states. He looks cute, soft in a way that makes it seem like he would be a pacifist in any fight. His black hair looks soft as well, brushing against his forehead and framing perfect almond-shaped eyes.

The male to Mark’s right doesn’t look soft at all, eyes hard and piercing as they stare at Baekhyun from under silver bangs. There are probably ten piercings in his ears (okay, Baekhyun is exaggerating, but who would _want_ as many piercings as this guy has?) and his lips are set in a thin line. Baekhyun kind of feels like he’s being interrogated even though he’s done nothing to warrant such treatment.

“Should we be worried?” the second male says. Baekhyun doesn’t miss the way his grip around Mark’s waist tightens and it makes Baekhyun smile despite his unease. “Why are you smiling?” he asks gruffly.

Baekhyun waves his hands around frantically. “Ah no, it’s not what you’re thinking, I just-”

A hand drops on his shoulder, Baekhyun immediately relaxing when the same hand squeezes. “Please excuse Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says. “He can get a bit too excited and forget his manners sometimes.”

Baekhyun turns to pout at Kyungsoo. He simply softly pats Baekhyun on the face, reaching his other hand out. “My name is Kyungsoo and I’m, unfortunately, soulmates with Baekhyun. Joonmyun is much more pleasant to be around.”

Baekhyun’s indignant squawk is covered by Joonmyun’s laugh behind him and Mark’s laugh in front of him. Mark is the first one to reach a hand out, but the one to his right doesn’t let him get too far, the hand around his waist reeling him back in quickly.

The nicer-looking one introduces himself as Jinyoung, and the scary one huffs out a, “Jaebum.” Baekhyun decides that he likes Jinyoung better already – he seems less likely to hurt Baekhyun for even breathing in Mark’s direction.

It turns out that Baekhyun couldn’t be more wrong. After they sit down, it only takes a few minutes of Mark wiggling around before Jinyoung drawls, “I don’t know why Jaebum is suffocating you with so much attention, hyung. It’s not like you’re going anywhere, so he shouldn’t feel threatened.”

And then Jaebum _sputters_ , ears going red as he quickly retracts his arm from around Mark’s waist much to Mark’s amusement. Jinyoung simply continues picking at a straw wrapper, acting as if he hadn’t even said anything in the first place. Baekhyun can only look at Jinyoung with some mix of awe and fear.

Jaebum is much more companionable after that, not that Baekhyun really understands why he was so hostile in the first place. Jinyoung must also be a mind reader because right as Baekhyun thinks that, Jinyoung says, “Hey, Jaebum hyung, they also have two soulmates. There’s no need to be so touchy whenever we meet new people.”

Jaebum huffs. Mark slowly places his head in the crook of Jaebum’s shoulder while Jaebum absentmindedly plays with his hair. It looks so casual, like they’ve done it a million times, and maybe they have.

“Don’t act like you don’t do the same thing when we’re at home,” Jaebum says, shooting Jinyoung a look. He turns towards the three of them, then, entire body slumping a bit as he sighs. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to do it, I’m just very protective. It’s just...we’ve met a lot of people who don’t understand what we have. Mark’s name may not fit with ours perfectly, but we still love him and he loves us. Maybe we weren’t meant to be together, maybe we were and we’re the exception to the rule just like you are. We stopped questioning it a long time ago, especially after last names started to appear, too.”

Baekhyun can’t hide his shock, mouth dropping open at the new information. Mark has taken to hiding his face in Jaebum’s shoulder, but Baekhyun can still see the flush on his cheeks that he’s so desperately trying to hide.

“Wow,” Joonmyun says. “You have last names, too?”

Jinyoung nods, joining in on the conversation by saying, “Yeah. We never had a doubt we were meant to be together before that, but that confirmation certainly didn’t hurt.”

“Can I see your tattoos?” Baekhyun blurts out.

All three of them hesitate, visibly surprised by the request.

“Sorry for asking,” Baekhyun says quickly once he notices their uncomfortable expressions. “I’ve been told that I don’t notice social cues and when things are or aren’t appropriate.”

Kyungsoo snorts. “That’s the truth.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun cries with a pout. Kyungsoo doesn’t look repentant at all, simply raises an eyebrow in what Baekhyun knows is a challenge.

Joonmyun pats him on the thigh before he can take the bait, and Baekhyun relaxes immediately, sticking his tongue out at Kyungsoo before leaning his head on Joonmyun’s shoulder. As Joonmyun rubs small, soothing circles onto Baekhyun’s thigh, Baekhyun trying and trying to get closer like a cat begging for attention, someone laughs.

“What’s funny?” Baekhyun mumbles, but there’s no heat to it, as he’s lulled into a peaceful state due to Joonmyun continuing to rub circles.

Jaebum looks amused when Baekhyun blinks his eyes open. “You guys are interesting, that’s all. Jinyoung and Mark would never do anything like that.”

Before Baekhyun can retort that he’s very happy with his lot in life as a kitten, Jinyoung all but smashes his face into Jaebum’s shoulder, arms winding around Jaebum’s waist as he whines loudly.

“What are you-” Jaebum starts to ask, trying and failing to push Jinyoung away while Mark hides his laugh behind his hand.

“Are you sure about that, Jaebum hyung?” Jinyoung asks, and while Jaebum continues to wiggle away and into Mark, Baekhyun can tell that half of the fight has already left Jaebum.

“I swear he’s not usually like this,” Jaebum tries to assert, but all that does is get Jinyoung to push forward more, and Baekhyun is sure that he would be in Jaebum’s lap if not for the table being in the way.

“Our kitty Jinyoung,” Mark coos, which sounds utterly ridiculous in Mark’s deep voice, but it somehow works. Jinyoung doesn’t seem to mind, nuzzling up against Jaebum, who glares at Mark.

“I thought you were on my side.”

“It’s not nice to play favorites,” Mark states wisely. Baekhyun laughs at the dumbfounded expression on Jaebum’s face.

And then another hand finds its way into Baekhyun’s hair, fingers lightly carding through his bangs. “Maybe our puppy would have fun playing with your kitty, then,” Kyungsoo muses. Baekhyun isn’t even sure how they stumbled into this conversation at this point, but if pretending to be a dog will get him more people petting through his hair, he’s more than okay with that.

Someone knocks their foot with Baekhyun’s under the table, but Baekhyun doesn’t have to look down to see who, not with the gentle smile on Jinyoung’s face.

“Meow?” Jinyoung wonders.

“Woof!” Baekhyun replies, and it takes about two seconds before all six of them are laughing at the complete absurdity of the situation.

They end up sitting in that booth for hours, sharing stories about themselves, their families, and simply general things that have come up with there being three of them.

“Meeting the parents isn’t that bad,” Mark says at one point after Baekhyun had said the three of them were thinking about meeting Baekhyun’s parents next month. Jinyoung and Jaebum both look over at that, giving Mark their complete attention. “Of course, we haven’t had the time to go to California and meet my parents, but both of their parents were really welcoming, and I’m really thankful for that.”

“Well after how much I talked about you, I hoped they would’ve liked you,” Jinyoung joked. It gets a blush to rise to Mark’s cheeks, which Jaebum smiles at.

“And if my parents hadn’t liked you, which was and still is something I think is impossible, I wouldn’t have cared. I would’ve convinced them in some way because you’re too important to let go.”

Mark simply whines, covering his flaming cheeks with both of his hands while Jaebum and Jinyoung coo at him.

A hand settles on Baekhyun’s thigh, fingers gripping tight. He turns towards Kyungsoo, a worried look on his face. “Are you okay?”

Kyungsoo bites his lip and nods. Baekhyun knows he’s lying, eyebrows furrowing when Kyungsoo’s fingers dig in more. It’s uncomfortable, but the physical pain is nothing compared to the concern he feels for Kyungsoo.

“You look a little pale,” Baekhyun observes, eyes sweeping over Kyungsoo’s face. “Do you want water?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, but Baekhyun is already turning towards Joonmyun, lips close to Joonmyun’s ear as he asks if Kyungsoo can have his water.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Kyungsoo mumbles once Joonmyun pushes his water over. 

Baekhyun simply places his hand over Kyungsoo’s. “I know you’re still a bit uncomfortable with parents, I’m sorry for asking.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “It’s okay. You were curious so you asked. Besides, it’s nice to hear positive stories.”

Baekhyun sighs but nods, knowing there isn’t much more to say at this point. He nearly jumps when there’s hot breath on his ear, neck scrunching slightly at the sudden feeling.

“Is he okay?” Joonmyun wonders.

“Well enough,” Baekhyun answers. Joonmyun looks at Kyungsoo over Baekhyun’s shoulders and he doesn’t know what Joonmyun finds, but Baekhyun sees Joonmyun nod out of the corner of his eye.

“They’re nice,” Kyungsoo comments later on the way home, Baekhyun in the back, Kyungsoo driving, and Joonmyun in the passenger seat.

“They are! I mean, I used to talk to Mark a lot, still do, but that was the first time I met Jinyoung and Jaebum,” Baekhyun says.

“I think it’s nice to know we aren’t alone,” Joonmyun comments quietly. Baekhyun freezes for a second, eyes darting over to Kyungsoo only to relax when he finds a gentle smile.

“Yeah, it is.”

Baekhyun can’t help but beam when Kyungsoo places his hand on top of Joonmyun’s and keeps it there for the rest of the ride home.

☆ ☆ ☆

“I feel like crap.”

“You look like crap.”

Baekhyun scowls at Kyungsoo. “You’re supposed to make me feel better, not agree with me!”

Kyungsoo stares back, unimpressed. “But you wouldn’t have listened to me if I had tried to tell you that you looked fine.”

Baekhyun huffs, knowing that Kyungsoo is right but childishly not wanting to admit it. Instead, he turns towards Joonmyun with a pout. Joonmyun immediately throws his hands up.

“Don’t include me in this.”

“Too bad.” Baekhyun exaggerates his pout, knowing that Joonmyun is weak to it. “You’re always going to be included whether you like it or not.”

Joonmyun sighs like he’s put out, but Baekhyun can tell that he’s about a second away from giving in. “While Kyungsoo is right,” Joonmyun starts, putting a hand up when Baekhyun starts whining, “you really don’t look bad. This is probably the best you’ve looked in the entire time that I’ve known you.”

Baekhyun beams, his earlier minor indignation completely melting away.

“He’s literally wearing jeans and a sweater,” Kyungsoo says.

Joonmyun shrugs and Baekhyun loves the bashful look on his face. “He looks cute and comfortable. And his thighs look really nice in those jeans.”

“Thank you!” Baekhyun coos, pleased when Joonmyun can’t look him in the eyes for more than a second.

Up until now, Baekhyun had been panicking from the moment he woke up. His mother had finally worn him down to the point where he had agreed to come over with his boyfriends for dinner. He still remembers the day he told his parents that one of the reasons he hadn’t come over as often was because he was sorting things out with his two boyfriends. He hadn’t meant to say it at all, and he’s sure his eyes had widened to comical proportions, but his parents hadn’t looked disgusted at all.

Eventually, his mother had softly said, “Well you’ve always had a big heart with a lot of love to give.” Then she had smiled that pretty smile of hers and Baekhyun had almost cried.

Now, though, Baekhyun might cry from stress instead. Knowing his mother, she’s going to be incredibly overbearing and won’t let Baekhyun talk for one minute, whether it be because she’s badgering Kyungsoo and Joonmyun with questions or because she’s too busy sharing embarrassing stories. He knows his mother and he knows she isn’t going to go easy on him.

“Shouldn’t I be the more nervous one here since I haven’t had a relationship with my parents in years?” Kyungsoo jokes. Baekhyun appreciates it, he does, but he can also see the panic shining in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

“You don’t have to be strong all the time,” Baekhyun mutters. Kyungsoo’s expression slips, but then it’s back and more determined than ever.

“I know, but you said they were accepting, right?”

“Right, but I know my mother is going to make the next few hours unbearably painful for me,” Baekhyun replies.

A gentle tug on his right hand brings Baekhyun’s attention to Joonmyun. His eyes close on instinct when he sees that Joonmyun is leaning forward, heart trying to beat through his ribs when Joonmyun kisses him. Even though this isn’t the first kiss they’ve shared, Baekhyun still isn’t used to the indescribable feeling of Joonmyun’s lips on his.

When he pulls back, Baekhyun swears that Joonmyun’s eyes are reflecting all the stars in the night sky. “You’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine.”

Dazed, Baekhyun can only nod. Kyungsoo snorting to his left brings him out of the clouds in his head.

“Do you want a kiss, too?” Baekhyun teases once he gets his bearings.

He doesn’t give Kyungsoo time to respond before he’s tugging Kyungsoo forward by their intertwined hands, eyelashes fluttering shut when he feels Kyungsoo’s plush lips against his. It’s a quick kiss, Baekhyun not wanting it to escalate like he knows it could, especially when they’re standing on the sidewalk in front of his house.

Kyungsoo’s face is carefully blank, which Baekhyun doesn’t think is fair at all. Baekhyun himself feels like he’s floating and the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground is his grip on Kyungsoo and Joonmyun’s hands. Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow, but Baekhyun isn’t sure what he could want.

He gets his answer when Joonmyun lets go of his hand in order to walk around Baekhyun and kiss Kyungsoo as well, Baekhyun’s jaw dropping open. It isn’t the first time he’s seen it, and they’ve certainly kissed more than the times he’s been there to witness it, but it’s still such a new thing to see that Baekhyun has yet to get used to it. This time two months ago, Baekhyun had little hope that they would ever get to this phase, so it’s weird, but not unwanted, when Kyungsoo and Joonmyun act like a couple. Baekhyun isn’t complaining though. To others, it might be odd just how giddy he gets when his boyfriends kiss, but they’ve never been normal and Baekhyun is perfectly content with that.

“Okay,” Baekhyun chirps once Joonmyun is back at his side, “are you guys ready to go now? I wouldn’t mind kissing more, but we’re going to be late otherwise and I don’t particularly want my mom to open the door and find us making out.”

Both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun laugh at that. It’s Kyungsoo who starts to walk first, a small smile on his lips as he does.

Baekhyun has to let go of Joonmyun’s hand when he knocks on the door, but he makes sure to squeeze Joonmyun’s hand extra tightly when he intertwines their fingers again. Joonmyun is trying hard to hide how nervous he is, but Baekhyun can see the way he keeps fidgeting in place.

“You’ll be fine,” Baekhyun murmurs.

Joonmyun doesn’t have time to respond before the door flies open and Baekhyun’s mother is crying, “Baekhyun! It’s about time you showed up!”

Baekhyun wheezes when his mother pulls him to his chest, fingers tightening their hold on both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun’s hands. “Hi mom,” Baekhyun manages to choke out.

She gasps, then, and Baekhyun resists the urge to roll his eyes. His mother can be so dramatic. “And who are these handsome men?”

“I told you who they are on the ph-” Baekhyun gets cut off, wheezing when his mother squeezes him a little too hard.

“What are your names?” she asks and this time Baekhyun _does_ rolls his eyes.

“I’m still here, you know,” Baekhyun grumbles, but his mother isn’t paying him attention anymore, not when she has two new people to sink her claws into. Fortunately, both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun take it in stride, and while Baekhyun can’t see their faces on account of his face still being squished into his mother’s shoulder, he can tell that they’re smiling. Whether they’re smiling to be polite or smiling because Baekhyun is suffering, or another reason, Baekhyun isn’t sure. The important thing is that their grips on his hands are loosening by the second and that gets him to smile, too. He might constantly talk about how much he was dreading this meeting because of his mother, but he’s thankful for her nonstop chattering and how genuinely excited she is to see them.

Baekhyun yelps when his support is no longer in front of him, his mother having moved out of the way to welcome them inside. Thankfully, both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun are still there to steady him. Baekhyun dutifully ignores their amused smiles as they watch him suffer.

Baekhyun’s father is waiting just inside the hallway, shoulders set and eyes hard as they walk in the door. It has Baekhyun faltering, feet tripping over themselves because this wasn’t what he was expecting at all. His father had seemed just as accepting as his mother, albeit much more subdued, when Baekhyun had told him, so he’s not sure what changed.

“Dad?” Baekhyun asks. He must sound weak, or scared, since his father’s carefully crafted composure crumbles easily like a soft cookie in milk as he laughs a full-bodied laugh.

“You should’ve seen your face!” His dad says through his laughter. It’s only then that Baekhyun realizes just how tightly he was squeezing his boyfriend’s hands; as the tension drains from his shoulders, he relaxes and feels the start of a gap between their hands. When Baekhyun hazards a look at both of them, he finds both of them attempting to hold their laughter in, Joonmyun biting his lower lip while Kyungsoo muffles his behind his free hand. 

With a huff, Baekhyun lets go of both of their hands in order to cross his arms in front of his chest. “I hate all of you.”

“Don’t say that,” his mother coos. Baekhyun sniffs when she places a comforting hand on his shoulder because she’s still laughing.

“I just did,” he says petulantly.

Except it’s hard to stay angry, or pretend to be angry, when a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders and murmurs, “Don’t be angry.”

Baekhyun tries, he _really_ tries, not to shiver, but Kyungsoo’s voice had gone so deep that he can’t help it. And then Joonmyun joins in, too, arms snaking around Baekhyun’s waist as he nuzzles against Baekhyun’s other side.

“I hate you,” Baekhyun says again, this time much weaker.

“You love us,” Joonmyun murmurs, lips brushing against Baekhyun’s collarbones.

Baekhyun has to bite his tongue to keep from agreeing because now is not the time he wants to announce love declarations, especially not with his parents standing a few feet away, his mother wrapped in his father’s arms as they smile at him softly. His heart tugs at the scene, and despite all of the teasing, he knows that this is the happiest he’ll be, knowing that his parents accept _both_ of his soulmates and that his soulmates are slowly letting their walls down as well.

“So, who wants to hear embarrassing stories from Baekhyun’s childhood?”

“Mom!”

☆ ☆ ☆

It’s quiet, the only sound in their house being Baekhyun’s steady breathing. The water in the kettle isn’t quite at boiling temperature yet, but Baekhyun isn’t paying it as much attention as he knows he should. The paper in his hand has all of his attention, eyes wide as he reads it over and over again.

_We invite you to share this wonderful moment with_

_Kim Jongdae  
&  
Kim Jongin_

_as they start their new lives together._

Those names, while not the most familiar, ring a few bells from over a decade ago. Baekhyun can still remember the irritation that he felt towards Sehun and Jongdae for setting him up with Jongin, thinking that Jongin was his soulmate. And now it turns out Jongdae and Jongin are soulmates and are getting _married_.

Baekhyun reaches for his phone, fingers on autopilot as they dial Sehun’s number. Normally if Baekhyun had questions about their old college friends, Baekhyun would ask Yixing since Yixing seems to remember everything and everyone. But when Baekhyun wants quick answers, he always calls Sehun, since he’s _always_ on his phone. Besides, if Sehun doesn’t know, then he’s always with Yixing, so Baekhyun knows he’ll get an answer no matter what.

“Hello?” Sehun answers, voice terribly groggy. Baekhyun glances at the clock quickly to see that it’s a little before noon, so Baekhyun doesn’t even feel bad at all.

“Hey, have you checked your mail yet?”

Sehun scoffs. “Hyung, it’s noon on a Saturday. Do you think that I’m even out of bed yet?”

Baekhyun scoffs this time. “You’re, what, almost thirty now? And you’re still lazing around on a Saturday?”

“I still need beauty sleep,” Sehun primly replies.

Baekhyun chooses to ignore that, instead getting straight to the point. “Did you know that Jongin and Jongdae are getting married? More importantly, did you know they were soulmates?”

And that’s the part that throws Baekhyun off the most, the fact that he hadn’t even know they were together in the first place. Baekhyun will admit that he hasn’t been that up-to-date on old friends in the past few years, but he didn’t think he was _this_ out of it, especially with how close he and Jongdae had gotten in the years following college.

“They adopted a kid, hyung,” Sehun drawls. There’s shuffling on the other line, and then some whispering. Baekhyun can faintly make out the sound of Yixing’s sleep-ridden voice through the phone, but he’s so shocked he barely registers it.

“They adopted a kid?” Baekhyun shrieks. Where the fuck has he been these past few years?

“Yeah, super cute kid, Zitao,” Sehun replies before gasping. Baekhyun wrinkles his nose, not wanting to know what is going on and, after a quick thanks, ends the call.

Baekhyun has barely put the phone down on the counter before it’s his turn to gasp when someone wraps their arms around his waist.

“Why are you bristling so early in the morning?” Joonmyun asks, voice still sleepy and taking on a gravelly tone.

Baekhyun shivers, unable to help it. He’ll never get used to Joonmyun’s morning voice no matter how many times he’s already heard it. He only remembers Joonmyun asked him a question when Joonmyun hums and squeezes Baekhyun lightly.

He ends up slumping in Joonmyun’s embrace. “I’m not bristling, first off.” Joonmyun laughs softly and Baekhyun’s stomach drops at the low sound, but he brushes it off in order to answer Joonmyun’s question despite how difficult he’s making it. “Jongdae and Jongin are getting married.”

Joonmyun hums. “Good for them. I’m assuming you only found out from the wedding invitation.”

Even now, Baekhyun will never understand how Joonmyun picks up his ticks and tells so easily.

“Yes,” Baekhyun grumbles.

“And I’m also assuming you’re beating yourself up about it. Don’t be grumpy,” Joonmyun says with a poke to Baekhyun’s side. Baekhyun wiggles but Joonmyun tightens his hold and Baekhyun tries to ignore the butterflies roaming around his stomach. “At least they invited you, right?”

Baekhyun huffs, but he knows that Joonmyun is telling the truth. “You’re right. As usual.”

He shivers when Joonmyun chuckles, both from the warm air ghosting across his neck and from the slightly rough sound.

“Hey, there’s even a box for a plus _two_. They know about you but it seems you don’t know much about them.”

Baekhyun knows Joonmyun is just teasing, that Joonmyun is just trying to rile him up, but it’s too _early_ despite being the afternoon, so Baekhyun settles with whining. “Let me live.”

Joonmyun laughs again and this time Baekhyun can’t help the shiver that wracks his body. Joonmyun almost always wakes up before he does, so he hasn’t heard much of Joonmyun’s morning voice. He’s used to Joonmyun’s normally higher-pitched tone, so he’s entirely unprepared for how much he likes Joonmyun’s lower pitch each and every time he hears it. It reminds him a bit of Kyungsoo’s voice and all Baekhyun feels is pain. Maybe some arousal as well, but mostly pain.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing!” Baekhyun squeaks, letting out a small whimper when Joonmyun splays fingers against Baekhyun’s stomach and presses lightly.

“You’re still lying, but I’ll let it go.” Baekhyun swears he hears the smirk in Joonmyun’s voice and it’s then that he realizes Joonmyun is doing this on purpose. It registers through his Joonmyun-filled haze, but the haze renders him weak, pliant in Joonmyun’s hold as he slumps in defeat.

“Awful,” Baekhyun says, loud enough for Joonmyun to hear.

Joonmyun simply gives his stomach another squeeze with a light laugh. “I’m not, but if you want to believe that, you can.”

Joonmyun places a kiss right behind Baekhyun’s ear before disappearing and Baekhyun doesn’t trust his stability enough to turn and find out where. His legs shake and it’s unreasonable that Joonmyun can _still_ make him feel like his world is shaking and he’ll puke butterflies out at any minute, but he really wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey,” Joonmyun calls out. Baekhyun’s heart kicks into overdrive, not noticing that Joonmyun hadn’t completely left the kitchen yet. He finally gets a good look at Joonmyun, eyes roaming over his adorable bed head, blond strands sticking up at the back of his head, and over his arms and legs that are visible under Joonmyun’s tank top and shorts. Joonmyun smiles then, Baekhyun’s insides turning into stars and lighting up his body. “Isn’t Yixing coming over so you can go see Henry and Amber later?”

“Crap,” Baekhyun mutters. He had been completely distracted with the wedding invitation that he forgot the real reason he had gotten out of bed was to riffle through their cupboards for coffee. Joonmyun had gotten him into the addictive beverage years ago, although he’s miraculously managed to not become completely dependent. But then he suddenly remembers the phone call he just had and how Yixing hadn’t sounded awake at all. “Hold on.”

Baekhyun fires off a quick text to Henry and Amber that they might be a little late, and then another to Yixing telling him to text him when he’s actually awake. Joonmyun is staring at him fondly when he finishes up and Baekhyun bounds over to Joonmyun, giddy as he lifts to his toes and kisses him. Joonmyun falls into it easily, arms wrapping around Baekhyun’s waist for the second time that day.

“Not that I mind,” Joonmyun says when they pull apart, “but shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

Baekhyun smiles, eyes twinkling. “Yixing is buying us more time. So, why don’t we go wake Kyungsoo up? It won’t take much since he only wore boxers and a shirt to bed last night.”

Joonmyun kisses him. “I like the way you think.”

Baekhyun lets himself get dragged away, distracted by the way Joonmyun’s muscles flex as he pulls Baekhyun along and the way his lips are still tingling from their kisses.

Baekhyun used to believe in a perfect life, a perfect future, realizing too late that perfect doesn’t exist. Perfect is only what you make of it – it doesn’t have a set definition, a set feeling, a set moment. Perfect is those stupid moments in the car when one of them bursts out laughing for no reason. Perfect is those emotions that swirl in Baekhyun’s chest when he glances at Joonmyun curled up for a nap in the corner of their couch. Perfect is Kyungsoo singing and shaking his butt in the kitchen as he makes a meal. Perfect is crawling in bed at night and feeling two pairs of hands twist and tug him until they’re all comfortable and warm, both physically and emotionally. His new perfect isn’t the same as his old perfect, but that’s okay, because Baekhyun has learned and loved and grown and this is his own kind of perfect that he will be content with for a very, very long time. He feels the closest to perfection when he’s with them, and he knows he’ll never mind being perfectly imperfect with them for the rest of their lives.

They’re a “we” now, and have been for years. They aren’t just Baekhyun or Kyungsoo or Joonmyun. They aren’t Baekhyun and Kyungsoo or Baekhyun and Joonmyun or Kyungsoo and Joonmyun. They are Baekhyun _and_ Kyungsoo _and_ Joonmyun. Together.


End file.
